the little things,


3 deep breaths laying on a my carpeted bedroom floor.

the bright moon in contrast to a dark blue sky.

a song which seems to take you somewhere else the first time you hear it.

your hands gently stroking your body with shower oil whilst hot water is showering you clean.

holding a loved one’s hand a little longer.

a hug you have needed longer than you realized.

the first sip of sweet vanilla tea.

seeing the message you’ve waited for on your phone.

waking up well rested after a good night’s sleep.

the view over the city at dawn.

the view over the city in the morning.

the sight of you smiling.

flairs reaching, our eyes meeting each other. and we stay there.

Diseña tu blog - elige entre un montón de plantillas listas para su uso en Nouw o diseña la tuya propia con el método de "apuntar y pinchar" - Pulsa aquí

Likes

Comments

​an older text I wanted to share here... Sorry I've been away from here, I thought for a while I didn't want to "be a part" of this blog anymore, I thought of deleting it. Impulsive Maria makes stupid decisions sometimes, but luckily I didn't delete this space. I love a blog, and I want to continue Life Right Now without shame, without regret, and with an open heart. Documenting my thoughts is one of the best things I know, so I shall continue. Join me for the ride!

Anywhosen, this is ​an older text I wanted to share here... 

It's a calm evening at work. Very silent. I'm sitting at the office, kicked off my shoes, and I wanted to take a second to just express my gratitude.

Man, I'm grateful.

You'll see this word on my blog quite a lot. It seems like I always end a post with that: Saying I'm grateful. I suppose my writing reflects how I live my life, as well.

I like to finish a yoga practice giving thanks. End the long day by giving thanks. And as much as I don't want to be repetitive on here, I truly believe you can't say it too many times. If people complain, stop writing it everywhere and keep it to yourself!

(Just kidding.)

Gratitude can really be like medicine. It guides me back to the present moment. It reminds me of what is really important. It can help shift my mood like a light switch.

But hey, sometimes your mood just is what it is. And one thought may not cure your day, but if anything it can be a reminder. The dark will not defeat the light. The light is stronger than the dark.

Being thankful doesn't neccessarily mean you are happy about everything, joyous or in love with everything. Let's keep it real. Expressing gratitude, for me, means acknowledging my blessings. Acknowledging the good stuff. It's easy to get lost in the chaos, the mind tends to focus on what's going wrong, or what could be better. Perhaps it's hard for you to think about situations in your life right now. Perhaps you ask yourself "but what do I have to be grateful for? I have nothing".

Wrong, my friend. Here's one thing: You have you.

It may seem corny, and corny it might be. But you can simply take a moment to be grateful for being alive today. For breathing. In the challenges we encounter and hardships we meet, gratitude is grounding. Remain present in this moment, and count your blessings instead of your problems. That is not ignoring your problems, and I'm not claiming they don't exist or matter. But here it is again, re-focus. Turn yourself towards the light. Acknowledge your blessings and know that you are loved. The universe sees you.

Now, I'll take a moment here and express my most sincere gratitude for a few things I thought of tonight.

Firstly, my job. I do not take my employment for granted. This job is so special for me, and I never want to seem ungrateful for it.

My honors and gratitude to my family and friends, those who have always been there, always supported me and my dreams. And you know what? Thanks to the people who let me down as well. You've played a part in my life and helped me grow.

I am thankful for my family that raised me. They gave me a foundation to prosper out of. They've allowed me to find my independence, and taught me so much that have led me to this point. They continue to support and respect me as I continue to grow, which is everything I could ever ask for.

Without these people in my life (you know who you are), I don't know where I'd be. My utmost gratitude and RESPECT to those who handle my shit and stay with me through thick and thin. I'm not the craziest bitch in town,

but I can be crazy sometimes.

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.


And thank you for reading this post.

With love,

Maria

Likes

Comments

​Jag skriver mig igenom januari. Inte här, men i min lilla svarta anteckningsbok. Det är snart februari, och 2017 har verkligen kickat igång. Jag mår bra, men jag vet inte riktigt hur jag känner. 

Jag är ganska förvirrad. Tonårskris, huh? Det har redan gått två veckor i skolan och om jag ska vara helt ärlig finns det en underliggande stress över allt. Jag tänker att jag borde göra skolarbete, men vet egentligen inte vad. Egentligen är det nog lugnt. Skolan känns så oviktig just nu, helst vill jag bara vara klar med det. Jag vill absolut göra det roliga som vi gör, eftersom jag går en så fantastisk estetisk utbildning, men resten kan faktiskt kvitta. 

