Buenas tardes, peeps.

Hope ya'll had a great Valentine's - alone or with your special someone. I have never had problems with this day while being single - I actually prefer it like that! You probably don't believe me as it's one extremely rare opinion but it's true.

Let me tell you why: Hopeless romantic. I love seeing people in love & they showing it to the world. While now, being in a 3-year long relationship, it kinda puts pressure on you. Of course, "El novio" doesn't expect or asks anything - he just wants to spend the day with me.. but I do feel like it I want to put some effort to it because I love this day so much. Never goes as plan, you know? I guess it's more romantic looking from the outside in.

Although this time around with me here in BCN & him back in Sweden - it was different. It was both sad & weird. I missed him, seeing all the love themed things BUT I still enjoyed it! As I said: seeing people in love makes me happy. I have my special someone with me in my heart and I in his, that's all I, we, need to know.

Anyway; I spend my Valentine's in my room. HA! I'm not feeling very well & it's thanks to my nightmares; I can't sleep more than an hour at a time & the side effects of that is not being able to hold food down. So I'm staying home for the rest of the week, trying to fix it.

I will be back next week for 2 days only... SINCE I'm going "home" to spend time with my family for my Birthday! My 22:nd birthday falls on a Monday & I will not be stuck at work for that - NO SENOR. So I took some days off Muahaha 😁

I chose this time to visit because 1. I promised my mom I'd visit at least once. 2. I can sacrifice this period to change BCN for Sweden. Hopefully I have more years to come & Barcelona will always be here for me to celebrate that.. compared to my family, you never know. 💗

Bought donuts today because I didn't treat myself for V-day (yesterday).

Huge throwback for ya! Totally forgot that I brought a few photographs with me.. :'3

XOXO ~ PowPow ✌

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I have had trouble sleeping since as long as I can remember.. The biggest reason is brutal vivid nightmares.

If asked I'd say I have more nightmares than lovely dreams - but that also depends on when you ask. Apparently from what I have read; having this high amount of nightmares & this type (I won't go into details of my kind of NG's) it could be signs of deep depression. Which would make looots of sense. Still, though...

I haven't had nightmares keeping me up all night since... hmm.. summer 2016. Not having more NG's than a normal healthy human being has, you know?

Well, it's back. Started on Wednesday night. & it freaking sucks, ok? The worst thing about it is that since I'm in BCN alone - when I wake up I can't really cuddle up to either "El Novio" or wake up my mother to bring me back to reality. So I have been exhausted by the end of this week, thank the stars for the weekend!

Because of all this happening - I decided today to go somewhere I know always makes the storm in my mind calm down. A walk by the beach.. and found a lovely spot to just sit & stare at my favorite place on earth - the ocean. There I stayed for an hour, would have stayed longer but it was such a windy day so I had to get moving or else catch a cold. Meh.

The thing I don't understand is why now? I'm freely living my life in the city of my dreams..

OOTD; inspired by my mood? Very dark. Tried to bring some color back with the bag. 😁

The song that was blasting through my headphones while sitting by ocean. Yes, I wanted to sing my heart out so badly haha.. but I controlled myself. Such a loser!😂

Stay strong, lovelies!

XOXO - PowPow.

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& so it's my second favorite month of the year; February. (December is my nr. 1)

Crazy, right? It feels like I have been here for like just 3 weeks when it really has been 6!? Wowza. Time really flies by when you have fun. I have even decided that if I find myself becoming done here (unlikely to happen) I might not even return to Sweden at all but try my luck over in Chile/Argentina & visit family at the same time. This wanderlust has escaped from it's cage inside of me. I have met these amazing peeps who with their stories has inspired me so much to actually dare to take risks in life.

BUT ANYWAY! With work taking over from Mon-Fri & being a free spirit during the weekends - updating hasn't really been a priority & Nessa has made me feel bad about it. 😂 What can I say? Work can be tough at times but my colleges makes it totally worth it. Specially the peeps who sits right next to me "M" & "D". Also apparently "D" and me has made Thursday our day where we eat lunch together - otherwise I always hide & eat somewhere out by myself to get out of the office environment. So that's nice change.

What usually happens during the weekend though? I try & plan to do some house chores but most of the time it ends up even more of a mess as I get ready for a night out instead. Although it has now calmed down a bit..

