It's almost been six months now since I left Sweden to spend year here. In a state I barely knew anything about, with a family I'd never met. So excited to live the American life as a teenager and go high school that would just be like the movies. Doing this the first couple of weeks was not as easy as expected, obviously I didn't have a hard time, but it was definitely hard to just transform that fast, and find my spot and who I was going to be here. Now, six months later I know who I am and I know where I fit in, but realizing that it’s already been six months and there’s still so much I want to achieve and do, stresses me out. I already feel like the doomsday is coming, the day that I will have to say goodbye to my life here and go back home, and with this in the back of my head I couldn’t find EF’s challenge better fitting! So here I go with doing my own sort of bucket list, or accomplishments/improvements for the time that I have left here!
People that know me, know that I'm not shy, I'm very outgoing and have no problem starting conversations, but last semester I did have a problem that I feel like made my exchange year harder. I hade a really hard time asking people for things, it didn't matter what it was I just hated the thought of being a burden. For example I hated to ask for rides home, it was like physically impossible for me, it hurts my stomach because to me it feels like I'm asking for too much! I would literally walk home from school sometimes (45 minutes) just because I didn't want to ask people. And I know it sounds stupid and when I told my friends this later they laughed! But coming from Stockholm, Sweden I've always been so independent, with public transportation and just the fact that we are the type of people that wants to make it right for ourselves, not ask for too much or feel like you are in debt. Now I've just realized that people don't really care that much, and asking isn't that bad! Haha I wish I didn't miss as many opportunities as I did. And that's a thing I want to change, to not be afraid to ask. And obviously not just about rides but about everything, help in school, activities anything.
Now I do have some actual achievements I really want to accomplish here before I leave. And this might sound confusing or just silly, but I need to throw my tuck in cheer! (I know cheer is my life now) but it would really be the best feeling to get it! And I know that I can! I have the best coaches and team! I just need to get over the pain because it's just brain signals and I'm better than that Hahha
For myself I really want to improve my English, and yes I've heard from almost everyone here that my English is very good, but honestly I don't agree, yes I can communicate well, but it's the way that I do it that bothers me; using "like" 50 times in one sentence and not being able to argument as good as I do in Swedish, it really brings my personality down so much! Because I have so much to say but no way to say it! So I'm really going to work on improving my use of English and vocabulary just for myself!
I came here to learn about American culture and the way of living here, however I really want to share my way too, not no convince people that one or the other way is better, but to inform people of the knowledge I've gotten: everyone is different! I am an ambassador for Sweden, I represent my country in a way I've never done before and I think it's just as interesting sharing my culture as experiencing theirs. With everything going on here and in the world right now I think that learning this is very important. It's not right, it's not wrong, it's different!
Thank you EF for giving us the challenge to share this!