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The beach during sunset really is the best. Yesterday was a busy day. I had a meeting in the morning and then we had a photoshoot for the movie "Fury Scorned" on a few different locations around LA. Santa Monica was one of them.

Today is Thursday which means I'm spending my day at Hines and Hunt. Can't believe it's almost weekend again, time is going by way to fast.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!

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First time I ever had caprese was in Italy. It's probably the most simple thing you can do, but man it's good.

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I think we found our new spot. You know when you feel like going out, but not clubbing, more like "bar chill"? Catcher in the Rye is for sure the place to go!

It's a bar designed like a library. And even better, they have board games! On top of that they're serving great food and have a photo booth. What else do you need? I love this place!

On top of it all I have really amazing friends, I'm so glad I met them all and that we get to have nights like this. It's very much needed. So thank you all for tonight, you rock!


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Right now I'm sitting in a park by myself sipping on a chai latte from Porto's. I decided that this Sunday was going to be a good day.

I started with making an omelett for breakfast. Then I took an hour walk to an adoption center/animal shelter on Magnolia to see if they needed volunteer workers. I've always wanted to help animals in some way. And I've told myself that the day I have more money I'm gonna spend a lot of it helping animals in need. But why wait? I might not be in a position where I can open up my own shelter now but that doesn't mean I can't do something? There's always something we can do to give back to the world. Just ask yourself what you are passionate about and start there.

After that I took a walk to Porto's bakery and got the best chai latte I've gotten in America so far. And now I'm spending some time alone in the sun. This was exactly what I needed. A calm and sunny Sunday by myself.

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I've been thinking a lot about ''self hatred'' lately, about how much you can actually hurt yourself without intending to do so. I blame myself a lot, I blame myself for things I shouldn't blame myself for. I blame myself for such a simple thing as being me. I think a lot of us get in the way of ourselves, and it's keeping us from living that awesome life we know we could live.

I've always lived with the feeling that I'm holding back, but I've never really figured out why I'm holding back. I spend a lot of time thinking back at certain situations, about things I've said, about how I've acted in the past. I spend a lot of time thinking about if I did the right thing or the wrong thing. I get angry at myself for not acting perfect when I ''could have''. There are things I simply just don't do because I know how much time I will have to spend after thinking about it. I stay away from things that i know could make me happy, because it will take way to much energy from me just getting there. So it ends up not being worth it.

There's a lot of things I like about myself, but then there's things about me I just refuse to accept. I've spent to much time observing other people, and therefor I think I know what people like and don't like. But truth is I don't. Because I'm not you and you're not me. I expect people to think of me the way I think of myself. But that's not fair. I will never give anyone a chance to really like me because I've already decided that they can't. How can they like something I dislike so much? The expectations we have on ourselves are sometimes so unrealistic and so unfair.

Sometimes I feel like the control is all I have. It makes me feel safe, being able to control what people can see and what they can't. We all have a past, and we all have battles to fight, but it doesn't have to be so lonely all the time. If we could just stop our minds from telling us what is okay to feel and what is not. There's really no such thing, if you feel something you feel it. We shouldn't hate ourselves from feeling whatever it is we're feeling. If you keep yourself from feeling you loose what's really you. The way we act, the way we think and the way we feel is what makes us different from one another. Sharing thoughts and feelings is what makes us being able to connect so good with some people and some not. But if we hide from it, how do you connect with people at all? How do you feel true to yourself when the people around you don't even know you?

I write a lot about self love, because I think it's one of the most important things in life. And it's one of my biggest struggles. Not having that love for yourself can really make you miss out on stuff. Some people are in terrible relationships because they don't know what they deserve. And some people are not in a relationship because they don't think they deserve it at all. And it's really not just about love relationships, any relationship, friendships. They don't work unless you're true to who you are. A wise friend told me we have to stop apologizing for who we are. If you really do feel a certain way, or say something you truly feel, why be sorry about it? I think that is something that confuses us a lot. Saying sorry is the same as admitting we did something wrong, and if we keep doing it, we'll just end up feeling that all we are is wrong. But maybe we're not. Maybe we're absolutely right.


