​I'm tired of everyting

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​I'm sorry for being absent for a while but my arm hurt too much to writte anything ( I have cronic pain that sometimes get worse). I haven't really done that much else from looking at anime and cleaning, I'm sorry that I'm so boring.

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I should be happy I have the most things that people want like money,friends, a complete family and a boyfriend and still I don't want to live. I wish I could just die but I feel like I have no right to be sad, like I don't have it that bad like I'm weak. I know so many people who's going through a lot of tough thing right now and all I'm doing is ungrateful for want I have, I'm a horrible person.

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The day was okay I guess, It wasn't the best but It wasn't that bad though. I still have a small feeling that I'm just in the way of my boyfriends life though, maybe there a person who could make him happier than I can.

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So today I decided to go to school with no makeup because we're going to have a swimming test at school. So I just thought it was unnecessary but now I just feel really ugly, I also didn't wash my hair because I'll wash it after swimming but now I just feel gross. I hope the day go well so I can write something positive later today.

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Today I was kinda failed but I didn't really mind it because today I was supposed to continue with my cleaning but I just ended up watching the whole anime Relife. It's really good though, kinda wish I had more to write about but my life isn't that Exiting.

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I love him so much but I don't think I've ever cried so much because of a person before in my life. I mean I want to believe he's the one because every time he's with me I feel complete and It's where I belong which I've never felt before but I feel like I don't deserve him like he's too good for me and that he could do better than me. 

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today I was trying to clean my room, didn't work out that well though. I also visited my aunt because she turned 57 on Wednesday, when I got home I talked with my boyfriend for like 10 min and then just hung up before he could even finish saying bye(we have almost nothing to talk about and I feel a horrible girlfriend like I'm just wasting his time). I think after posting this all go back to cleaning, maybe that could take my mind off everything for a while.

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(A bit of back story so you guys will understand what I'm talking about, the guy I have a crush on for a year asked me to be his on valentine and he had also liked me under the time I liked him)

I'm so fucking happy, today was the first time he said I love you too me. I know It doesn't sound like much but I really love him and he said that he loved me too. All of this sounds like a dream come true (it's basiclly what it actually is) his finally mine and I'm his. we also decide that we're going to hang out at my place so I'm curently cleaning my room. I don't really have that much more to say, so bye see ya later. ^^

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This is my first post on this blog so I figured I should tell you guys about me. I want to start off with saying that I won't show my face because I don't want to, But i'm not saying I'll never do it but I'll do it either. The reason I stared this blog was because I want to try to be more positive and actually try to be happy and start liking myself so my boyfriend dosn't need to be worried. My plan with my blog was to have it like an open diary and try to write about my day and how I feel and stuff.

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