Hello fellow Joe/Jane's

I hope you all have had a great week.. My weeks have just got interesting. I have just started my new online degree with the open university. The degree is in Business Management with Marketing. Its really interesting actually believe it or not I have actually missed, studying. I am also a week away from starting my personal training course which I am dead excited about finally starting to pursue a career which I will enjoy and hopefully be very good at.. See I have try and failed at many different careers before heading down the path I am currently walking down and this got me thinking does a failure always have to be a negative out come?

And that my fellow reader is what I am going to discuss this week..


What is a failure

So according to our very trusted website Wikipedia failure is the sate or condition of not meeting desirable or intended objective and maybe considered the opposite of success. ( little fact- the word ordinated in 1635-1645; from the words fail + ure , replacing the word Failer a default Anglo-French noun for old French failllr )

So I am pretty sure that somewhere in our lives we have set out to achieve a goal or objective and for some reason or not, we haven't quite got there. I know I have. Last year I decided to move to Milton Keynes to pursue a career in Recruitment, In the process I left my amazing girlfriend of 3 years at the time behind and set of on this new journey, The journey started of quite well , I got promoted to full recruitment consultant quite quickly. I was making new friends and I was starting to enjoy myself quiet a bit. (some would say a bit to much). I thought to my self finally I am on my way to being successful and achieving my life goal. However as you might of guessed by now, It all came crashing down. I got sacked from the job for not hitting target found another job got sacked again lost my girlfriend and was left with nothing. See I had moved down to achieve my objective and I didn't reach it , so that to me is considered a failure.

However I was the only person calling it a failure (apart from the ex, who cant really complain because she is now living it up in America. ). No one else ever called it a failure and that's the problem we all go through. We hold such high standard that anything but achieving the end goal is considered a disappointed. This links what I have said previously in my blog on fear of failure. because we have failed at one objective we become afraid to try it again, and even worse become afraid to try anything new, just in case we don't reach it and end being a disappoint all over again. Which I am sure you can admit , isn't a nice feeling.


However not everything we do can be consider a failure. In fact you know what I going to put it out there, NOITHING we do can be consider a failure,. You just need to look at it from a different angle or some else's perspective

For example I moped about for months thinking of my self as a failure after my move to Milton Keynes, and then one day, I just decided to look at it from a different angle. I got sacked from my two jobs down there however I am now about to progress into in career that I wouldn't of even thought of doing if I was still in the job that I was in Milton Keynes. So if you look at that from some else's angle, in that situation, I learnt what I don't want to do and what I am not good at and that's what life is about experiencing failures, and learning from it.

So lets use this theory it our 3 main aspects of life:

Health/Fitness- You failed to reach your weight loss goal? What you going to do? just give up. Think that you are not capable of losing weight. No look at it from another angle. You still lost some weight, you still got off your arse and attempted to get in to better shape, that is a success you either just need to learn about different methods or you just need to be patient..

Career- Your got passed up on the promotion or you failed to get the job. You still managed to get yourself in contention to be considered for the job/promotion. Which is more that can be said for other people. It might just me that your not quite ready,. Or you just need to learn more. Even the fact, you might be destined for bigger things, Just wait and be patient you don't know what's around the corner.

Relationships- You relationship ended or your failed to get the guy or girl. Yet again you tried, it doesn't mean you should just give up because it didn't work out. Doesn't mean your destined to be alone, and that every other relationship isn't going to work out, Its just mean that you might try a little harder next time or the guy/girl was a dick.. It was still a success because you still tried and had the ability to get yourself into a relationship.

Not every decision your ever make is a failure because every decision was right at the time and every decision you ever made creates your future accomplishments.

So there you have it Joes/Jane's . Don't let your so called failures hold you back , you will end up regretting it. and that's the true failure. FAILURE- It can destroy you or it can make you so freakin' mad that you work even harder to become the winner that you know you are.

I hope this has motivated. to you to make a change and turn your 'Failure's into success's'

This will be the last post for a few weeks whilst I concentrate on my new website, and my pt course but I will be back,.

Please follow me on all my social media sites, as I do these post/rants on a daily base's, @vegetrain

Until next time speak to you soon

Peace out

Move your blog to Nouw - now you can import your old blog - click here!

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Over the past week, I have started reading a book call Black Hole Focus by Dr Isaiah Hankel PhD. Its a self help book, that teaches you and gives you tips on how to become more focus, fulfilled and successful. One of the main points the book talks about is your purpose in life and why it is important. So that's what I am going to talk about today. What I have learnt from the book so far and how you can find your purpose.

Hello Fellows Joe's/Jane's

I hope you had a fabulous week and your are ready to tackle the coming weeks. Well just in case, your not here is thus weeks entry of the Monday Motivator.

But before I go into that, I know last week that I said that I will be switching to wordpress. It will be happening, however I want it to be perfect before I advertise it. So for now I will be carrying on here.

The definition of purpose is " The reason for which something is done, created or exists," Its also "person's sense of resolve and determination."

