The plane had frost on its wings and tail in Copenhagen, so we left a bit later then scheduled because they had to flush away all the frost before we could take off.

This fight was my first longer flight with a budget airline.
It Doesn’t matter I told myself booking it, I was wrong!
When they don’t serve complementary food people bring there own.

About an hour in to the flight almost every body started to unpack all kinds of sandwiches and other food. Resulting in an incredible odor taking over the entire airplane. It was almost unbearable, fish, cheese, half rattan fruit.

I felt sick!

Wondering how on earth I was going to survive 3 more hours.

So, when we finally landed after what felt like forever I was focused filling the immigration forms and when I got out and saw a driver with a sign saying m-something and Mathew I walked straight up to him and got in his car.

Thought it was a bit weird that it said Mathew, I was pretty sure I wrote Matteo, but who cares maybe they just translated it.
We talked and he drove, when he stopped an other man that was supposed to walk me to my hotel asked if I was Ana. I was surprised and said no. That’s when I realized the sign didn’t say Melissa & Mathew but something els.
My friendly cab driver stopped being friendly and he suddenly didn’t understand English eater.

Eventually he calmed down a bit a managed to call the lady I am renting my room of and he drove me the the right house. What happened to the once he was supposed to pick up I don't know. Hope they found their place as well.

The house where we are staying is very nice, and so is the landlady. We also met two Norwegians that we might go on a trip with tomorrow.

Even if our first hours in Morocco was a bit stressful I do have faith that's were going to have a good time.

Love

M


One happy traveler

Exhausted after a long journey.

Our new neighbourhood.

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Suddenly you were here.

My beautiful baby boy laying on my chest.

Everybody else left, a nurse came and took your measurements.

I took a shower, and then it was just you and me.

Just like it had been for nine months. Now, instead of being a part of me - inside me, you were beside me.

I could hold you, kiss you, hug you.

It was the most natural thing in the world, like you'd been there all along. And at the same time the most frightening thing I've experienced.

Just you and me. Am I seriously the person that's supposed to take care of you?

What if I can’t? What if you don’t like me?

I created you, and now your stuck with me!

You were and still are the most beautiful person I know.

I had become US.

They moved us to a more ‘hotel like’ room and we were once again alone.

Side by side and we fell asleep both knowing that nothing would ever be the same again.

From that point a part of my mind will always be with you, wonder, and pray that you are alright.

Love

M

Trying to breastfeed laying down for the first time

He was so tiny!

For more photos check follow me on insta

https://www.instagram.com/mamatousana/

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Walking around with a dog and a baby pretty much makes you invisible!
You’d think, at least if you carrying or wearing the baby people would notice you.
But no!
Don’t people think it’s weird that a baby flit around a little over one meter over ground? Or that a baby is out on its own?
The answer is, No!
They don’t. Just stop and talk to the baby, like is was the most natural thing in the world.

It’s the same with dogs.

At least the dog walk on It’s own.

With a dog it’s mostly a shorter monologue and maybe some head scratching, but with a child it can be singing, some hand theater a story and it can go on for what at least feels like forever.

Sometimes I say Hi and the person in front of me mumbles something in return without looking at me or paying it any attention.
Every once in a while after where done with child and or dog it’s like they hear a voice, they look up - smile, and disappears.
In the beginning this was a behavior that left me confused and I just stood there for a while looking after the person walked away, wondering what had just happened?

Now I’m used to it, and no that people aren’t rude.

They simply can’t see me.

I must be invisible!

Love
M

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The moment I gave birth to Matteo I began to worry. 

I’ve always wondered why people worry. It doesn’t make you any favors, just more anxious. I mean, relax! If something unpleasant is going to happen it’s going to happen either way. Worrying will just make it worse.

But after having a baby I just do. All these questions pop out of no where.

Is he gaining enough weight?

Do we have enough time?

Is he sleeping enough?

Did he make that sound last time he slept?

I could go on forever 😅

Dose worry come with love?




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So tomorrow is Father’s Day and Matteo and I made our first card together. 

Ofcouse we used plant based toxic free watercolor. 🎨


Hope papa likes it !

