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Flying high in the sky.
One last time.
Before falling to despair, choking on the air.
That was supposed to keep her alive.
Swirling mist of black and blue.
Nowhere to be found.
She was falling, but now she's crawling.
The ground scorched beneath her.
Hands blistered and bruised.
Her tears dried up long ago.
Choking on the air again.
Trying to exhale, blood filling her mouth.
Dead since long ago.
Wings reaching towards the sky.
All that she loves, within her reach.
She is safe and sound.
She has been found.
In their arms she feels the warmth she once thought to be long lost.
In their love a universe exists, slowly expanding to discover new things.
From colorless to a world filled with colors.
She who had never known love before, was now filled with it.
She who had been hurt many times before.
Trusted too much, felt too much.
She who now had grown out of her insecurities.
Thanks to them, the people who loved her even though she had flaws.
As a child she had never known or understood the meaning of love.
She would always question why people fall in love, if all they're getting is hurt.
It was an emotion too complex for her to understand, she didn't see the point of it all.
So she grew to fear it, yet something inside of her yearned for it.
At the age of 15 she still didn't know what love was.
16, 17, 18... They were all the same.
But at one point during her 18th year something would happen.
Something that would change her and later on make her feel what everyone had tried to describe.
"She didn't want to be loved for her petals, she wanted to be loved for her thorns. She knew if someone loved her flaws, they would love her whole."
I aint no angel
Don't got no halo
I Cut off my wings
Made my momma scream
Im your darkest dream
They call me devil
And Im gonna take my time
My heart is empty
They call me devil
Just try and tempt me
I'll steal your soul
I'll eat you whole
Aint no other way
They call me devil
And you should be afraid
I will tell you lies
I'll crawl inside your mind
Grab hold of your eyes
I will make you mine
And Im gonna take my time
Sometimes our wings feel like they are broken. We watch other people fly by each passing moment.
We must remember that we aren't alone in this big world. That no matter what there is always a solution to the problem.
If we can't see one, we will search for one.
So when those wings of yours feel broken and weak. Stand tall and proud and just jump. Take a leap of faith.
Then you'll see, no matter how hard it gets. We can never let it stop us from moving forward.
Walking on cloud nine.
With her head in the clouds, her feet are slowly loosing their grip.
Her love was like that of a wild flower, beautiful but exotic.
So raw and untouched, she was the only flower in the field who had yet to be plucked.
Her eyes had the depth of an entire ocean within them, they carried a storm no one knew how to tame.
Her eyes were so busy looking at the clouds that she didn't realize, she was falling.
Falling for the first time, without no warning.
She was staring into eyes much like her own, eyes carrying a depth of secrets waiting to be explored.
With a love almost as wild as her own.
Carrying a spark of it's own, pulling her in.
No reason to resist she follow the fall.
Woke up with the alarm, the sound of the sirens ringing through my ears.
Dreamland slowly fading...
Sending chills down my spine.
Kisses on the neck.
Fluttering butterflies in my stomach.
Rises with the fire in my heart.
A steady beat like 1, 2, 3, 4.
My heart sings it's own melodies.
Questions, don't ask them.
Let the feeling slowly fade.
I'm a slave to your games.
Like a wake up call your words make me try so much harder then i ever did before.
Because of you i want to be better then i ever was before.
You make me try harder, for myself so that i can do even better in life.
I always thought i had to prove myself to them, but the way i was thinking was all wrong.
I needed to show myself, still need to show myself that im still in the game.
Good or bad, im in.
I realise it's still "only" march but im still feeling a bit anxious because the days are getting warmer and the sun is staying out longer.
Summer is on the way, so i feel the stress from both the school and the people around me.
But what i hate is when people that are doing worse then i am starts to complain to me.
But i know better, just continue to walk my own path.
Get myself to school, so i can have that attendance when i go out and prepare for the last year in school.
One last summer, one last time.
Then it's time to get myself some good work so i can take that year and go where i want to be the most.
The places i want to go, the people i want to meet.
The family i miss.
So i only hope that this also will be the last year i have mathematics..
I do have all the time in the world, but not with school.
Not with the people i love.
Nor the people i so desire to meet.
Time may just swoop in and crash all that i built.
I want to go to Ireland to meet the lovely Brona.
I want to go to Germany to meet cute and kind Zoe
I want to go to Norway, for so many reasons.
I want to go to Chile to my missed and so kind sister Llawén.
I want to go to the city that never sleeps.
I want to go to London.
I just want to see the world.
With someone or by myself.
But a sight you can never see again is most loved by two.
So let's just hope and wait.
I have all the tools and knowledge i need to rise.
So let's watch me rise.
We always think there's gonna be more time, then it runs out.
Walking down the path of ruin, will i ever wake up.
I'll always return to the ruin.
But i can feel my mind slowly slipping away.
"Welcome to my mind..."
Some girls want a happy ending with their fairy prince, i want a life where i can be free from the chains of society.
One part of me just want to have a good time while walking this road.
The other part of me just want someone to share the road with.
But oh i'll never be just like them other girls.
Never need to look in the mirror twice to check my make up or fix a push up bra.
Some may think im going under, but oh im just measuring the depth of the ocean.
Im ready to run, walk or hide.
But i won't do that.
Just standing here watching time go round and round.
Because i just am
No need to define who i am.
I know i haven't always been the good girl.
We all have made mistakes.
But trust me when i say that i will reach impossible heights.
Don't judge me for what i've said or done in the past.
Watch me for who i am today.
Yes i have been just one of those girls trying to fit in.
But i am not that girl.
Throwing away your insecurites takes courage.
Because we hide behind them and let them define us.
Instead i will take my flaws and be proud over them.
There is no one exactly like you out there.
That's why each and everyone of us is unique in our own ways.
Love yourself, never ever forget to love yourself.
As long as this heart continues to beat i'll be standing here waiting.
Not for life, not for love, but for myself.