Is it really okay to put someone down and make them feel like dirt. is it okay to call someone nothing or freak or loser. is it okay to push someone so far that they end their life. i think its not okay not one bit.

why do people think bullying is some kind of fun game when to be honest, it can damage a person so deeply. so its not a game you should ever play.  words can cut a person so deeply and our actions are not forgotten. everything we do has a deeper meaning and how we treat people is what defines us as person.

bullies think that they can throw words around like lightening and treat others like they are trash when they are not. to be honest i was bully lot back in high school and even at home by my dad, i remember feeling so alone and like i didn't deserve to be happy for even second. i guess i felt like i deserve to be treated like crap. i use to go over in my head remembering every hurtful word everyone said and i was always scary of going to school or going home since i couldn't decide which bully was worse the ones at school or the one at home who was my father.

i guess i felt like everything they said was true and i felt like i was trap in this endless hate for myself because i couldn't stand up to anyone of my bullies or pull myself out of this deep hole i was in. i guess i let myself believe every word and every label they mark me as.  even my self-esteem soon disappear and i felt like if i even speak they would just laugh at my scary voice or every words i said. soon it was too much i got really depressed for long time but somehow i snap myself out of whatever hole i was living in and realize i shouldn't have let one person words affect me so much, and i shouldn't let how someone treats me stop me from living my life. there will always be someone trying to bring you down and want to make you feel weak and like your not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough but what you need to realize is they are wrong. your probably wondering why i pick this topic to talk about, went i have few friends who have kids who are being bully and the schools aren't doing anything about it. i mean is that how the school system is now, you let a child or teenager did push around and thrown to the ground and treated like crap and you don't do anything about it. then again i got thrown out of my chair few times in two different classes by different kids back in high school and no one did anything about it, the teachers didn't even care.  but that's one thing i think should be change the school system and how the school and  teachers handle the whole bully situation since lot of kids die because they got bully way too much and none of the teachers or schools did freaking thing about it. i also think that if you see someone being bully stand up for them or help them by being their friend or tell adult about what happen to them so it doesn't happen again. to be honest i use to be scary to stand up for myself but now i am not, i change and grew up and became stronger and stop caring what others or bullies thought if me because i thought it was time i stand up for myself and stop letting others bring me down.  i do think bullying should stop, a kid or child or teenager shouldn't have to change school's to feel safe and to not have to look over their shoulder all the time. bullying is wrong and i hope someday the world changes and people treat each other with better respect and throw names around  like they think it makes them smart or good person for making someone other feel like crap about themselves.  i just want to say no matter what anyone saids your beautiful and perfect the way you are, don't give people words power by letting it affect you because nothing they say is true and don't end your life because they make you feel low, don't let bullies get to you. everyone who knows you knows how great you are and will tell you not to listen to a bully. don't let anyone have power over you. someday bullies will see how wrong they are for the way they treated you. 

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Whats up Internet people,
Sorry i haven't been on here lately or haven't posted a new post yet but you know how it is, life gets crazy and has a way of keeping you busy .

Anyways i figure you guys know nothing about me which i know is freaking weird but hey i am one of thoses people who hate talking about herself, besides i am not a big talker.  But i thought i sound tell you guys a few interesting facts about my lovely self since all you know about me is that i am random chick who posts random things on here sometimes and has a passion for fashion, just messing with you, my passion is for writing.

I probably should start by telling you my name but i hate my name to the very core since it means princess. I mean for  all that is good in the world, why would my parents want to give me name so freaking girly when in fact it might surprise you but i am not a giry girl or at all princess. I mean if you catch me wearing dress then either the world has ended or aliens brain wash me, just joking but really i would never wear a dress unleash i was force to or if i had to prove a point but that will never happen in this century.  Besides i always hated the word princess or people thinking of me as one which really i am way more of dork or tomboy and i am proud to be a tomboy, i love not having to wear makeup like most girls and not having to get doll up for some random guy or person who will probably not even notice the differences and i love not having to wear uncomfortable heels that will cause me to fall over and embarrassed myself or  make me break my neck  and besides i don't get how women wear something so uncomfortable and heavy on their freaking feet all the time. Don't get me wrong i did try wearing them one time at my prom but man did i want to scream my head off wearing them for that long, they hurt my poor sensitive feet and boy i think i will die of happiness if i never have to wear heels ever again.