I'm getting a hang of this! The new routines. With that also comes the energy to actually sit down and update without falling asleep. Process! ✌ (only took almost 2 months lmao)

Took almost a 2 hours walk by the beach today.. and met this Alien on my way there. Yuck!

Only thing that makes my time suck here are my anxiety attacks whenever I'm going out.. I need to freak out before I force myself out & then have the time of my life. Sigh, oh well! It's worth it every time.

Last Saturday; We were only 4 peeps but it still ended up being the most drunken night so far? Drinking games might have gotten out of control, very competitive. Maybe me & "D", aka The Scandinavian team, isn't the one to bet your money on. 😂 I have only felt hungover once in my life (NYE 2015/16) but this marks my second. Gosh, did I feel like shit the next day. Choices, people. 💩

Have an amazing weekend, fellow pandas!

Goodnight!

XOXO ~ PowPow

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Can I just start this post by saying how much I admire Nessa ?! I don't know how she manage to find the energy & motivation to update as often as she does - & with good content!

Sure, I have lots that has happened these past 2 weeks but when I'm about to sit down & share the lovely experiences... it suddenly seems all "Meeh". Do I make sense? haha. At least Nessa is good at summarizing everything. Will try, though!

Something I lack is good social skills. Now, I can be social - I'm not that depressing! It just can be a bit of a struggle with so many new faces/personalities around little shy me, specially when they bring their +1 along with them to gatherings/parties. See where I'm going?? Overwhelming. But it's necessary when bonding with new people.. And I have with a few when some of us from the office have decided to hang out after work. Nice, right? What the problem, Pow? Well..

During Friday (19-21th) night was this plan on meeting up in a bar together happening & none of the people I usually hang out with were going. So this time it would be me going alone & no comfortable presence awaiting. Normally, I had a little anxiety attack - should I go? What if I get treated like I'm invisible (Like so many times before in Sweden)? etc. El novio & Coco helped the through it & I ended up going. It was one of the best nights so far! Best part? me & my tablebuddy "D" bonding through great conversations on the way home at 4am. Completely opposite but yet so similar. The next day (22th of Jan) I even got asked out for a poker-themed night out, I kindly turned it down because I'm like a deer in headlights while playing poker but it was still nice of him! 😊

Isn't itweird?! That you can make yourself that paranoid? Fucking overthinking brain. The struggles of being an introvert..

Otherwise at "home" - me & my roommate are trying to find a day that fit our schedule the best. Lydia is her name & she will be leaving 1st of February, thats why we want to plan this night ahead- to leave Barca with a bang!

Tonight we are going out for hot chocolate&churros, though.

Left; I hate cooking & in Sweden I avoided it at all costs but here.. My choice is either: cook or starve. So sharing my first plate I made proudly from scratch. Right; Friday 13th of Jan. First night of bonding over drinks with roommate.

Believe in yourself & it will all work out, peeps! 💗

Until next Sunday!

XOXO ~ PowPow

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That is the word my colleagues uses when we talk about the introduction week... Greeeeeaaaaat.

Apparently everyone who once were a newbie feels the same way & yes, it is a LOT to take in..

I absolutely hate not to know what to expect & this is the reason why. If I had gotten a little heads up, some kind of preparation, I wouldn't had been feeling this way. My first day went terrible.. okay, it could have gone much worse but I totally felt out of place & had no idea what I was doing nor where I could fix that situation. I went home with a headache & feeling maybe this is too advanced for me... ?

TODAY, though, went sooo much better (Yay!!) - what a relief! Still a lot of information but this time it was much clearer too. Got tons of paper where it explains how I use/handle the system we work with & will be tested on this tomorrow (13th Jan.) iiiih! but my teamleader Justin told me not to study too hard because the test isn't life or death - it's just to see how much I understand so far. Phew. Still going study a little longer than he said because I do feel its important, personally!

Best part is that everyone's so sweet, so different from previous experiences. The only thing that sucks is that when I get nervous I, automatically, turn into a huge bright tomato... Please pray that I stop soon enough - or well, this may be my training to stop haha!

Back in Sweden I have heard that the snow has arrived.. Kinda sad I'm missing out but this is more fun, I guess. 😝

Outside the office, I honestly love the company's logo - simple yet pretty. Also, a selfie after a good process & confidence!

UGH, paperwork.. Fight, fight! Next week will be worth it!

Have a good one, peeps! ✌

XOXO ~ PowPow

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