So without getting to religious and deep, there has to be more to life than being born and dying right? I mean we are now intellectual beings, capable of achieving great things in life. So why is it that people just go day by day just breathing and not achieving their true potential?

We all have times in our lives that we can feel purpose-less, this can be after the freshness of a new job fades away or after the excitement off a new relationships goes away. For me I felt like I lost my purpose when. I lost my job the first time around. I just felt like all my goals and ambitions had been taken away from me and I had had no I idea what I was suppose to do now?

See I think most people don't realise how important having a purpose actually is. IA studied conducted by the British medical Journal on people that retired at the age of 55 and 65, found that people that retired sooner actually died earlier. Also those that retired at the age of 55 were actually 37% more likely to die 10 years later than those who retired ten years later. Obviously there are many factors to why this is. However one of those factors was the fact that when they retired earlier they lost there purpose for living, what were they suppose to do now. One things that can be said however is that there is a potential link between purpose and longevity!

So How Can you find and furfil your purpose?

So as your might already know I am still trying to find my purpose and my reason for living, So it would be wrong of me to try and tell you how to find your purpose why I am still discovering mine. However I am a allot closer to finding it than I have ever been, So what I will do is give you the same tips that are working form me.

1. Ruthlessly evaluate your current position- You are where your are because of actions that you have decided to make, not because of anyone else. You need to sit down a WRITE what these actions are and why you took them. This will hopefully help you come up with a plan on how to avoid making the same mistakes again.

2. Give your purpose a name- Right it down give it identity. What this does is makes it real, by giving it a name you can give it a story. By giving it a story you can start to imagine yourself in that position, This in tern will give a hidden drive.

3. Find your Core Priorities- Allot of the time we find that we have lost our purpose and drive because we find ourselves doing things that aren't helping get where we want to be, Instead of spending a night in and saving money. We are going out and not achieving much but a banging headache and another wasted day. So what you should do is write down you 6 core priorities that are linked to your goals.


Right then guys , I realise that this is quite a short post. but like said I am still on my journey to finding my purpose. But I believe that it is important to tell you how important it is to find a reason for living, I will be writing a follow up post. Don't you worry,

As always guy's I appreciate your support and all your feedback , So please drop me a message all my social media is @vegetrain

Also follow me on snap for daily motivation stories which is also @vegetrain or just scan the SNAP CODE below :)

Peace out!!

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Hello Fellow Joe's and Jane's

I hope you all have had a great weekend and welcome to this weeks entry of the Monday Motivator. However before we start I just want to make a quick announcement, this will be my last entry using this website. Although I do love the way this website is set out. Its not giving me the exposure I require. This is because I have just realised that it is a Scandinavians site. I will be switching to word press. I will be importing all my blogs over. So that is why I have decided to do this now before I write to many and it gets harder to import. So anyway I hope I will see yo over there.


So on Thursday I was watching my snap chat story, and Jamie Alderton's (AKA, Grenade Jay), pops up, and he starts dropping his standard morning knowledge bombs. This morning he decide to talk about lessons learnt from "the last lecture", a book I have yet to read. He discusses the importance of tenacity and not giving up.

So that's my inspiration behind this post and I am going to write about the importance of tenacity and why it is better than persevering. I am also going to look into why we stop progressing and why I believe this can be down to persistence and banging our heads against the same brick wall. I am also going to try and give you some tips on how to become more tenacious.


So what is Tenacity?

Tenacity quite simply put is "is the quality or fact of being able to grip something firmly' (Latin for tenācitās equivalent to tenāc-holding fast, derivative of tenēre to hold).

Its also about having determination to never give up, until we have reached our end goal what ever that might be. For example. Winston Churchill , you know the guy that famously led Great Britain and our allies to a victory in World war two, Well it wasn't an easy ride to for the Prime minister who was given a state funeral in 1965.He failed the entrance exam for the Royal Military College (twice). He then hit a rocky patch in his political career (known as his 'wilderness years') between 1929 and 1939, during which time he was estranged from his political party over ideological disagreements. But did he give up, thank heaven no he did not. He kept going trying over and over again until reached he goal of becoming Prime Minister at the age of 62.

Vera Wang’s path to becoming the insanely successful designer she is today was hardly conventional. First, Wang — who was a competitive figure skater in her youth she actually failed to make the 1968 U.S Olympic Figure skating team. Thankfully for fashion fans, this failure prompted Wang to take a job as an assistant at Vogue in 1971, where she was promoted to senior fashion editor within a year at 23. After 15 years with the magazine, Wang was ultimately passed over for the editor-in-chief position. But she ended up exactly where she needed to be and is now an incredibly successful and iconic fashion designer. It’s hard to even think of wedding attire without her name coming up. Vera is the perfect example of being tenacious, she failed at the Olympics' however she didn't give up all together, chose to continue to try and become successful, just down a different path. She could of persevered, in the hope that she would one day reach her goal, however , that might not of gotten her anywhere. We all know Einstein famous quote right?


So why aren't we Tenacious and give up easily ?

They are many reasons in to why we don't achieve our goal. but I want to concentrate on to main points.