Love
M

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So it was time to leave the Norwegian West.
The plain was small, I was the only non white on the entire aircraft. I felt them looking at me with my afro, cornrows and sleeping baby...
We were clearly not the average passenger from this airport on an early weekday afternoon.
The weather was rainy, windy and wet when we left ground but up in the air the sunshine was bright and in Oslo the sun was shining.
As the sun set we flew out of Oslo towards Copenhagen.

Love
M

/ body

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Yesterday we flew from Oslo to Aalesund.
We’re here to visit grandparents and great grandparents, on Matteo’s fathers side.
I’ve never been here before and was a bit nervous to meet everyone.
The flight started out horribly! Matteo screamed from the moment we entered the plane and finally stopped when we took of. One of the stewards was super friendly though, and came up to me just to say that of course it’s allowed to be upset and scream when your so young. It’s always nice too feel a bit support when your baby’s being over average loud 😆

It has been a bit rainy, but the West of Norway where we are now is truly beautiful!

The village is located at the foot of mountains going down to the see. From the house at night, we can see a thousand lights going up the hillside on the other side of the water.

Love

M

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Yesterday my little boy became three months. Unbelievable!

A little over three months days ago I was waiting, wondering when he was going to come, and how it would be to have him here. Now I can’t imagine my life without him.

For 90 days I’ve had him in my arms. I feel truly blessed and I’m forever grateful that we are both healthy and well.

Yesterday we left a gray and wet Sweden for an evan grayer and rainy Oslo.

Our flight went really well, I’m always a bit nervous because I’m not sure how Matteo is going to act.

When we arrived we met up with friends for “fika” and later dinner.

I was hoping for some true crispy days with the temperature around 0 C, sun and a blue sky. But so far it’s just wet.

We’ll see if Oslo would like to show us it’s beautiful late fall side while we’re here.


Love

M


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In the autumn of 2016 I was living a pretty hectic life. I was working as a restaurant manager, christmas season was building up and I was trying to fix up the kitchen in my new appartment.

Also I had a lot of couchsurfers from different parts of the world coming and going.

Then I became pregnant, the father to be was an acquaintance. We had been working together before and have a lot of mutual friends but didn't really know each other.

It was all an awkward situation and it still is sometimes, but I decided that this was the best thing that ever happened to me.

So there I was a young woman - mother to be, in a country that was not mine expecting a child with a man I hardly knew.

So many things to think about, so many decisions to make. First but not least should I stay in this country where I've built up my adult life or should I simply move back home to my mum and my family?

If I decide to stay - can I at least give birth at home?

Who is this person that's growing inside me ?

Am I capable of doing this?

I was both excited and scared to death.

Follow me on insta & this blog to see how it all turned out?


Love

M


Today we took a walk by a nearby waterfall

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Matteo woke me up for the last time at 6.30, I tried to feed him and go back to sleep for another 45 min but he wouldn't stop “ talking” and waving his arms and legs, so I gave up. I always feel tired at first, thinking there is not a chance in the world that I can start my day now!

But after sitting up for five minutes or so I’m almost wide awake and it's no longer on the table to go back to bed.

After breakfast we went for a walk, like we do most mornings right now.

Me, Matteo and my mums street dog from Barcelona - Kimora.

It’s humid and hazy, but not cold and my thin duvet was almost to warm.

Autumn came late this year and some leaves are still green, but most trees are now losing their leaves, I can even smell them laying wet there on the ground. It’s the smell of Autumn.

Were at my mum's house in the Southeast corner of Sweden “Österlen” and in the small village there is a bakery that's open Thursday to Sunday.

We took a shorter walk through the forest and stopped at the bakery for a cappuccino and a cinnamon roll.

It is a sourdough bakery Byvägen 35 it's called and they have sourdough- cardamom- and cinnamon rolls that are to die for!

Also Kimora is allowed inside, so we can sit all three together and I don't have to feel bad leaving her out in the rain.

When I sit in there and the scent of fresh made bread and cinnamon enter my nostrils, accompanied by the noise from the kitchen I feel at home.


A good start on a cozy day.


Love

M


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