my life is probably different from most. It hasnt been perfect. Some things i choose not to write about but some i want to share. I am 50% American 50% Swedish. I was born in a little town called Ängelholm. In fact it is so little that the hospital i was born at no longer has a delivery room. I moved to America when i was 9 years old. I remember crying my last day of school, saying goodbye to all my friends. They had all made me goodbye posters. I brought them with me and looked at them occasionally. The hardest part was saying goodbye to my Grandmother and my cousins. I remember looking over at my mom and seeing her cry for the first time. I couldnt hold back the tears. Theres something so sad in seeing a strong person breakdown.
Theres something about being half that always makes you feel incomplete. When im in Sweden im the American. When im in America Im the Swede. Ive always felt half as smart. I feel like i know half the language of each country. Even though i speak and understand them both fully, i wish i was more knowlegeable. I tried really hard to not have an accent becuase i hated it. I remember talking out loud and recording it on my phone and would try to correct everythig i said. My dad was American so we only spoke english with him. Once the years rolled by in America i started to forget my swedish. The english was getting really good, and my accent was no longer an issue. So i felt like i had to work on my Swedish. I was in extra reading classes when i first got there. I remember feeling so dumb. I hated going there. I was so emberassed. It helped alot though. I met an amzing tutor that helped me so much. Not only with school but with life. Didnt really have any friends at this point, i was really shy and didnt want people to hear my accent.
After a while of being in America i started to adapt more. The food that i once found disgusting i started enjoying. My mom tried everything to make us more comfortable. They built a pool and took us to Disney and Busch Gardens. Every summer we would go back to Sweden to visit, But as the trip was coming to an end, we would feel a sinking feeling in our stomach. The last day of our visit was the worst. We would usually leave early in the morning or middle of the night, But no matter the time my grandmother would wake up and say goodbye. Sometimes i wished she wouldnt, thinking it would be easier to leave. I hated seeing her cry. It breaks my heart to this day. Every goodbye we said, i ended it with "one day, when you get sick i will come back and take care of you".
I moved to Sweden when i was 18 by myself. I lived with my grandma and my cousin. The main reason i moved was becuase i was put into millitary school. I went there for two years. My parents didnt like the school i was zoned for, so they thought the better option was to send me to Summerlin Miliitary Academy. It was horrible. I had to wake up at 4:30 every morning. My bus arrived at 5 am and two and a half hours later, i arrived at school. We had 3 strict uniforms that they checked every moring. We had class A uniforms and Class B or C or D i dont even know what they were called. On fridays we were allowed to wear ACUS. They thought that was a treat letting us wear those. I guess they were a little more comfortable, but they were the most unflattering outfits ive ever worn. Your hair couldnt touch the coller. You werent allowed nailpolish. It just wasnt for me. We had to stand information every morning. We had our companies lined up in order. I believe i was in Bravo company. I dont remember much from there, ive blocked out most of it. I did however meet some really great people. Some of the best people i met there. If you are reading this i think you know who you guys are.
So when i moved to sweden on my own, i only lasted about 6 months. I missed my family too much. My sisters especially. So i moved back home to America. I started Highschool there. A school called Kathleen Highschool It was notorious for being a bad school. There were constanly fights. I remember being pretty scared sometimes. There were about 5-10 fights a day i would say. We always had police walking around the school to make sure it was safe. I saw some people end up so brutally beated, that they would call an amulance. People would stand around and watch as this went on. I remember not wanting to look. It broke my heart, no matter who was fighting. It wasnt all bad, i met some pretty cool people there too. My best friend was the valedictorian. She was so smart. I was so glad she was there.I played tennis for the school. I was first player on my tennis team and i loved my team! i miss those girls. One of them passed away no to long ago in a car accident. I graduated 2011 with my class and i got to experience and American graduation. Far diffrent from a Swedish one.
My parents got a divorce about a year or so later, I move to Sweden along with my mother and sisters. Then i met someone from America in Sweden and we moved right back to America about a year later. We lived in America for about 2 and a half years when i decided that it wasnt meant to be and moved BACK to Sweden once again.
I am finally settled down down and am not planning to move to America anytime soon! I love my life now in Sweden. I have my mom and my amazing sisters. I have my Fiance, And his family that i consider my own. I am so blessed to have inlaws like them. I love them all so much and i felt like ive known them my whole life! I consider his family my family! and even my family consider his family FAMILY. I could go on all day about the love i have for my family and his. I have a beautiful daughter that is exactly 4 months old today! I felt like a barely scratched the surface of my life yet ive written so much. I hope you guys feel like youve learned a little something about the person behind the blog.