Hey ho. What's Up. Yes, Yes. I'm backkkk! Haha. Missed me? Probably not. But I'm going to tell you what happened today. I reckoned it'll be in the student's history books.

Let's start from this morning. Mum told me to be careful. Today's the day that everyone's been waiting for, since like last year or so. It is exciting and nerve wrecking. Today's the day that finally our gorvernor has his freedom and justice. Or so we thought.

Turns out, the bloody constitution found him guilty. In what ways, I did not know. He verdict two years in jail. Like what the hell. Why are you locking innocent people up? And this time, the whole wide world knows. It's an idiotic thing to do, judge.

And that's why, millions of people are waiting in front of the jail, lighting the candles and bringing white rose with them. And wait, until our innocent governor got bailed out, no matters what.

Of course for the day, everyone was pissed. My instagram story was filled with angry people, trying to cheer themselves up. By saying everything's going to be alright at the end.

I spoke to dad about it, and he told me to think this as like a conspiracy thingy. Like in movies, we don't know what's happening. You know, like the White House Down. Or Skyfall and Spectre. Only a bit longer.

So here's some theories I imagined. It's fictional guys, I thought I'll cheer you up
1. What If, the leader of the bad guy, isn't who we thought he was. We all knew who we thought the bad guy's alpha. But what if he wasn't it? What if he's actually the second man of the president?
2. What if, there's somekind of kiddnapping involved, and everyone was trying to find this kid. The last information was carried by a person in jail, so they sent the most powerful people to jail, to find out about the information?
3. What if, he was sent there in hope to clear some people away, so on the independence day, a lot of people will be here, so a lot of bad guys could be caught.

The last one was kinda religious. Here we go

4. God sent the governor to jail, so he could kindly make some people be good guys. So, when the day they would be freed, they would help keep the world peace.

I know. The theories are kinda impossible, but who knows? It cheered me up, though. We all should think this as a conspiracy.

So yeah. Try to think positive, and he'll be freed in no time.


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I might go to jail for this, but I can't hide it.

Now, as you all may or not know. Today's date is 31-03 which means, demonstation for Jakarta. *sigh* I'm actually tired of this shit. Their request is to make the Jakarta's Governor fired. But seriously, why does that concern the not-Jakarta's citizen? And the thing that I'm pissed is that they didn't think of others. They think their mighty? Well. What about the others, you know? Catholics, Christians, Budhist, etc. You think they've learned their mistakes by now, that he didn't mean it like that. What a narrow minded. Sometimes, what they said in tv and radios really hurt others. I think they're the reason that Indonesia is kinda in this condition right now. I don't think it's about the gorvernor anymore. It's more like making the people pay, but really, they should know that more, and a lot of their people has said something bad about us before, but we didn't make it that big deal, so why now? Is that even fair? If I'm right, there's a theory in one of the studies, which was thinking about the country's need first, and then yours. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to act like that, not only by words.

And really, we have a lot of people to deal with it, there's the judges, there's a constitution. No need to add it more. You're just mad that he's innocent. And he was now seemed as guilty for the sake of the country's unity. I think they need to grow up. Why can't they see that it's affecting the country? Why not end it with peace. Because you know, we don't need another war in the country. The world is already a war. Why not just donate the money to people who needs it. See? Peace. Innocent. Grateful. Helping.

I'm using my right to say what I'm thinking. Although I'm still young, I think I deserve to say it. Thanks.




You don't need to read, if you don't want to.

Hey, Hey! If you don't notice, the picture above is from the lyrics, Strong by One Direction!

Anyway. The title's a bit serious as of right now. I'll give you some updates. There's no something big happening as if right now. But I'll talk anyway.

The country's still one, and I'm super glad, it's going to be over soon. I'm scared of the result though. Because the result of this gorvernor choosing thingy, will affect the whole country. And I mean it. It destined our future as a country.

How's school? Busy as heck. But not unordinary, school is always busy. Homeworks are insane, and tests everyday. And the mid-term exam is approaching, slowly, but killing. There's this one project, it was called Praktek Cinta Kasih. It was a project to show some love towards people in the city. My group, chose to go to an orphanage. And it's super stressing me out. But it's going to be over soon.

Social? Still the usual, bully-not situation. Lately, it's not that bad anymore, and I don't think if it's because they don't hate me anymore, or I'm already used to it, and I don't know if it's positive or negative. But it's bearable.

That doesn't include somethings though. I'll explain.

This project thing. Doesn't take a toll on only the leader, but it's stressing everyone out too. It's on this Saturday 12. It's near, and stressing. Why?

