Pictures from 2016 and 2017 in the same time period. The one's at the top are from the last day, hanging out with my friend Fanny in her home town in Dalarna. After work this Friday I left Stockholm with the train to get away for a couple of days, mostly to slow down and chill. I've been a bit stressed the last month, giving me stomach ache, insomnia, less appetite and so on... I've had these troubles before, when I went to school. But in Vansbro I always let my guard down and relax. I think it's mostly because Fanny lives there and her family and her are some of the most open-minded and nice people I know. I always feel welcomed. It's almost like a home away from home, if you understand what I mean?
Right now I think the symptoms are consequences of trying to always be at my best; at work, at the gym, with friends, at home, with myself etc. Right before my big test in the science course I took October-December I was very sick. Because of this I was all out and couldn't study to the last hour, I pretty much slept all day for a couple of days. Even though I slept for almost more than 16 hours I felt the stress in my chest and my stomach - what if I wouldn't do or make the test? I don't think my thoughts and behavior since that time has left yet, which keeps me stressed even though I'm finished with the course. On top of this I've had much in my head at work and also been planning with the trip to South Africa in three weeks.
Anyway! To show you something I'm also showing you pictures from 2016 the same time period as now, as I wrote earlier. Why? Well, it's not only because the pictures are nice to look at and the fact that I'm almost always longing to go to an exotic place. It's because even though the climates are different in these pictures, I'm wearing different clothes, doing different everyday routines and hanging out with different people I'm actually not in a better place in Nusa Ceningan, Bali, than here at the moment. I mean, I'm in a better place since I'm feeling very very safe and I surround myself with friends and family I love. But even though I was in Nusa Ceningan, in this magical scenery, I was feeling very alone. I wanted to see the island, and the person I wanted to see it with didn't want to follow. Luckily I met up with one of my best friend's sister! On the other side of the world, the exact same weekend - what are the odds? Anyway. I was feeling very troubled on this island, missing people from home, not being sure about where or if I should stay in Bali, not sure if I would continue with a relation to a person I started some month earlier. I think I was pretty upset and heart broken.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I think I'm trying to tell you something you've probably heard many times before: just because the pictures are beautiful and you think people on social media are super happy and better than ever - there's always a story behind the person in front or, or holding, the camera. With that said: when scrolling on instagram or other social media and starting to feel low since everyone seems to live a happier and more exciting life than yourself - remember to think that everyone's fighting their own battle and there's no problem with you if your pictures don't look as happy or exciting. What matters are if you're comfortable in your life situation. If you are - Congratulations! Stay strong and remember you're right where you want to be. If not - try to see how you can change your patterns, what do you want to do? Then go do it!! When at your happiest and most comfortable times these pictures will no longer bother you.
Take care of each other and let's start next week with being nice to ourselves.
Love and light,