Jag drömmer mig bort till andra ställen, en ganska vanlig vana denna tid på året. Men snart kommer våren. Jag kan se att det blir ljusare. Inatt somnade jag vid 1 och sov nära 12 timmar. Jag antar att det behövdes. Jag är jämnt trött, och jag vet inte vad det beror på. Jag gör yoga, jag har börjat träna mer, men om jag ska gissa så är det att skolan börjat, och det tar en liten tid att komma tillbaka till rutiner. Rutiner, de är svåra. Jag gillar dem inte. 

Det finns en oro över saker som påminner mig lite sådär varje dag. Jag försöker att inte tänka på det. Men det ger mig en klump i magen och jag känner mig frustrerad. Frustration har också varit ett tema under januari. PMS, känslig person, inte vet jag. Jag försöker att inte tänka på det. 

Jag är så väldigt glad och tacksam över att bo i Stockholm. Och jag är så väldigt tacksam över att jag funnit ett jobb. Jag börjar i februari. Att äntligen få ett jobb var som en riktig bekräftelse och "self-boost". Jag behövde den här känslan av att jag kan uppnå saker, jag kan få det jag vill och stävar emot. Men var sak tar sin tid. Åh, vad jag inser livets lärdomar. När jag började gymnasiet var jobb och lägenhet saker jag verkligen ville finna, men utan framgång. Det skulle ta ett år innan en lägenhet kom med i bilden, och ett halvår till innan jobbdrömmen verkligen uppfylldes. Var sak tar sin tid. 

Det är konstigt. Jag längtar bort, utan att egentligen veta vad jag vill. Jag har ett så otroligt betydelsefullt mantra i rockärmen, ​everything is as it should be. ​Allt är som det ska bara. Så mitt mindset är delat i två, en del som vill bort och villl göra andra saker och önskar annat, och den andra delen känner sig så lugn och glad i nuet. Den andra delen är nog den jag bör fokusera på. Det är en välsignelse, att känna sig glad i nuet. Jag har börjat sakna min familj när jag är här i Stockholm, det känns lite tomt här. Men jag skulle inte vilja flytta hem. Jag trivs så himla bra i den här lägenheten med min vän och det underlättar vardagen något otroligt. Det är faktiskt avgörande för att jag ska kunna ha det jobb jag nu har fått. Så tack för det, livet. 

Jag fyller snart arton och är det något jag längtar efter så är det det. Då jävlar. TATUERING(AR). Jag har tre som ska dit. Smack, smack, smack. 

Ett nyårslöfte som kommit upp nu lite senare är att jag ska ​sluta spendera så mycket pengar. ​Det är en utmaning, men jag måste lära mig hålla i mina pengar mer. Varför pengarna tar slut varje månad är helt enkelt på grund av alla små kostnader, lite sådär varje dag. Det flyger iväg, på riktigt. Så nu inför februari månad, då ska jag fan ha bättre koll. Jag kan ju återkomma om hur det går.

Det här är en brief overview över mina tankar just nu. Jag mår bra. Våren kommer snart. Jag ser framemot 2017. Jag är tacksam. 

Likes

Comments

Hi again,

I just spent a good moment looking back at old posts on here. It's so interesting to see your mind and what you where thinking two years ago. There are gaps on this blog and there has not really been a lot of catching up. I guess that isn't really what this space is meant for, but tonight I really felt like writing and just telling you a little bit about what's cookin'.

So we're in the last month of the year 2016. And oh my, have I things to say about this year. Time is such a weird interesting thing. I guess the fact that there hasn't been many posts on here is because I've been quite well, and there's been a lot of other stuff going on than my self hate and depression. I'm grateful for that. The real text about my thought was written August 25th. That feels like a decade ago.

I came home from Costa Rica and everything changed. And right after a journey of a lifetime my second year studying Musical Artistry started and I was basically jumping up on the saddle and starting school. Ready af! Gosh now that I try to remember I barely recall anything from August, September or October. One fun fact is that my phone broke in CR and I was without one half the autumn. It was a different experience. I got a new one in the middle of October, I think. So I literally have no pictures from these months, and sadly I couldn't save the stuff on my old phone so I lost a whole lot of pictures. I can't really remember what they were or exactly what they looked like, though.

