Hey girl❤ how are you doing? I know you're gonna have a hard time reading this since you have a hard time learning languages at school. But I have good news for you. It gets better! In 10 years time you will speak both English and GERMAN fluently!!! How cool is that? Oh and it's all because instead of moving to NYC when you turn 19 to become a fashion designer you will go on a mission to Switzerland and get to know a bunch of cool people. You will love it😊
Also, I know you're thinking of becoming a pilot as a "back up plan" if the designer thing doesn't work out. I happy you're such a dreamer and I just want to remind you to never stop dreaming. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something that you want to do. I mean it, you can do anything❤
You have a rough couple of years ahead of you and I know you tell yourself it's ok and no one needs to know how lonely you are. You tell yourself you can smile and laugh and just hope the loneliness goes away in the future. Remember that you are the one who has to make it go away. No one can just magically make it disappear....
Or well, they can, but the moment they leave the feeling of fullness leaves with them. Rely on yourself but more importantly rely on your friends. They don't know how sad you are when the only thing they hear is the loud laugh echoing in the hallways. Tell them how much you need them while you have them.
Oh, and last thing: you won't marry David. Sweet girl, you made out with him once and even tough your sweet innocent mind believes at eternal love after the first kiss it doesn't always turn out that way. You will know that for a fact sooner then you think.

I love you and how strong you are. I think you're my favorite age just cause you're so optimistic and happy. You're my believer, my dreamer and I'm writing you now to let you know I won't let your dreams down.

-from your future self🦄

Lovelove

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I use this phrase sometimes.

Have a nice life...

Just a funny way saying goodbye. Nothing serious at all!

But sometimes I really mean it...

​Haha, japp... I'm really tired of all the crap today ✌🏼

Lovelove

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Number One: A unicorn sing and laugh loud for all to hear. If you don't your body will fill up with butterflies and you will explode so that the glitter in your veins splashes all over the wall. We wouldn't want to clean up that beautiful mess so sing out loud sisters!

Numero dos: A unicorn has sick moves. They love dancing and shaking their bodies. If we don't we will turn in to a depressed "Charlie" and our colorful, sparkly fur will turn gray and lifeless. So next time you hear some music, shake what yo mama gave ya👯💃🏼🕺🏽

Number three: unicorns are dreamers and full of confidence. And we can share it by being our own awesome selfs. It's highly contagious😀 Spread it like pixie dust✨✨✨


Lovelove 🦄💕💜

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In the beginning of this year I wrote down a few goals. None of them have been reached yet but I took the first tine step forwards one of them last week. I wrote myself in to the drivers school. Of all my goals that was the only one that had to be done this year and its almost August now. The year is more over than beginning.

So fingers crossed and knock on wood. Maybe ill have my license in September. That would me nit. 


Love love

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Some days when I just think about life, what I want to happen, I just can't understand why I'm not doing all the things i want to do. Why I'm not striving to reach my goals, why I don't make my dreams reality. Is life really that scary that I won't give it my all to succeed. What if I give it my all and fail? Is that it? Am I afraid? Am I frightened? Sometimes when I look back I see I've had the same goals for years. Never able to finish. Never getting done. Cause what if i finish and won't have a new goal or dream. Am I suppose to just float around in happiness then? Is that what I'm afraid of? My own happiness... The only thing i really want. At least I think so.

Every time I start something theres always something that make me stop. What if I'm not good enough? What if i don't make it? What if... Always an excuse! No money. No time. Or not the right time. Later! When I've lost the weight. When I've figured out what to study, when I've moved. The list is long of all the things I'm creating to hold me back. To afraid to change. To afraid to go forward. To go back. So i try to find myself in the now. Where is my "ZEN".

