It has now officially spiraled out of control and I can't, won't and don't want to have it this way.
The more I think about it the more I see it as a physical and mental abuse, me being both the abuser and the abused. It sounds dramatic and out of line but, this feeling is the truth.
I've pretty much covered myself in excuses and for some reason without any shame up until now. Until today when I got so frustrated with myself for doing what I do. Enough now.
I have noticed a change but I excused myself for it, obviously the signs where there and very noticeable in both my mental, physical and spiritual self.
Now I'm hoping that it isn't too late for a do over. Not from scratch, meaning that I want to delete all my files and documents on my drive but to reorganise and change, shift gear and feel good about it.
I want to share my journey with all of you, a journey I will fight for till the end.
Because it is far more scarier to not live the life you wanted than it is to share it with the world!