1. It Gets to hard

2. We Struggle to adapt,

So the first point "its gets to hard" In most cases when we first try something new our expectations are low and we find tasks relatively easy to complete. When we start a new job we are still training so there is no pressure on ourselves, when we start to lose weight, we find ourselves dropping the pounds very quickly, this is because of the fact that our bodies are adapting to something new. However the very second we have a little bit of pressure on us, or the weight loss , slows down we stop. the main cause to this I believe is down to what I like to call the "Thought Bully" also known as procrastination. We talk ourselves out of the hard tasks and straight into the easy ones. Instead of thinking I will read that book or doing an extra bit of work we choose to go on a phones and play candy crush or watch TV or instead of making the healthy meal or doing a bit of meal prep for the week we order a takeaway because it is easier, Simples. Procrastination is not only flawed in the short run, but also majorly flawed in the long run as you end up experiencing more pain, not to mention more lost opportunities, for example research has shown that people who take ages to get into a cold pool suffer more physiological discomfort than those who just get it over with.

The second point, we struggle to adapt. People who lack the tenacious trait, don't know how to get over the wall when the ladder is taken away. They are so narrow minded and we see the end goal, only have path to get there, and when that path gets blocked we just give up, there is no plan B. For example when people that are on the weightwatchers or slim fast diet, lose allot of weight in the beginning, but our body being the extremely thing that it is, gets used to the calorific deficit that you are currently going through and you reach a plateau. So this creates a hurdle and most of the time we stop and this point so instead of thinking of a new diet or tweaking the current diet, we take the easy way out and reach for that excuse to stop.

So Errol How do I become more Tenacious?

Before I give you some advice that is working for me, I want to give you a quick biology lesson and to do this I want to introduce you to, two basic brain structures.

The amygdala- This is forms part of what is know as the limbic system a set of evolutionary primitive brain structures involved in many of our emotions and motivations, for example fear, anger and pleasure, It is the part of the brain where big and instant decisions are made such as fight or flight. It wields allot of power, however like most things with allot of power, it is open to corruption and if it finds situation to painful or hard it can be persuaded to take the easy route. Dream, instead of do.

The Prefrontal Cortex- This is a relative new build and is responsible for the heightened self control, that separates us from our ancients ancestors and the rest of the animal kingdom,. This part of the brain that tells us that we should be working and studying instead of watching the tv, Its allows us to plan, weigh up different courses of action and refrain from responding to immediate impulses and doing the things that well probably regret later this is high in tenacious people.

When we are attempting to do task we sometimes feel there is a argument going on in our heads, thats because there is,  it's between our good rational side and our bad emotional side, and nine times out of ten our bad side wins. This can be down to the thought bully, our thoughts that make us take the easy way out. Just like all bullies the only way to stop them is, is to stand up to them and this is how I believe we do it.

1. Visualize what you want to do- Imagine yourself at the end goal, a slimmer and healthier person, someone at the top of their game, This will enable you to get used to the idea and the more you get used to it the more you will be disappointed that you are not there yet , just like I said in my last post we all hate disappointment, so we should try harder to get there and become more successful.

2. Analyse your goal- By analysing your goal you will not only come up with a plan on how to reach it, you will also be able to find anything that makes you reluctant to attempt it in the first place,. and once you put your finger on that you should be able to work through it.

3.Focus on the future- we tend to fold in the face of immediate challenges and opt for short-term pleasure instead of long-term gain. So next time you find yourself putting that tasks off, think of the pain that future you is going through because you didn't do it now.

4.Set time to yourself- Set up a period of time in advance that you spend on achieving your goal, for example turn off your phones and read a book or go for a walk for exactly 1 hour not 59 minutes or 61 minutes. This will make sure you not only work towards you end goal it will make you achieve mini goals making you feel good about yourself.

5. Stop chasing perfection- We often wait to start something because we want that perfect moment, well guess what its never going to come. Its just another excuse, We also set our standards to high, by doing the we can end up being defeated before we even start. but surely its better to get it done than to fail perfectly.

Just remember this wont be easy, but just think of why you started in the first place.

Well there you goes guys that's the end of this weeks Monday Motivator. I hope it helps.

Please let me know what you think by leaving me a comment or tweet me.

Also for more motivational quotes on a daily basis, follow my snap chat and Instagram

All social media is @vegetrain

Remember this blog is for you

The Concept - Happy to Help, Happy to Share

Peace


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So as you have probably guessed, this week I am going to talk about fear and how I believe that we use it as an excuse to stop ourselves from moving forward and achieving our true potential and how we can use fear to our strength.


HelloFellow Joes/Janes

Welcome back to this week’s entry of the #mondaymotivator. I hope that you enjoyed last week’s post and found it helpful. Yet again thank you to everyone that keeps coming back to read my blogs, and to all those that have shown me support. I am always looking to learn and improve myself, so if you have any advice that I can use to make this blog better, please get in touch, will leave my details atthe end of the post.


What is fear?

Fear is an unpleasant response to physical or emotional danger. It is required to protect ourselves from a legitimate threat.It also means to be afraid of someone or something that is likely to be painful or harmful.