Anyway, this fall has been SO GREAT! Why? I don't really know, a mix of things most likely. First of I moved to Stockholm with a friend in the very beginning of October. What? WHAT?

Damn, I don't even know. It all got decided in like 3 days. Louise came up a group of our friends, including me, and asked us if we knew anyone who could be her roommate in her apartment. I was looking for apartments the previous school year but with no luck, and by now I had basically given up in the idea, because it's so freaking expensive and so freaking many people interested. But now when she asked us, I thought for a moment and just realized.

Yes, yes I do. Me.

And truly this opportunity was a little too good to be true. So we agreed that we'd give it a shot. The following evening by the dinner table I presented the opportunity to my parents, and they were thankfully positive to it, and the day after that, Friday afternoon, I visited the apartment and just fell in love. Louise was just about to travel abroad that weekend, so packed up my stuff at home and two weeks later when she came home, I moved in. And it's really been working well. Moving closer to school has made such a difference on my every day life. So I'd say, after my trip, this is the biggest thing that happened this year. What more? It's funny because everyone told me before 11th grade that this would be the worst year ever, you'll die that year, for real. Now I know we're just halfway through 11th grade, but so far so good. This fall's been a lot easier than last fall.

Old routines of doing yoga every morning and writing every day have sort of vanished, though. I don't necessarily see it as a problem, I've been happy anyway and routines always come and go. I don't know how to explain this fall, moving really changed my daily life, and I don't even know what I've been up to. Time has seriously flown by and I know I always say that and you kind of always feel like that but this fall has been no joke.

It's now December, we have two more weeks in school and then it's fucking Christmas. What happened? I'm not complaining though. Honestly, I have no complains. I am so so thankful for all I have, all that's been, and all that is ahead. I feel content right now. I'm not settling, but I can not sit here and try to find problems. It is quite nice, this feeling. It's quite awesome to be happy, if that is what I am right now. I don't know how to identify it, really.

I have learnt so much this year, I'd title 2016 as The Year of Experience. I feel like I've learned a lot about myself, in all ways. When I look back at 2016 as a whole it's a thick brick of just sadness and self hate the first half of the year, then I traveled for a month and it fucking changed everything, it practically saved me, then school started and that's all a blur and now we're here. What?

But I am grateful. I am thankful for everything. The ups, the downs. It has brought me to where I am right now, and it helped me grow as a human and I have no regret. Whatever shit that was before, is past, and here I am. I'm alone in my kitchen, it's pitch black outside, candles are lit by the window and I'm chewing on an apple. It's all so simple. And it's all a miracle.

Likes

Comments

​This breath and this body

how holy life can be

my soul and this heart

which each day carries me


I am no other 

than a wanderous girl myself

fitting my dreams into a world of regret

and achievements never met 


In the evening I light a candle

and thank you, lord, for this 

this life that I've been given 

the ones I today miss


Life's movements are ones i can't control

I surrender in October 

through an autumn forrest stroll


to all of those I have yet to see

I am you, and you are me

I drag my fingers through my hair 

give the mirror a cold, empty look 

I slowly do allow

it was my self low that they took 


Leaves are falling as summer's dying still 

I like a flower bed in May

grow back what winter tried to kill 


I am in the arms of the higher power now

universe, my breath and I 

me made this vow.

Likes

Comments

Today is a good day.

I am at home, sick, and I just went outside because it's warm and beautiful. The sky is blue, and I see each day a change in the trees. Yellow and red patches. This is the last week of September, and the colors are bright. The sun s shining on my face. October and November has always been stated as the dark months for me. The time you only want time to pass as you long for Christmas. That's a shame! Every day and every moment is valuable, and you are never granted another day, only blessed.

My mindset determines a lot of things, I know this. I wrote in my calendar for October: "How Can I Embrace This Month". This Friday is October 1st and new moon but I think I can start thinking about these things already.

Prepping.

Re-evaluating.

Taking what worked this month and leaving what isn't. This has been a really important mantra for me throughout this month and it will continue to be in my meditation for sure; to love and let go. 

Love and let go.

September has been a really great month and I feel rejuvenated and energized for what's to come. I am grateful for what has been, and I am grateful for what's to come.

