For this to be personal I gotta talk about myself.
I'm a teenage girl trying to figure out life. Shit that sounded cheesy. Oh well. Im not gonna say my age, cause it's gonna make people go away.
I live in America and go to high school. I moved here 1 year ago and I've got like 10 friends. Only hang out with 3 of them this summer but oh well. I can't reach out to everyone, which I always do. Even with my friend over seas, whom I've known for years. See, I don't believe in "let them text me first cause I have pride" bullshit, that's how people really get lonely. I always seem to make the first call, first hello. It's upsetting time to time, makes me feel like a pushover. Maybe they would actually call me themselves if they cared. But I know they care. They are my best friends, even if I'm kilometers away.
But here however, it ain't as easy. People seem to be more nice than friendly, you know what I mean? They're super super nice but, friendship is too much. Ehh idk, I'm just hoping this year it'll be different. See last year I wan LOOKING for friends, this year I think I'm gonna look for myself. It's easier to be a loner than to be a pushover, although 1. I'm not a pushover-don't mess with me! And 2. Gotta give credit to my pretty much only friend "shopaholic", who's truly awesome. So since I already have a friend, time to work on myself: Be more bold, get bangs maybe. Ehh that might be too much, sdk yet, my fake bangs are arriving on Thursday so I'm gonna see if it looks good first. Well, long story short, I wanna find me. Experiment with my looks more and such and I would recommend everyone the same ( not that anybody is reading it)
But if anyone is honestly thank you from my heart

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"God, you're so cool, how do you not have a boyfriend?"

This is what a girl at work asked me the other day. So I thought, "why do I not have a boyfriend?". By no means I thought I was cool, and I usually never get comments like this but, all of a sudden I was got curious.
I could think of a million reasons why I didn't have a boyfriend. For starters, I don't have a lot of male friends. Shit, I don't have a lot of friends in general. Not since I moved to the US but, but I don't have ANY male friends right now. I'm also the kind of girl you guys have crushes on. I'm not popular, nor do I go to a lot of places where I could meet people.
"So yeah" I thought "this is why I don't have a boyfriend" but then I got to think, having a boyfriend is not about being cool or pretty. Its not about being popular or going to many hangouts. Causes quite frankly, if I really wanted to I could probably start dating someone from my school right now. But the thing is, I have standards. Sounds bitchy, but I do.

Now that I remember, once I asked my cousin about her friend who was single. She was so pretty and so smart and so kind and so so cool, but she was single. So I asked her how could she not have a boyfriend. And my cousin told me: "because she's so pretty and so smart and so kind and cool. You know, she could date any guy she wants probably, but it's not about dating any guy, its about dating the right guy."

And my wise cousin was right and only now I truly understand. I don't have a boyfriend because I cannot find a guy responsible enough, mature enough and good enough for me. Not because something wrong with me or something is wrong with them. It's because they want good, and I want best.

So here's the lesson, don't get a boyfriend or a girlfriend just for the sake of being in a relationship and being cool. Be in a relationship that makes you happy and feel like a better person. Cause you are cool on your own

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We all need friends. No matter how old we are, no matter what we do in life, how weird or normal we are, we need friends who understand is. It's hard when you're so far away, have to leave all your friends behind. They say that long-distance relationships are hard. Well I wouldn't know anything about that (giggles) but, I for sure know that long-distance friendships are hard as hell. Watching them, because the other one, and live life and without you it's kind of heartbreaking. After some time just feel so left out but, then you talk. Over the messages, it may be over Skype, doesn't matter really but, you talk and it seems like nothing has changed. You still laugh about the same things. Get sad and angry about the same things, and it just feels like you're talking to them in person, just like you used to. Damn I love my friends so much. I didn't even cry when I move to another country forgot sake, but now I want sweet message made me tear up like a little baby. Appreciate friends. You need them.

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Is life fair? How can one have it all, while other has nothing. Are usually don't think of thoughts that deep, but every day is different I guess. I want to say I have nothing. I probably have lot less problems than many people. Some people probably dreaming of living the way I live, not just on the materialistic side, but maybe even my environment overall. And I'm so grateful for what I have but, sometimes I just can't help but think that people get things that they don't deserve. Why people who work and work get nothing back, but spoiled little brats get whatever they desire. Why do I try so much but get little to nothing back, while someone who doesn't even care has everything.

I know my theory is wrong. I know that nobody has everything. Everyone has demons that they fight and even though they might be nothing to us, it can mean world to them. There's a quote that I love, " Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. We kind. always".

So yes, life can be unfair sometimes, but karma's a bitch and there's always a bigger picture. So only way is to buckle up and get through that shit. Cause that's life. You have to live it.

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Hello people.
Recently I've been thinking about this subject, so I'm gonna share my thoughts.

As a fellow teenager, people always assume things and they try to tell me things. Everybody thinks that you don't know what you want, You don't have your own opinions yet, you haven't seen "The real world" yet. And yes some of it is true, some spoiled little brats really don't know what it's really like but, I hate when adults think that teenage life is oh so easy. I was talking to a friend Who is a few years older than me, and she said that being a teen is "The easiest time of life". And yes, I agree with that but , only on a certain degree. See, I know that when I know it won't be easy, that parents won't pay bills for me, that I will have to be the one who takes out the trash, and cleans all the dishes, and does all the laundry. But just a slight thought of the freedom that I'll have when I'm an adult is so appealing. The thought that you can do it at your heart desires, don't ask anybody for the permission and just be free to make your own decisions, your own mistakes, just sounds so fucking good. "You can save some money ", I told my friend "Rent a car and just drive off wherever your soul desires, and nobody would be able to tell you not to. You could do this anytime and go anywhere. But I can't".


She told me that I sounded like a typical teenager but, I think I was just being honest.

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Hello people.
I don't really know why I'm doing this. I've tried to have a blog before, many times. None of them worked out so why should I have hopes for this one. But now I feel like doing it. So Imma do it. I don't know where this'll go, but you can join if you'd like.

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