We often fear situations that are far from life or death. Traumas or bad experiences can also trigger a fear response.

Fear is a vital emotion that is required to protect ourselves from our surroundings, however as time has passed we have made this emotion more complexed than is really necessary. Our fears have become weird and absurd. I believe that fear is stopping us from truly living our lives. Just because for example someone gets hit by lightning doesn’t mean we should never go outside in a thunderstorm.



We also use fear as an excuse not to do something, not to progress and move forward and here are what I believe some of the main reasons could be,

Disappointment-This is a negative feeling that is sometimes followed by regret. We fear disappointment because it might not meet our expectations, so we want to avoid that feeling of dissatisfaction.

The Unknown- The fear of the unknown is easily explained like this: the mind tells us that in order to move forward, we must know what is waiting for us, because “if I know, then I can control the situation, and if I don't know, then I am not in control”. This second part is what scares us the most, because control is what establishes a measurement that we can use to manipulate the result of our actions. And when we don’t like what is different, this is simply because we can neither understand it, nor have a plan to control it beforehand.

Failure- Now this fear rules over all our actions and decisions. We all do, and don’t do, things in order to avoid failure. Failure can be a lot of things; realizing you don't live your life the way you wanted to, not succeeding in your plans, finding yourself helpless, or in the worst cases even hitting rock-bottom.

All these reasons hold us back, and stop us from being who we truly are. They are all completely and unnecessary excuses.

1. Fitness and health- I am afraid to go to the gym because I might not lose weight or people might laugh at me, because I might fail at an exercise. Or I can’t pick the salad, because everyone else has pick the fries and I don’t want to be different to everyone else. But what you are basically saying you’re afraid to live a healthy lifestyle and possible live longer to spend time with your loved ones?

2. Career-You are afraid to ask for that pay rise or promotion, because you will end up disappointed if they say no. Or you’re afraid that if you start your own business it might fail. However you are basically saying that you are afraid you might get that promotion or you might succeed and you would rather sit back in the shadows and struggle to pay your bills and put food on your table.

3. Relationships/friendship-You are afraid to go and meet new people because they might not like you. She/he could say no. You’re afraid that they will reject you. Or they might not live up to your expectations, so you would rather live alone and unhappy.



All these lead to one thing and one thing only guys and girls. That is the feeling of regret. Which is far worse than the feeling of fear. See fear passes eventually, regret doesn’t. You could end up on your death bed regretting your entire life, because you were too afraid. You say you’re scared of the unknown, but surely sitting there and thinking “what if” is the same as the unknown. What you people need to realises that being afraid unknown, disappointment and failure, can also lead to the unknown, disappointment and failure.



But fellow Janes and Joes, there is hope, I am going to let you into a little secret, whenwe come into this world we are born with two fears, that’s the fear of fallingand the fear of loud noises. Every other fear is learnt as we grow up.Therefore we can learn not to be afraid. The only way to move past these fearsis to expose yourself to your personal demons and attack them because if youdon’t they will just consume you.

So how doI use my fears to my strengths you ask? Firstly you need to accept you’reafraid, you can do this by writing it down or tell someone about it. This willmake your fears real and also gives you accountability. By telling someoneyou’re going to do something, you have to do it, because if you don’t, thatdisappointment that you’re afraid of, will be staring right back at you. Youcan always ignore disappointment when no one knows, but when someone tells youthat they are disappointed. You generally feel like shit. Just remember thosewords we all dread hearing “I am not angry I am just disappointed.” Secondlytake yourself out of your comfort zone. The only way you can truly move pastyour fears is by testing yourself. For example if you’re scared of asking thatgirl/guy out. Start by just saying hi to a random person. Something small justto build your confidence up. Then eventually start having a couple ofconversations with someone on social media. Just little steps that you can taketo build yourself up. Finally Reward yourself, we all love a little treat nowand then right? So if there is a pair of shoes you really want to buy. Don’t bythem until you have surpassed your fear. So if you afraid to go to the gym,don’t buy the shoes until you have been to the gym for two weeks straight. Whatthis will do is act as a positive re-enforcement, and eventually when you havebrought them shoes you will not only looked good but you will proud andpositive that you have manage to overcome your fear.

You willhave to remember overcoming fear is going to hurt, they will be ups there willbe downs. But pain is progress. By being afraid of failure you are saying thatyou are afraid to succeed. Don’t be afraid to be different. Don’t be afraid tostand out from the crowd and rise above them all.

To beafraid of the future, because of what happened in the past, you will lose what youhave in the present.


Leave a comment below, email me or tweetme, all social media content is @vegetrain , Also feel free to email me epsamuel14@icloud.com

And remember if you have anything you wantto discuss let me know. This blog is for you.

The Concept- Happy to Help, to share andto promote your success.

Peace out.


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Hello fellow Joes/Janes

I hope your all ok. As promised here is this week’s entry for #mondaymotivation. But before we get into that. I would just like to say a massive thank you for all the support a received after last week’s post. It was amazing. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting it but the positivity it received was exceptional. I hope it helped anyone out there that went through or is currently going through the same as me. So, thank you, it means more than you will ever truly know.

