Sitting in the couch looking out through the window seeing the lake and the wind slowly moving and the birds singing their songs. beeing surrounded with dogs and lovely people everyday. In fact every hour of the day.
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It is hard to try to be happy when everything, well almost everything is bad in life. I have no family that trusts me or even support me through this. I do have friends and a boyfriend and those I am very glad to have in my life. I have been going through a lot of things in life good ones but also very bad ones that no human should need to go through. Life is supposed to be something that you're glad to have and wake up happy every morning, but I am not. At least not when I'm home. When I'm home I get this bad feeling in my stomach that hurts and my heart starts to beat fast. I feel bad every second I spend at home, home is not home to me anymore. I don't want to go back to that place. I don't feel safe or happy there. This is not easy anymore, I thought I could do this until I'm 18 but I can't. I've tried but I can't. I'm not strong enough. Wish me good luck.
Easter is something almost everyone celebrate, why? That is something I do not know. I just know that it is a tradition that we carry on to our children and grandchildren for some reason. There is something with all the candy and the food we eat on easter, it's lovely but also awful how much we can eat. Now when I brought this up I can tell you about the other traditions we have that I can't understand why we have. Like Christmas it's something that we also celebrate, I love it because of the snow that surround us and the gifts we give to our loved ones. But to get gifts that is something I do not like because it makes me want to give more and more. Somehow I feel guilt when I get things, like I have to give back direct or somerhing.
Everyday I feel this pain, it's floating in me and it gets worse when I'm home. When I'm with my boyfriend it disapears but when I'm not with him it comes back again. I don't know what to do to make this pain go away. I can't take it anymore it gets to hard. It's though.
Hi there! This day have been bad but also okey. I would not say that it has been good because it has not beeen good. Today I started my morning with panic and tears and it actually ended pretty well after all. I went to the city with my little sister, it was a long time ago since I spent this many hours with a family member and I don't know if I would say that it is good or bad. Today I never went to school because first of all I could not find my shoes and that's why I got panic because I really wanted to get out of the house. I hate to be home for to longm, there is no peace at home. I should be happy that I could study a little but sometimes it's impossible to even think about studying at home. Tomorrow I will go to school and also on Thursday, on Thursday I'm going to my boyfriend, I miss him so much already. I can't wait until I meet him again. Now I really have to go to bed, talk to ya later!
It's been a while since a posted something here and why is because I have been through things lately. I've met someone too, I have a boyfriend who I spend my weekends with and I've started in a new school so there is a lot of things that I've missed through the year. So I study a little bit more then I used to do. So far everything is great in the new school, I've got some new friends and my bestfriend and her bf is also there so that's a plus. I really like this school and the program I've chosen is fun too. Oh I almost forgot I've turned 17 too, my birthday was great. I really loved it.
I'll write more some other day.
I just love this, to do the things I love the most in school. Yesterday was a day that I'll remember the most from school this year, baking is teraphy for me. It makes me torget about all the bad things in life for a while. After school I went to my bestfriend and mer her boyfriend and let me tell u, he is such a great person. I'm so happy for her, she did really find a good one. We had such a great time together, but today is even better because I became a lot depressed yesterday which kinda ruined the day yesterday. I'm better now and I really needed some time with my bestfriend and her boyfriend, they make me feel better. Happier.
I'm soon about to go home and eat some and the rest is not clear yet. I hope u guys had a great day because I did have a great day.
~ I woke up like this, I woke up like this ~
kidding, no makeup on yet but soon it will be on. Sleeping at my bestfriend's place that I needed. Feels so good to be talking about everything and anything, such a relief. I have no plans for today but I'll write later my friendoos. Happy Valentines day everyone! I miss my bf so muuuuuch!