Mindset is everything. For this new moon, set yourself up with great intentions for the month ahead and choose to embrace each day with acceptance for what is. I can't tell myself "BE HAPPY EVERY DAY OF OCTOBER OR ELSE YOU FAIL". Be aware of the moment, accept what is. Did your day suck? Breathe, sleep, and try again tomorrow. This has been a great realisation for me. The importance of setting realistic goals and the importance of being kind to your feelings. I've talked about this before. I feel like the September days has really been eye opening to what that truly means, as I've cried and yelled and laughed and meditated but I just have to keep on going. Tomorrow is a new day.

My life is full of blessings and it is about time I truly acknowledge them and, more importantly, let go of what does not serve me. What doesn't feel right. Release what worries me, release my doubt, and completely and fully trust the universe. Choose to trust the flow of life. Have faith in the goodness of the divine will. Everything is in alignment. We may not see it, but it is clearly there. It's not meant to be seen, it's meant to be felt.

Even when it seems like nothing makes sense, trust. Trust, and let go. I'll be meditating on this mantra tonight.

I allow myself to be me, I release the self hate and judgement, I let go of the doubt.

Allow,

release,

let go.

Likes

Comments

How a leo is as a friend from the eyes of a taurus. This text is based on my own experience and analysis. Ah, the 5th sign of the zodiac, Leo. Who doesn't love leos?

They could just be my favorite type of people. They have a great fiery yet fucking emotional personality. It can definitely be "odd" or "too much" for some people, but for a taurus this is a very desired mix. Taurus craves intimacy and connection but also laugher and adventures. A leo carries a balance of both, though they are the fire sign. Look into the eyes of a leo in a conversation. You'll see that they really care, they are very attentive. You feel as if they look into your soul. If a leo isn't looking straight at you, they don't care what you're talking about. A taurus notices when they're being ignored, and this hurts them. Especially when it comes to sharing something that is close to a taurus' heart. A leo ought to either listen to a taurus, or say that they're distracted/not in for a conversation at the moment.

Just like I mentioned about aquarius, leos can be hard to reach when they're in a bad mood. Conflict rarely happens, but when it does it is challenging with these two signs. If a leo is angry they will be:

1. Quiet, stone faced and cold.

2. Explosive, swearing and screaming which'll probably result in a burst of tears.

Don't tell them to "chill", one of the worst things a leo knows is to be trapped and constrained. Ask how they are and they'll say "fine" and walk away from you. If they're quiet, give them space. This is most often a sign they need to think or feel what they're feeling, alone. You are better off asking them the next day, "did something happen yesterday?"

That's an important thing to mention about leos: because of their fire element, they are expressive, strong headed and rock solid, however they have this incredibly deep persona and emotional soul. This makes them creative and warm hearted. But you won't see them cry in front of you. You might think they're so tough they never shed a tear. Wrong, my friend. A leo is strong with a beautiful charisma, but they are often invisibly unstable inside. They can actually be the people with the worst self confidence, though they carry themselves like fucking bosses. Be kind to a leo, don't make patronising jokes about them. Give them you're genuine appreciation, they most likely need to hear it.

Luckily, taurus is good at this. The bull is warm hearted and soft, something the leo acknowledge. Taurus makes sure their friend knows how much they love them, and as much as a leo tries to hide their emotions under a tough expression, a taurus notices. With taurus as a friend the leo can be honest with the emotions they fear or are ashamed to have, and a taurus will always give them their support.

Leos has incredible personalities which the taurus just cannot ignore. On the surface they can look like completely opposite people, but the signs do share their secluded similarities, They not only have fun together but they understand each other on a deeper level, which both people appreciates excessively.

Likes

Comments

This text is based on my own experience, research and reflections.

I highly doubt it's a coincidence so many people in my life are/have been Aquarius. They're just beloved souls. They’re all around in my life; one of my brothers, some of my absolute best friends. Aquarius are great, but sometimes tricky. They radiate so much when you’re in their presence. An aquarius teaches taurus to have fun, not be afraid and they’re the best on discussions. In return the taurus is a safe ”place”, they're the best advice givers and their tranquil nature can be a relief for the sometimes crazy aquarius. It’s also a relationship which helps them ground, and see reality. An aquarius relaxes with taurus and can fully be themselves, they don’t need to act a certain way or ”keep the show going on”, which they have a tendency to do.


It’s often said aquarius are free-spirited. Indeed, they kind of have their own way and approach towards things. This can be a challenge for taurus, who normally wants things to be as they please. They also both share the lovely trait of not knowing how to deal or be honest with their emotions. They shut down, which in a conflict only confuses the other part. Both signs need to reach out and ask what’s up, once or twice.