Now my old man to me is a very inspirational guy. He’salways coming out with different sayings and philosophies to help me and mysister achieve the best we could in life. But there has always been one sayingand philosophy that has always stuck out to me.

I remember one day I came home from school when I was inyear 10 and written on my notice board, which was an old converted pool table score board, were the words “Youonly get out, what you put in therefore you only have one person to blame. Workhard now and retire when you 45 and enjoy your life, you only get out what youput in therefore you only have one person to blame.” Those words stayed on thatnotice board for the next 3 or so years, until I left home and even though Ihave no I idea where that notice board is. Those words will always be imprintedon to my mind

Now I would be lying to you if I said that I always followedthat I always followed that saying because if I did I wouldn’t be in thesituation that I am on now I would be allot further down that line towards mygoal.

So many people out there are sat on their backsides expecting success, money and the perfect life to come to them. They look at other people and think “their lucky to be where they are or I wish I was like them” No they are not lucky one bit, I can guarantee that they went out there and got it. They didn’t sit at home moaning and winging, they put and are still putting the effort in to making sure there life is a success. Let’s take Michael Jordon for example, Michael Jordan was not always destined to become an NBA player, let alone an NBA superstar, Growing up, Michael was viewed as the ‘goofy’ kid who liked basketball. He wasn’t very tall and didn't come from an athletic family. But he was determined. Michael had many setbacks and failures but his hard work eventually paid off. “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed”. -Michael Jordan, when Michael first entered the league, his jump shot was not good enough. So he spent his off season practicing hundreds of jump shots every day until they were perfect. In High school, Michael was even rejected from the basketball team. It's hard to believe right? But every day he got up early and put the effort in, and what did he get in return, the right to be called one of greatest sports players of all time. We all know Steven Spielberg as one of the most famous film makers in history. But did you ever consider how he got to be where he is? Steven was highly determined and knew what he wanted from a young age. So, he took every opportunity he could to grow as a film maker and gain valuable knowledge from others. Can you believe that he even snuck into a filming of a real movie at the age of seventeen while on a tour at Universal Studios? After that, he spent his summers meeting directors, writers and editors and learning from every conversation he had. Steven had many challenges along the way including being rejected by the University of California of Cinematic Arts (his dream school)multiply times. But that didn’t stop him from reaching his dream. It wasn't luck that got Steven where he is today, but rather hard work and a never dying commitment to making his dream a reality. Don’t worry Jane's I won’t leave the women out. We all know who JK Rowling, the creator of those Harry Potter films ;), Well after she move back to England after her divorce, she was penniless, a period in which she describes as “rock bottom "instead of sitting around and moping about, she finished her Harry Potter books, and sent them out to several publishers, and got rejected sever time and even got told not to quit her day job. But after continuing to put the effort she is now richer than the queen.


This philosophy can be applied to all areas on life.

1. In fitness/health. Some people seem to think that the weight is just going to fall off or muscle is just going to appear out of now where like magic and when it doesn’t they find something to blame. “Oh I am just naturally a heavy person” Bollock’s!!!! This might me true is some cases', but in most cases’ your just lazy and have fast cake hands. You haven’t put the effort in, you have snoozed your alarm instead if going to the gym or you have had that take away because it’s easier and quicker than cooking!!

2. In your career. The chances are you are not where you want to be because you are not willing to put the work in to get there. You arrive at 9 on the dot and leave dead on 5:30 and when you are at work, you’re a spending time chatting shit to workmates instead of working, but more importantly you’re probably not investing anytime in to improving your work knowledge. Instead of going home and reading books or watching videos on how to become better at what you do, your sat in front of the TV watch the latest episode of game of thrones and when the other guy or girls getting promoted, it’s because he has a brown tongue or she’s good at giving head yeah!?

3. Relationships/Friends. You have no friends or can’t get a girlfriend or boyfriend because people just don’t understand you right, they just don’t get your sense of humour and you’re “unique”. It’s definitely not because sit inside playing your PlayStation, instead of going out and it’s definitely not because you haven’t called or text them right, no it’s because of they didn’t call you right? Yeah ok then, you carrying on saying that to yourself!!

Now what do all those situations have in common (Apart from them being my old excuse’s!!) They all require you to put the effort it to get something back out. You are not going to lose weight or get fit sat on your arse watching TV. You need to get your arse out of bed and workout. Now that’s doesn’t mean spending shit loads of money on a gym and new equipment. No it means go for a walk or a run, you know all that free stuff you can do and stop eating the cake. Spend two hours of you week prepping food, if you’re too busy to make a meal every day, I mean hopefully your cooking a couple times a week, well just make a bigger batch and freeze it SIMPLE. Not where you want be in your career. Go to work earlier, leave later and work harder. Research ways to become better at what you do. The brain is a muscle it needs exercise, I have heard Jon Snow can do allot of thing but he can’t get you that promotion or pay raise!! We have this amazing thing call the internet, it has all of this amazing information at the touch of a button. You’re literally using it right now reading this blog!!