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Summer nights at the beach, that's how I first imagened Cali to be like when I moved here. I remember how everyday felt like a vacation, how it felt as if it would never end. It didn't really end, I still look around and I'm still amazed by the fact that I live in such a beautiful city. But I do forget to look around sometimes. I forget that I have a pool outside, I forget that the beach is only a drive away. I'm so focused on my goal, so focused to get to that finish line that I sometimes forget to just enjoy the day.

I think a lot of us are afraid to ''waste time''. I'm so afraid to be left with regrets, to feel that I could have done more, and sometimes when I decide to just have fun I feel like I'm wasting valuable time. And yeah sure, we could spend every hour of everyday working towards our goals. But it also makes us incredibly isolated from the rest of the world. I know success would make me happy, but it doesn't mean my life will always be a dance on roses. Being successful doesn't mean I will be happy for the rest of my life. So on my way to success I'm now trying my best to really get to know who I am. I'm trying to make sure to stay grounded, find a lifestyle I'm happy with. I'm trying my best to become a person I can be proud of. Because I know that once I get to where I want I'm gonna need those other stuff. I'm going to need my friends, I'm going to need a healthy me and a healthy life.

You deserve to have a fun night out with friends, you deserve to do things that makes you happy. We need those moments, moments without expectations, moments when we can just be ourselves. They're so valuable and they are not a waste of time.

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Being kind can seem like such a simple little thing. It doesn't take very much of us, just a simple gesture as opening the door for someone or simply just smile at a stranger. Small stuff like that can make a huge difference. How hard is it really do give a compliment? Or wish someone well? Not very hard. Still so many people choose to go the other way. There's people all around that wish you would fail, people who for some reason can't wait to spit out that comment about how you are doing everything wrong. LA has taught me a lot of good lessons when it comes to other peoples intentions, but it's not always easy to see through.

I'm tired of mean words, I'm tired of people constantly hurting others. It just doesn't make any sense to me why you would want to bring someone down instead of lifting them up. But I've realized that that's the world we live in, and I just have to be cautious not having those people in my own life. But how do you keep them out? How do you know who's good and who's not? I guess you don't, but time will show. It always does.

I want to be a person who is happy for others, who wish my friends all the best, no matter where I am at in life. I truly believe that a person who is strong, who likes themselves, have no reason to ever want to bring someone else down. It is a strong thing, seeing your friends succeed and being genuinely happy for them. Especially if things aren't going so great for you at the moment. But I do believe that you get what you ask for in life, and you get what you put out there. So if you want other people to be happy for you it make sense that you would do the same for them? Being happy for another person and wishing them the best in life, I could never see that hurt anyone? While wishing for someone to fail hurts both of you. Why spend all that energy in the first place? The people you surround yourself with and their energy is very important. You can clearly feel it when someone is bringing it down.

I guess that the people who are hurting others are the people really being hurt. It's an easy thing to do you know, taking it out on others, blaming pain on someone else. But the good thing about having friendships where you wish each other the best, where you truly care for each other, is that you never have to feel like that. You don't feel like you always have to hide the pain and the struggle. You don't have to compete and you don't always have to be on top. Because a real friend doesn't care, a real friend cares about you. Not what you are currently accomplishing in life. And those people are the keepers, take care of those friendships. Because they mean everything.

I guess what I really want to say is: People, be kind. Don't fall into that bitter trap, it will hurt you more than them. Because other people can choose to walk away, but you have to live with what you say, with how you treat others. So treat them good, be someone that you can be proud of.

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I'm finally back! I've been to New York a couple of times now but it just doesn't get old. This is the first time I've been here during winter tho.

I guess I should start with saying "Merry Christmas" to all of you in Sweden where you are probably waking up right now. I'm really excited for the 24th here, excited to see how different it's going to be this year. Today we walked, a lot. We went to two different holiday markets and we also went to a museum. I already forgot the name of it haha! I don't understand how I can be so in to art and yet still not feel anything for paintings? Well you can't get it all I guess. I've also been eating a lot of amazing food today, life is good when your parents are around right? I ended this lovely day with going to the cinemas by myself. Passengers got out the 21st so I simply just had too. Jen never disappoints.

Tomorrow is a new day and I should probably head to sleep now since we all have a really long but fun day in front of us. One of the best days of the year if I get to say it myself!

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