So it was smooth for over three months, until this last week. Originally, we decided it's a good idea to just go to school and wait for the others so we can go together. It was all planned out.

Until last week, when the media announced that there's going to be a demonstation. My school is located in Central Jakarta, which means that the road going there's going to be close. My group can't decide where to meet up.

And when I told them where I think is the best location. They started to disagree with wrong words. I admited that I've slept in a lot of classes, but he did too. And he called me a sleephead. How ironic. He even sleep more than I do, and he called me a sleephead.

I don't know if it's because of the stress or I'm tired. But I snapped back. And it's in a group chat, so my group can read it. And I called him out, and told him I don't like him.

What happened the next day? My words of 'calling him out' was out there, in the classroom as a joke for them. How nice. And you know what's best? My best friend, she's not in the group, started talked about it as a joke. Though she didn't know the meaning behind of it.

Why would someone joke about something when they didn't know the meaning behind it?

And maybe it's my heart that's sensitive, or it meant to hurt, but it did. It rage me. I'm so close to just punching someone black and blue, unfortunately, the teacher's there explaining, and I'll probably stressing the leader of the project. So I keep it. Until break time, and I snapped at my best friend.

We're okay now. Don't worry.

But today has been bearable. Only because I don't care about them. But if they say it in front of me one more time, I swear I'll kill someone. Kidding. Or not.

By the last class, We were asked to create a short story. Now, one thing about me is that I have a lot of fiction story I could create, but I'm bad at writting novels, but it' a short story, alas, here is it. It's Indonesian, I hope you all won't mind.

But yeah, that's it. xxLifeBehindxx

ps. I'm dying for valentine day. I hope there's no couple in front of me showing affection. I might throw something at them.



Hello! It's boring, if you don't want to read it, I advice you to not.

We all know there's no connection of the picture and the things I'm writing. But here we go.

Today has been my worse days. We all know the society where I'm living right now, isn't good. Today is one of those days, when you felt like the world is hating on you. Usually that's because you're in a bad day. I'm not. Here it goes,

We had gym today. And it's a free period, because the teacher was absent. And so, we played balls. Some plays football(soccer), volley, or basketball. When it's kinda died a bit, and everyone's tired. The boys in my class were playing football behind me. And I know they said sorry, but I can't think that it's intentionally that they kick the ball to me, and the ball hit my shoulder, I think they missed my head. And I got the confirmation when the friend I talked to was reported winking at her friends behind.

If that didn't make it bad enough. Basically, we have this project to visit orphanages and do some works. She asked about the meeting that I was in, but she wasn't. Someone commented that it's better when I'm not around. And all I can do is pretend that it's a joke. But I know it's not.

Lately, I've been looking at myself at the mirror, asking, What's wrong with me? Am I not pretty? Do I look like a slut? What should I do? Why am I doubting myself? Why am I alive?

The second one is obviously, already proven, that I'm not pretty. Don't need people telling me about it, I've realised.

That's the society I've been dealing with lately, it's a harsh and truth. For a second there, I tried pleasing everyone. But it didn't change anything did it? Nope. It doesn't. It's like they don't care. Is the world full of judgement? I hate the world.

I guess it's the finding yourself process. For a second there, it's like I don't know who I am anymore, it's like I'm losing myself. And just like what Connor Franta said, I'm in an identity crisis. What should I do? XxLifeBehindxx

Ps. Bye



Be warned. It'll probably boring to you all.

Hi! It's been quite a time since I've been updating. And here I am. Honestly, I don't know what's been happening. I felt like my life's a blur right now, and I'm trying to focus it.

For starter, I finally learn to talk in foreign languages, other than English and Chinese. If I say I can talk Germany, I can't. And Yeah,

It also lead me to remember yesterday. Friday is a good day for school. Why? Because most of the teachers didn't bother to come to our class, and that's Art. He's currently away, and we all know, it's a free period, even if he did give us work to do.

Somehow, when me and my friends, yes I have friends, were talking, we somehow came in realisation that

whatever happen in grade 7th-9th, it's the best time of our lifes, no matter if it hurts or happy.

And we missed it alot, but we can't turn back time, so it's best if we just make it count right now. After all, everyone said that high school is their favourite time of their lifes. We also came in realisation that whatever happened before, affect us in different ways, it makes us who we are today.

And somehow, we began to talk about kindergarden. Until now, I didn't know how we're talking about it, but we did. One of my friend, had a male best friend, and she remember everything about him, but his name. She remember what he looked like, what they did, everything, except his name. And I don't know why, but I'm interested to find the guy. I know it's kinda impossible, but every fairytales should be possible. I don't know if it's my romance-fiction's instict or something, but I'm helping my friend having her romance story. Is it ironic? The forgotten best friend. I'd call that if I wrote about it.