Guys and gals if you’re not willing to put the effort in, then don’t expect things to happen for you. And definitely don’t complain when you're lying on your death bed with regrets. There is only one person to blame, it’s not the government , it’s not the immigrant that’s moved next door that stole your job, and it’s certainly not her fault that she willing to give a cheeky blow job to the director at lunch! It’s your fault. Can you honestly say they have put 110% into everything you I doubt it because if you did you have you would of read this far.

Now stop being a whining bitch and go and get that promotion, Go and lose that weight and go and get the girl/ boy and always remember

“YOU ONLY GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN, THEREFORE YOU ONLY HAVEONE PERSON TO BLAME!!!”

So there you have it people, A little Motivation to get you going the Monday

Leave a comment below, email me or tweet me, all social media content is @vegetrain

And remember if you have anything you want to discuss let me know. This blog is for you .

The Concept- Happy to Help, to share and to promote your success.

Peace out.


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Hello Fellow Joes/Jane's (yeah decided to change the females to Jane's instead it sounds a bit better)

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote a post I have been busy trying to find myself and starting a new journey, but right now I am making a pact that I will post one blog a week It will be called the#MondayMotivator in which I will discuss any experiences anything motivational to get you started for the week

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Today’s post I am going to write about my depression and how I am overcoming it. The reasonbeing is for accountability and to help others overcome it. Yet again before we start these points are my own and I am notsaying what I did will work for everyone but it may give you the starting pointto overcome it. First of all depression, now Ibelieve the meaning and the seriousness of this word has lost meaning overtime. You know you hear it all the time “oh he’s off withdepression again” or “she is “depressed “again” ”. Well you never actually knowladies and gents, 9 time’s out 10 it probably is the case that they areactually depressed and struggling with their lives and by making that slycomment you might of just made their situation worse, in their time of need, trust me I know. See because we have now demeaned the word depression, some people who suffer withit are scared to talk about it and cease to seek the help which they need.



It was about 5 years ago that I Attempted to take my life a moment which still haunts me to this day. I am not going go in to details about the entire situation because it involves a situation that is too personal, but basically what happened I was out ona night out after work and we started to talk about my situation and how to fixit, so when it was mixed with alcohol I reached such a euphoric high that there was no way this plan wasn’t going to work, yep you guessed it in fact not even close and when it didn’t my emotions came down to a crashing halt. It made me instantly feel that I didn’t want to behere anymore. I used to hear voices in my head, when I say voices it was just myself giving up, they used to tell me that I should just give up and no one would miss me. So at that point I decided to get on my 125cc and ride to the nearest bridge. I stood on the edge and I was ready to go, I even remember moving tothe middle as it was the furthest away from the ground and there was more chance of me dying and not just leaving myself paralysed which would have been worse from me. Even though every part of me was ready to go, I had this urge to say goodbye to my best mate at the time so I called him, this wasn’t for any sympathy vote or anything like that, and it was just to make sure someone would understand. So I was on the phone to him long enough for an ambulance and thepolice to drag me back over, I have no idea who called them, but thanks too whoever it was and Sam you are the reasons I am alive today.

Now I was taken to Wrexham hospital, and believe it or not I was discharged within half an hour and just left to find my own way home with no money or anything. They Just blamed it on the alcohol and I was just some young immature 21 year striving for attention. And to be honest with you I think that’s what I Convinced myself it was. Just the alcohol. It wasn’t up until a couple ofweeks ago when I tried to take my life again, that it wasn’t me striving for attention it was me calling out for help, and to no fault of anyone’s, no one noticed.


I had just moved back up from Manchester after getting sacked from my second job in a matter of a year. I was lying in my bed thinking where did it go wrong. A year ago I was starting a fresh in MiltonKeynes, new career my own freedom everything was going right. I thought I was doing ok in both my jobs. But I was lying there 2 months off turning 27 with nothing no friends, no career prospects, no job no money nothing…… I had nothing I was officially at what I thought was rock bottom, so I got drunk,googled the best way to end your life which apparently was paracetamol (luckilyI miss read it as it was sleeping tablets and paracetamol overdose can just lead to aslow and painful death due to what it does to your liver). I took 2 packets of16 tablets with 4 cans of bud and a bottle of wine, wrote the text message that would be saved to my phone ready for someone to realise why I did it and I Slowly but surely drifted off to sleep thinking finely this pain would be overthe thoughts the hurt and disappointment that I was would be all gone………. And then I woke up sober and in tears and more than anything disappointed that it was something else I was shit at, it was ok though I will just try again at somepoint fuck it and something came over me that I had never really felt before I Felt fear. After being sick all day I decided to call 111 and they sent an ambulance out to me. Scared I lied to everyone and said I had done it by mistake eventually I admitted to the hospital team that I had done it on purpose and how I was feeling and they sent a psychiatrist down to me and the first thing she said to me was itsok it happens to the best of us.

I don’t know why but for some reason those words felt like such a relief to hear, I had always thought what was wrong with me, why can’t I be like everyone else, why can’tI be happy, why do I feel so low and to hear it was normal was just unreal.



