Tonight I've made a hard decision. But now I'm not sure that it was the right one. When I'm with him it feels like something is missing, but now when it's all over I feel alone. When I was with him it was all good but also when I wasn't. I'm not sure what I feel because it changes every second. He's in love with me and he is the kindest man I ever met but it's something that's missing. I'm a real mess, how will I get through this? Why do I feel like I'm alone? What's wrong with me?
I struggle with living to far in the future or to far back in the past. I compere every guy with someone else. I find every little thing that bothers me and it takes over. Why do I do that? I'm scared of everything. So how can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
It's like everything I've been through doesn't heal. Like it's there all the time and pops up now and then. It takes a strong man to handle a broken woman. But how can I still be broken? I'm lost within myself. How will I get out?
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