i've looked forward to this day for ages, and now i'm disappointed. the worst part is probably that i don't think that i dislike it, it's the fear that others will? it's so stupid, but i'm working on it.
ok, just so you're up to date with what the fuck is going on in my head. apparently my greatest fear is that i will be abandoned and that's why i try to please everyone by being what i expect them to like which results in me being the most boring person you'll ever meet. someone who never says their opinions in fear that you will disagree, or that you will think that they are criticizing you as a person (which btw, i'm probably not).
i'm also very immature, because i will think that you are criticizing me as a person if you disagree with what i say, and that's apparently something only kids do? why didn't i grow up when everyone else did?
and lastly, i'm very angry. this is the biggest surprise of all the things i've (ever) learned about me. the problem is that i've been suppressing my anger all my life because in my head you can't be angry at someone you like, which means if i'm angry at someone, the risk of them leaving me is bigger which, as i said before, apparently is my greatest fear.
so that's my head. i hope all of your heads are in a better state.