We spoke about my feelings and thoughts since the first time I tried taking my life. I Explained I felt worthless most days and how I would just cry for no reason sometimes and how I just really didn’t want to be here anymore. She just sat there and listened and this was the first time I had managed to open up to someone sober and for someone to just listen to what I had tosay. She didn’t judge or think “oh god here's another one” she just listened and to be honest itwas just what I needed. She explained to me that no one had noticed that I had been suffering with some sort of depression since the first time I tried to take my life and that I was never really shown how to recover from it, I was just sent on my way and made to deal with it myself. Which as some of you will know is hard to doespecially if you don’t know what is wrong. She explained that it is possible to get better,I just needed to except first of all I needed help and second of all there was nothing wrong me it was normal. She gave me some leaflets and a letter to book an appointment to see a counsellor, and her number just in case I need help and couldn't get hold of anyone else. I left there with hope not allot of hope because the next few days were the hardest asI was getting rejected job after job, but I got through it and I am here today to tell my story to you guys and this is how


It can be summarised in to five basic steps really,

1. I spoke to someone about it, this was seen to me as an acceptance that it was “Normal”

2. I wrote ajournal a place where all my feelings could be wrote down

3. I set goals and targets to look forward too and steps to help me achieve them.

4. I started working out more, it has been know that working out can help improve your mood.

5. I see this as the most important step of the all, I stopped comparing my life to others.

Now I am going to go into step five a little more. When I say that I stopped comparing myself to others I mean it in two ways really. Firstly I mean itthe way that I was always looking at other people’s lives and think why I am not in their situation,why are they so much better off than I am. I work just as hard but yet theyhave it all compared to me. Just stop it, just because they may seem happy doesn't mean they always are and if you want what they have go and get it.Secondly stop comparing your illness to everyone else’s. I always used to think that I wasn’t depressed because I hadn’t gone as far other people, or I was just weird and attention seeking, there are allot of people out there worse than me etc. but the truth is so what, yeah theirs might be more severe on the outside, but your thoughts are what’s affecting you and your life not theirs. So to you, your depression is worse and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. No one really knows what goes on in your own head and only you can sort it out. The first step is just accepting.

I did, and although I still have my down days where I feel low and want to cry even now there is a tear runningdown my face as I remind myself of what I have been through. I don’t let it get to me as much I am allot stronger than I was before. I now have targets and goals to look forward to, friends and family that care for me. I am now fitter than I have ever been, I am more confident than I have ever been. I mean I am writing blog and I regular appear on snap chat and I am even looking to start my own business, I mean I would never of done that 2-3 years ago.

I guess thatwhat this post is about, I am not trying to preach and pretend I know what you're going through, or that I am an expert. I just want to let you know that no matter what you get through it there is light at the end of the tunnel

Anyway that's enough for one day. If you are struggling with depression, or anything at all.Get in touch I am happy to talk and help…… it will all be kept anonymousand just  remember not matter how bad things get and when you think you can’t get any lower. You can recover and you can survive, you just have to accept it.


So there you have it people, My story finally told, If you struggling with depression or anything and would like to discuss it further just email me, I will be more than happy to help you talk it out, 

Leave a comment below, email me or tweet me, all my details can be found in my bio.

And remember if you have anything you want to discuss let me know. This blog is for you .

The Concept- Happy to Help, to share and to promote your success.

Peace out.

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Hi Fellow Joe/Josephine's, Welcome back to the Concept.

In this weeks post we are going to look at men and their emotions and are men seen as weak if we cry . I also going to discuss if the role of the 'Man' has it changed in society or do they put to much pressure on themselves.

I have had some quality discussions this week in regards to this. I have had email from Ryan the founder of Order of man. Ryan runs a weekly podcast where he interviews different men, and teaches people on how to become a better man.

I have also had a discussion with a friend of mine Annie Winn, which was absolutely amazing, it was great to see this view from a women's perspective and honestly I am looking forward to having many more conversations, I could of talked for hours. Also my buddy Sammie who has a very strong opinion on this matter.

So here we go..............


I have recently become a single man and the difference with that relationship compared to some of my past ones is the fact that I opened up allot more. I was able to talk more about my issue's and anything that was going on in my head at the time and my struggles. But the problem was that every time I did cry or show some emotion I always felt like I was being weak and I was less of what is considered a man. I felt a slight judgement and she thought that I wasn't able to protect and provide for her (not to any fault of her's it was my issues). I guess it has made me question if I should do the same in the future or maybe I should close up and keep problems to my self, and act more manly hence the reason behind this post.

Now the concept of man according to Ryan is 'someone who takes personal accountability and responsibility over himself and those he is obligated to be responsible for. Also, he is someone who protects, provides, and presides over himself, his family, his neighbours, and his community' As a man myself I also judge myself of physical strength, my financial status and the power I have.

But where do men's emotions fit into this. I means lets face it how often do you see a man cry?(apart from footballers, but lets face it are they really men?).