But taurus and aquarius truly have a lovely compatibility. They know how to make the other one feel good in any situation. But warning! Aquarius are human sensors. They see and notice much more than you think. Be aware of your body language. You honestly can’t fool an aquarius, nobody reads a person better than these people. A taurus does this as well, for they are both feelers. But aquarius might just be mind readers.

The beautiful thing about an aquarius friendship is that once you get to know them, it’s damn hard to let them go. If anything, they’ll be impossible to forget.

Likes

Comments

Something about this moment.

I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

What a miracle it is to be alive. I am thinking; I like this feeling. I could feel this more often in my life. What a miracle this moment is. The evening sun shining it's last rays on the trees. The music playing in the livingroom. Dad just put on coffee. It is Monday evening and something in me really makes me want to thank this moment. Give thanks, for everything.

And there it goes. The sun, coloring it's sky golden and pink. I don't know what it is, I just feel good. It's not really like you can turn depression or a mental illness on and off like a light switch. But I feel like something inside me was really tired of feeling the way I did. Like, it sucks. And after a time you really feel like there is nothing worth hoping for. But in the universe's alignment I went to Costa Rica and I got up from that dark tunnel. I feel a new optimism in myself.

There is a strong light, bright and beautiful, then it goes down. Darkness overwhelmes one's soul with scattered stars. The darkness seems very long lasting, but the sun comes up. The light shows again. And so it goes. There is darkness and there is light. Like then sun of day, as is life.

I put on my jacket and sat outside. The air is cool and crisp. I really like this when it comes to Sweden. Cool, bright and alive.

I love Costa Rica, I love the ocean and traveling makes me happy. But I believe I fail to see so much beauty that is around me where I am now, I always praise something else and somewhere else. I believe it's about the little things, too. I can compare places. Yet all and all, I am me.

And Sweden has it's magnificence. I believe somehow this will always be home. You can have multiple homes. This place holds so many memories and chapters that could not possibly have been written anywhere else. Damn, this moment really is beautiful.

No one said life was easy. We are strong, us people. We are strong and we keep going and maybe that is one of our greatest traits.


Likes

Comments

Are you a coffee fanatic?

A lover of coffee shop dates with friends?

Do you just dream of rainy autumn days with a cup of hot beverage in your hands, soft tunes playing in your headphones?

Are you also unemployed and can't afford a 5 dollar coffee every day?

Girl, I got you covered.

I have a strong belief that with 1. coffee 2. chocolate 3. milk of choice , you can't really fail. You dare to try? Well, today I really craved a sweet cup of somethin' (ok), so I headed to the kitchen and found two rows of dark chocolate in the fridge. We also had an unopened package of soy milk.

I think this might be it.

Together with George Ezra on Spotify I created my little treat for this Sunday night. Better keep the recipe. I'll save this one for later! Later, meaning the gloomy days of October and November when the only possible thing cheering me up is a latte at Wayne's. But this time we ain't talking about Wayne's Coffee.

(I love you, please employe me)

I'll stop talking crap and actually share this recipe with you.


Vegan Chocolate Coffee Drink Beverage Mocha Delicious Hot Latte Vegan..

I don't know what to call this. Just create.

For one big cup you'll need:

- Milk (I used soy)
- Dark chocolate
- Coconut sugar
- Dark roast coffee (or instant coffee if you prefer't)
- A little cacao powder for decoration

Honestly guys, I don't really dig measurements. I'm great at this. I had more milk than coffee, I suggest you combine little by little and taste as you go. I put in about 2 tablespoons of coconut sugar.

1. Brew coffee as you normally do.

2. In a saucepan, pour in the milk. Brake the chocolate in pieces and put those in. Stir around till the chocolate has melted.

3. Add coconut sugar and blend it together. Heat up the milk, but don't let it boil.

4. Pour a little milk in a cup and heat in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Mix with hand or a mixer till foamy.

5. Combine the chocolate milk with coffee as you like it, more coffee will make it more bitter, more milk will make it sweeter.

6. Lastly, pour (or whatever you do with foam) the milk foam and top with some cacao powder.

ENJOY!!!

Bliss. Absolute bliss. Enjoy this sweet and simple recipe.

pictures are not mine.

Likes

Comments