Im holding myself back cause the future is blurry and uncertain and I'm afraid of what I will become there. Who I will be in a day, in a week or in a year. My need of control is holding me back. My need of not showing that I'm messing up over and over. Its ok that i know but not anyone else. Fear is holding us back cause we all want to know the future but the only way to know it is to jump right into it and free fall. Some of us are lucky to have control of our parachute so we can glide and enjoy the view. but some of us are just dangling in a bungee jump line. Desperate for someone to help us down to the ground.

Anyway... just thought of that today.

Lovelove

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One of my favorit songs is called ”To Build a Home”. It's beautiful and has a deeper meaning than to just build a house out of stone, wooden floors and window seals. A physical home is a luxury many of us are blessed to have. My physical home from my childhood; a typical Swedish red wooden house with white corners. My parents bought it befor i was born. Even if i was brough up there in the red house where i took my first step, said my first words, learned how to ride a bike... I still feel so unset in that place that should be the most comfortable place in the world. I guess i miss the feeling of havig our whole family there. Cause a red wooden house with white corners is just a house until the people who live there makes it a home.

I guess i stoped being a home september 11th 2014 when i left. Switzerland bacame my home. The gray, blue and purple snow covered mountains i could see in the horizon when i stood by the Zollikofen tempel bacame my home. The green hills and sunflower feelds of Burgdorf became my home. The weed-smelling streats of Winterthur became my home. The people who lived in these towns became my family. I cared for them, they cared for me. The day I got the call to leave Switzerland was a nightmare. I could not believe it and i cried because i was needed elsewhere.


Austria... Let's say we where of to a though start. I didnt want you to become my home. I wasnt easy to dislike it as much as I imagined i would. The people was beyond sweet. The members where each a beacon of sunlight. Who whould have though that morning when our ”gas alarm” whent of that the red couch in the Pinols home would become my bed many times over for the next year. Who knew that the girls would become my little sisters. Who knew that the guy who found me so irriating would become my next home.

Yes, thats right. Even though i went back to the red wooden house with white corners you where my home Seb. The distance was excruciating. The planerides went to heaven. Litteraly and figurtivly. Home was the red couch. Home was your arms around me. Home was your kiss on my forhead. Home was us planing the future. Home was feeling security that you would always be there even if you wherent... Home was knowing that we loved eachother.

Home is not a place, or someone you meet, but on the same time, it is! I don't have one home anymore, i have many. I don't settle down in one place cause what if i miss out on home? What if i need to find another home. The world is big and got planty of space to explore for a wandrer like me.

Lovelove💕

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I have long hair. I used to pull it behind my ears or make nice braids in it so it wouldn't be in my face.

I have long hair. I wear it down now. I like how it creates a barrier between me and the world.

I have long hair. Like a waterfall it runs down my back and on the side of my face.

I have long hair. It tickles my face, my eyes and my noes.

I got long hair. I can hide behind it so I don't have to look at anyone at the street.

I got long hair. I can hide behind it so you no one can recognize me.

Lovelove💕

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Priorities... Reasently this became a word with a bad ring to it. Priorities should help you grow and make you better. You should priorities what makes you feel good and not bad. For some reason my priorities makes me feel like crap lately. Makes me fell down and sad and sometimes I feel bad cause I feel like I priorities things that I don't want to but feel like I have too. Sometimes others make me feel bad cause I'm not prioritizing them in the way they want but in reality I am putting them first. I'm giving it all I got.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to make myself my top priority cause thats what everyone else does. Actually I've always been that way and thats probably why I'm so selfish... I dont like that, but then I think if I'm not selfish and put myself first who else will do it? No one, probably. No one cares that much that they would let everything else go to just help me or be someone I need them to be. A person like that is too good to be true...

Selfish or not. The top priority is me, myself and my wellbeing.


Lovelove

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This week me and my sister spent in Almeria, Spain. I don't have much to say except that it was so nice to just relax and enjoy the weather. I finished reading 2,5 while being there so that pretty much says how much time I spent in my tanning chair. Here are some pix for you to enjoy

Lovelove💕

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