Anyways back to the topic at hand which is me. So few things you should know about me is i am not the type of person who gets excited over twilight or who fangirls over one direction or any other random boyband, i do listen to them once in while but i was never one of thoses girls who likes to point out which guy is hotter then the other in which bands. To be honest i do love music, music is like my bestest best friend ever. But to be honest i listen to bands like green day, three days Grace, sleeping in sirens, Ac/Dc and the red jumpsuit apparatus. I guess you could say i love listening to metal and rock and roll.   Other thing about me is i spend most of my time by myself just reading since i don't have any friends not in the sense i actually am around people. I mean i am not very good at picking the right friends since i always end up making friends with the wrong people  and i think i told you guys about that back in one of my posts on here a while back ago. Besides i am not really a very social person or people person and it might because i am one shy girl and i never know what to say or talk about with a actually human being. But hey being by myself most of the time give me time to think and daydream and write more of my crazy stories i love to write.
Other thing you should know about me is i am child trap in a adults body lol, i mean  i act like kid or silly child most of the time but hey i love being a kid at heart, it makes my life exciting. Besides being serious all the time gets pretty boring.
Anyways i think thats all you need to know about me right now. Oh ya i almost forgot instead calling me by my actually real name since i hate it, just call me Tara since its kind of my nickname. I am not telling you how i got the nickname name but if its driving you so mad that you have to know more then anything then leave me few comments below and i will think about sharing my lovely stories of how i got that super great nickname.  Peace out everyone from planet earth, i will post soon and try to post on here more for all you amazing beautiful people!!



you know that moment in your life when you think wow are theses the people who raise me.  Its like the people who are suppose to love and care for you are the totally opposite. i always thought that my mother and i were like the best of friends but then i realize things had change, people have changed even if you didn't want them to.  i guess for little while i was stuck in my own little bubble of the way i wish things were instead of what they actually were.  i guess i just didn't want to accept that the way i feel now won't ever change or  the fact that the man i call my father will always be the same hurtful person he is. 

i guess i wanted to believe that someday my father would look at me and really see me, and not the invisible, weak, girl who he likes to bully all the time. to be honest i always felt invisible in my family and like all they ever saw were my mistakes not the things i could be if they only believe in me.  i remember back when i was younger i felt like i didn't fit in, with my family or my own high school or even with my friends back then.  but maybe i didn't want to fit in with people who only saw the person i pretended to be since i was too scary to be the real me since i kept thinking what if they hate the real me and treat me the same way my father does.   i think i was just so scary to death of being judge by anyone.  to be honest my whole life all my father ever did was judge me and low my self-esteem and make me hate everything about myself but then it all change. 

i realize it didn't matter what anyone saids or even if my family ever acted like a real actually  family towards me, and that it also didn't matter if nothing i ever do is ever good enough for him because whats important is that i know i am good enough in my heart and that i believe in myself and that as long as i have this strong will, i will never give up on anything or on myself since i am strong person and been  gotten past the painful moments in my life. Your probably wondering who's the he i was talking about, well that would be my wonderful father  

beside i don't think God sent us theses bumps in our road in order to watch us fail, i may not be as religious as i use to be but i believe that he wanted us to go through there's hard times in our life so we can face them and get past them, so we can be a stronger person and learn from it.

i also like to think all the things i went through with my family and things that happen to me in the past will help in the long run by making me stronger and grow more as a person.



you know how sometimes people say how friendship is this wonderful and amazing thing, but thats not always the case now is it?

sometimes we say all the wrong things in the heat of the moment or you let a thing so small come between you, like boys and differences of opinions for example.
but there are other times when people who are your friends, probably shouldn't ever been your friends in the first place at all.

i mean sometimes we don't always make the right choices when it comes to picking our friends. sometimes we end up hanging out with people who don't treat us the way we should be treated. also sometimes we think we don't deserve real friends, so we end up having fake ones instead.

But i think everyone deserves someone who cares about them and treats them with the respect they deserve. i know for long time i didn't think i deserve real friends who love me for me, and who actually made me feel good about myself instead of bullying me and judging me. But i was wrong,  everyone deserves real true friends who love them for  who they are and not who they think they are.

but also sometimes we do have this horrible habit of being in toxic relationships or friendships. some of you probably don't know what i mean by toxic friendships. Let me put it this way, sometimes we have the habit of making all the wrong friends with all the wrong people. we think we know someone and that we can trust them but then they start to show their true colors and then we realize who they really are, and we see as clearly as day that they were never really our friends, they make us feel worser about ourselves and fill our head with theses poisonous negative words of theirs.

and sometimes we don't realize until it's too late, that we keep repeating this horrible habit of ours, sometimes we are so blinded  by not wanting to be alone or letting the excitement of making a new friend that all our friends or some of them are toxic.

to be honest i use to be very shy and always so super nice that people would use my sweet natural against me and people who i loved and trusted and who i thought were my friends took advantage of me. i didn't even know the word toxic could exist inside of relationship or any kind of friendship.

But now that i think about it, i do have the habit of making toxic friends, but maybe if i can change that, then maybe we all can. maybe i can learn to see the differences between good friends and bad ones and toxic ones.