I, myself had a best friend when I'm that young. I too remember him, and what he does. But different from her, I do remember his name. Unfortunately, when we're going to the first grade, he went aboard to Australia. Is it Sydney or Melbourne, I can't remember. But yeah, I know him, still.

Will it be cute if my friend finally found her childhood best friend? But I remember what she said,

"I've heard that woman's mind are not as forgetful as male's. So, I'm pretty sure he had forgotten about me"

Nu-uh. No can do sister. I'm going to find him, one way or another. But I'm going to.

Anyway, yeah that's it. What else? Oh! I've finally posted some fan fiction on wattpad. It called depressed. It's a Harry Styles' one shot. And it's cringy worthy. I don't recommended it. Just saying I've post it, and complete it.

Follow my instagram @lifebhnd

And yeah. Bye! xxLifeBehindxx

ps. I now know why I detached myself from socially active. It's a good reason psychologically.



no hate for whatever I wrote in here

Hello. It's 2017!
You would think, somethig will change. Turns out, it does'nt. I'm still short, still kinda asocial, still not liking school, the weather didn't change, the tree didn't grow bigger, and lastly, DRAMA DIDNT GO AWAY.

Everyone knows what happened on new years. The Hello Tommo, Hello Neil thingy, the #Louniellaisoverparty, also, the Ed's New Music. thank goodness the last one was positive. I would talk about that. But there's something bothering me more.

A lot of yous, probably know Saffron Barker and Jake Mitchell. How Jake cheated on Saffron. And it's actually, not that new. It happened before christmas, but I just found out now. And it's been bothering me that some people just can't stop commenting. Like damn, Jake's last video is full of hates. And everyone know Jake changed in his last video, he's more flirty and things. But, it's an old news. STOP THE DAMN THING!

There's even a lot of videos showing Jake's proof of cheating on Saff. But, seriously, what if they already broken up before the cheating happens? Like we don't know anything, and yet, there's hates. Thinking they knew everything, YOU DONT FCKING KNOW.

It didn't happened to only Jake and Saff. There's also Connor and Troye. Like are they even dating? I remember seeing someone commenting on Connor's vid, he's sorry for Con and Troye splitting. Seriously, what if they're not dating? And also there's Con and Tyler fighting. What if they just live the diffrent life? There's also drama around 1D, Brianna is getting hate, I don't know if the hate is dirrected to Bri or to Freddie. But HATE MUST STOP.

The world is fulled with secrets and what ifs. You can't just assumed something happened. Maybe it's right, maybe it's not. You just don't fucking know, and that's because they make it as their privacy. Privacy means no publics. So stop trying to know.

Okay that's it. I don't mean to disturb y'all new year with this post, but that's so irritating. I probably post another one later. xxLifeBehindxx

ps. Jake's video is still good. So that must count something



Jinggle bell-Jinggle bell, Jinggle all the way.

Hello everyoneeeee! it's christmassss! it's the most beautiful of the year. I love christmas! it's about joy, singing, eating, going to places, eating. i lied, I don't like eating, it's a waste of time. and it's about joy! there's no snow in Indonesia, there's no actually real festive thing in here, but we take what we got. Something else I find out, is that, In Australia, Santa came in a sleigh(?) pulled by a kangaroo, is it? I have a question! how could the kangaroo pulled him? he jumps?

Anyway! I got some presents yesterday? the Christmas Eve. it's practically Christmas though, we unwrapped it at 12am, so. anyway, I got some good stuffs. I got a sunglasses from my aunt. thing is, I bought a sunglasses for my sister for 300k. sigh. it's like buy one get one. A sweater that I wanted from my sister, she bought it in front of me, and I didn't even realised. what else did I get. hmmm. anyway, giving is more important than receiving. truthfully, I didn't buy any of it except for my families, I didn't even wrapped it for my sister. Do you know how hard it is to find a perfect present? Yeah. so, today I woke up, rather unplanned. I planned to wake up in the morning to go to church, I didn't wake up. I woke up at 11am, I took a bath and went to a christmas lunch. it was good. then I went a mall, it's near, but it's good. we bought a tongsis. it's a photo stick thingy(?) it's for tommorow, we're going out of the countries, (I haven't packed and it's night) So, yeah. I'm going to pack right now. xxLifeBehindxx

ps. I also got a new phone! Thanks Mum!

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