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A visit from a long distance lover, is like watching a really good movie. The intro is cool and exciting. The story is funny and interesting. And you never ever want to watch the credit part, so you turn the movie off. The story is finished right? 

But sadly you can't skip the goodbye  part during a visit.  You have to sit in that car, leaving them. you have to watch their backs as they disappear. and you have to do that last kiss, that last hug that for once isn't goofy. 

Then you get home, and you see your lover every where. On the sofa, in the bed. The mess he/she left. All the memories. And it just makes you want to sleep. Sleep till he/she wakes you up with  ​a true loves kiss.​ But you have to accept reality. Then you get the ​"I'm home" ​ and you guys start talking again and you start to notice how much you miss him/her. But you're only going back to the real relationship that you have. You go to bed and you once again get reminded that he/she's not going to be there when you fall asleep, or when you wake up. 

But you're sad for a week maybe. Then you go back to normal and you can appreciate the messages in the mornings and the calls during the evning just as much as the touch you get when they're near. After a while you have a date to look forward to and you get hyped for that and everything is back to normal. everything is back to where it was.

and so the cycle continues. 



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Hillou, it's 11 pm and I'm blogging woop.

I'm happy. My long distance boyfriend is here!! But Tomorrow is our last day and I've been crying my eyes out for the last 20 minutes or so. This time is the first time sharing a bed and my bed isn't big... But we can actually sleep really good together now ( it took us 4 nights but Hey! Score!) he's actually snoring right behind me now ^^. But back to my point. How can I handle it? When he's back in England, and we skype and watch stuff together I don't mind it. We always look forward to the next visit. But sadly I just think about the time we got left and I don't want to say goodbye. He's cool about it. He lives in the now, I can't do that! Tomorrow is our last day and I can't stop thinking about everything being "the last time... " next week is going to be a pain. I've been kissing him and holding his hand. Constantly touching him. And soon I'll have nothing. No one to kiss me good morning and night. No one I can force to kiss me. No one to cuddle or hug. I'm going to feel more alone than ever. But how can I say goodbye? I know that I can have more time with him if I want to. I can run to him again before he goes through security. So I'll have to say goodbye and turn my back cause I can't watch the love of my life leave me right in front of my eyes. He heard me cry earlier and he cuddled me. What will he do in 2 days? When I cry because I need him and he's stuck in my laptop screen. I love talking to him. Call him on the bus home from school. Message him to tell him I love him, at random times, get a random " I love you " message. It's just so different from actually being able to kiss / touch him. But it's getting harder and harder to say goodbye... I love my boyfriend. I hate that I can't touch him and feel his warmth when I need it the most.

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Miss Louise closed her eyes and drew her last breath, before she left thiis world forever...

" I'm sorry my love. I really like this one, you made her perfect, just like the rest of your creations. I love it how you give them different looks and thoughts. I think they like it aswell. I hope that you know that I've watched your every creation till the very end since that time. And Ever since that time, I've been treating them with love. Welcoming them into my world. I remember everyones name. Even so, I never got to know yours. As you never got to know mine. Will our paths ever cross again? This time, will it be for a longer time? I miss you so much, do you know? Do you remeber me? Do you know who I am? I'm well aware that your creations fear me. I try to be as nice and open as I can, save them for as long as possible. Watch them live... But I am not fate, and I cannot control fate. Neither can I control destiny. Some of your beautiful works, I will meet too soon. I promies my love don't cry. For I will take care of them. I hope that you know... That I Love You."

" You thaught me to not always see the light, darkness is beautiful too. My dear, I hope that you can see change in my heart. That day, when our paths crossed. I will never forget. Yes, we may not be similar at all. I hope that you can see that in my work. I try to make everyone uniqe special, for two are never the same. All for you. To thank you. Now, I am life, but I never gave you my name, you don't know... I symnolize light and happiness. But I feel no such thing. For I know that we will never see each other again. Please acceppt and notice my creations. They all will know about you. I'm sorry, I cannot control emotions. But my love don't cry for you are forevert in my heart. We're opposite I know. I'm life and you... I hope that you know... That I Love You."


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So, yeah I know, no stories yet! But to be honest, at the moment I'm struggling to find MY thing. I see vloggers and artists and just open people, that everyone finds interesting! And I'm here like " Oh yeah my thing is music!" ( My thing is clearly NOT music belive me) then I say " No! it's art!" ( while I love drawing painting doodling and sketching it's nothing I'm good at) and I continue to think that I've got all these things that defy me. But in reality I'm just 'weeh'. I would say I'm good at writing but I barely ever do it so yeah that's not a thing either... so I would say my thing is " NOT a damn thing" and after typing it here... I realised how true that is! that's awesome.

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First Post!

So this is my very first post! About me, hmm. Well these pictures will help you.

Picture 1: it's a picture taken of Windsor castle in England. My sister is the photograph. I'm obsessed with England. Mainly because of my long distance boyfriend lives there and when you're inlove and all well you get the point, but also because it actually is a beautiful country even though I've heard it rains 24/7 wich kind of makes me confused because I've been there twice and not one single drop of rain! Also I have to admit the accent is just amazing! I love it almost as much as I love HIM.

Picture 2. I like to take photos though I barely ever do it cause I've got a shitty camera and can't be bothered to buy a fancy one. but when I do take pitures. they have to look damn good. I also like my pictures meaningfull, you know like the ones who make you think about random stuff.

Picture 3. I'm terrible at math, and I barely ever study. It's a wonder that I get good grades!

I love to write and I would say I'm pretty good at it. But I also love to sketch and bake, which I'm shit at! I love to do it and I want to do it but when I do it I don't know what to do and it ends up bad. But I still love to do it! God it's driving me insane!

Well that's it for now, hopefully you'll like my future work.

//xoxo




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