Now Sammie believes that 'concept of masculinity is dependent on the oppression of women but in turn also puts men in a box where they can’t express themselves emotionally. Showing emotions is seen as weak, which is stupid because it should be completely normal for humans to show emotion. In some ways I agree, we do feel embarrassed to show emotion. The only emotion that we don't feel embarrassed to show is anger. In my opinion I don't just feel that this is down to women, I feel this is down to men and that we are slightly confused on how to act when we cry or show any of our feelings to any other men. We are a pussy and we call each other names and generally take the piss out of each other.

This is also a view shared by Annie she say's 'It's the competition of who's the biggest boy. Who's the toughest.. It's the competition between who can shag the most... And the jealousy of others, if someone does fall for an amazing bird that they'd do anything for, they're "whipped" .... Being"whipped" to a girl goes to prove that they care for us.' Which is completely true. However at the same time then why do some women also seem to judge us when we do cry. I mean some women do say they would love a man that can open up and show emotion, rather than just shut down and keep all our issues to ourselves, but when we do this they seem to push us away. Is this down to the fact that they not expecting it, because a man like that is down a pipe dream or is down to us men and our insecurities and the fact that we are confused by society to what a man actually is?

I honestly believe that it's down to pure confusion on both parts by both men and women. There is a whole misconception to what being a man actually is. Also its down to confusion to who we are and what our place is in society. With the pressure of social media every body thinks they are being judged and we are all trying to chase perfection. Instead of just being ourselves.

We should just open up, when we need to open up, cry when we want to cry, who gives a shit what any one else thinks. I believe that as men if we did just talk more about our feelings we would oppress allot less and therefore we would be allot less angry all the time. Male suicide is on the rise and part of this must be because we don't talk enough. We keep it all to ourselves and there is only so much the mind can take before we snap, and most of the time that's never a good thing.

I also asked Annie,

'If you get hurt physically or emotionally by another man on a night out what would you expect the man to do, go and find the guy to fight, or walk away?' which I think is an important question because we never know what really we should do. she says-

I'd like to think he'd stick up for me..........If I've just been disrespected by a guy, and I was with someone who wasn't bothered by that, then that would upset me. But if even if he showed hewas concerned, even a "who was it and what did he do". That would be good enough for me because he's shown concern at what happened. She also stated that she wouldn't complain if a guy broke some else's nose for her.

So there you have it guys next time your out think of that.


Thanks for reading this and a big thank you to Sammie, Ryan and Annie for your inputs. I couldn't of wrote this without you.

If you haven't so already go and check out Ryan's website its give a massive incite on how to be a man in today's society.

http://www.orderofman.com

So there you have it people. Let me know you thoughts and opinions, What do you feel about a man that shows their emotions?

Leave a comment below, email me or tweet me, all my details can be found in my bio.

And remember if you have anything you want to discuss let me know. This blog is for you .

The Concept- Happy to Help, to share and to promote your success.

Peace out.


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Hi Guys and girls welcome to my blog. I have had tumblr for a few years now but never really new how to use it properly. But then I decided fuck it lets this website ago. I am quite a random person and will just be talking about and writing about anything really. You will find out I am sure. But please bare with me I am totally new to this so it may take time, but trust me guys and gals it will be worth it. So watch this space, BTW got to put the standard, all views are my own , I am open to any discussions, just don’t be a complete douche bag ;)

What I am trying to is to make this a relatable as possible. You know we are going through a massive social media hype. I general believe that we are being shaped into what is seen as socially acceptable. We can now longer have an opinion with it being criticised or make you fell like it is completely wrong..

So my concept is to interview several just normal people and post them on here. So we cant start discussion without any pressure. No professional politicians or anyone else , just the average joe/Josephine. Also as you might me able to tell I am quiet the fitness freak, I love the gym. But yet again there is so much pressure from social media to look a certain way. People are actually making a living out of ripping us off, you know with the fitness plans, supplements etc. I used to be fat you know 15stone plus, I lost the weight to look good because that's the way I felt I needed to be, I was finding that even though hi consider myself quiet a nice, I still wasn't really getting any interest because I didn't have the abs or guns. Which yeah looking into was good, but is was for all the wrong reasons. I should of done it for me. I feel in the trap of spending hundreds on supplements, lost all the weight got the girl, lost the girl stopped going, now I have lost all the hard work that I put in. I now I have to start again and that because I didn't do it for me , I did it for society then I rebounded massively. But what i am going to differently this time and I will record on here is I now doing it for me and without spending shit loads of money on supplements in fact the only money I will spend is £10.99 on the gym, I cant workout outside, but that's just me. I mean people still got fit and ripped healthy way before this supplements became a massive hype and i am going to show you how. From the very beginning.

Any way that's enough waffling on for now. I don't want to bore you already. I need you guys. I hope you enjoyed reading about my concept. I am looking forward to hopefully starting some awesome discussions.

I appreciate that this first post is all over the place it will get better, please spread the word and help me get more followers

If you do want to be interviewed about any ideas that you have or even about a chat or advice as you will find out soon I have been through it all, , please email me or tweet me you can find my details on my home page, just bell me up or leave a comment below.

Peace out


Paul


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