Tonight I've made a hard decision. But now I'm not sure that it was the right one. When I'm with him it feels like something is missing, but now when it's all over I feel alone. When I was with him it was all good but also when I wasn't. I'm not sure what I feel because it changes every second. He's in love with me and he is the kindest man I ever met but it's something that's missing. I'm a real mess, how will I get through this? Why do I feel like I'm alone? What's wrong with me?
I struggle with living to far in the future or to far back in the past. I compere every guy with someone else. I find every little thing that bothers me and it takes over. Why do I do that? I'm scared of everything. So how can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
It's like everything I've been through doesn't heal. Like it's there all the time and pops up now and then. It takes a strong man to handle a broken woman. But how can I still be broken? I'm lost within myself. How will I get out?
It's not always easy to be a mom. I don't smile everyday but I smile most of my time. Every mom in this world have at some point felt misfit. Like their not good enough for anyone and themselves. But you know what? Your job is important. Anyone who rocks the cradle, rules the world! Only you can be the best mom to your child. When God couldn't be everywhere he created the mom. See the little things because that's what matters the most. Your child loves you for who you are and you should love yourself for who you are. When I see the smile on my sons face, I'm proud over my self because I created him. And that's the greates gift in this life.