Hey guys, my name is Gabi, and I finally realized the world isn't a great a place as I was told. There are tons of problems, like emotional abuse. For children at a young age, it can be tough to cope these problems, and without anyone to turn to, it makes it so much worse.
These conditions become a hazed normal for children, and they need to know that it's not normal. My parents are emotionally abusive, and up until a few days ago, I didn't even know it. Let's start from the beginning.
I was around 6 or 7 years old when my mom left me with my aunt in Ohio for a few months while she went out and looked for a place to live in Nevada. (Where we currently live.) 8 months go by, and she comes back out to get me, already married and 6 months pregnant.
As soon as I get out there, I go from the only child to the oldest of soon-to-be 3 kids. The first few months out here were fine, except I was doing more work then ever, and even with everyone in the house, (rather, 2 bedroom apartment.) I was the only one doing any chores.
At 8 years old, I was hauling more loads than everyone combined. Even with everything I did, I was still called a slacker and my step dad and mom both said that I (excuse my language, exact words) half-assed everything I did. I had to try harder.
I realize now that's what an abuser will do to you. They want to see how far you will bend for their praise. For the love they deserve but don't get.
I literally gave up my childhood so I could please my mother. So I could get the love all the other children got. On top of all of this, their marriage was falling apart, so I had to have a constant ear for my mom's complaining about it. 8 and a half, no childhood left, treated and expected to act like an adult, (then yelled at for acting like an adult.) rushing across the apartment, just to try to please her. Just to try to win what I deserved.
Now 2 more children, she pretty much gave up watching the kids. She would leave me in charge of them, like I was a babysitter. She would sleep for hours, leave a 9 year old me alone with them, trying to be a parent, since that's how I was treated almost my whole life. I thought that was my role in this family. I thought that was normal. It went like this for years.
I missed my place in Ohio. I did chores there too, but not like this. Mom suddenly had a lot of stress, but expected me not to, and because of her stress, there came the screaming. It got to a point where she would yell at me, call me a liar, accuse me of things I didn't do, then get mad cause me, a child going through puberty, would break down in frustration and depression. Eventually, we moved to a real house when I was about 12.
Around 7th grade is when it got bad. My grades started falling. I was calles stupid by my step dad, but never when my mom was around. If I told her she would call me a liar and side with him. I was called lazy and told I will get no where in life because at this point, I just wanted to relax.
I couldn't escape this. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, or even go to my room. I couldn't see relatives, or go to my friends. I wasn't even supposed to HAVE friends. Now at 13, I knew this wasn't normal. I knew I shouldn't be treated this way.
Right after school got out that year, I was sent 8 hours away for a month to stay with my cousin in Silver Springs. I was so excited to get out of there, even if it was just for a little while. Now you know something's wrong when your child would rather stay 8 hours away with a person they barely know than stay with you.
I had the time of my life there with my cousin. I felt more at home there than I do with my own mom. When I got back, things took a turn for the worse. She would pick on me and hurt my dog, and when I tried to stand up for myself and my dog, I would get degrated and grounded for it. I tried to get help. I talked to therapists, counselors, anyone I could. They couldn't do anything. They didn't understand the full extent of the problem.
I'm afraid I have to end my story here, because I'm waiting for the rest of it to come in the future.