So I went to another Ayahuasca ceremony (read my first two blog posts if you don't know what Ayahuasca is). It was mentally harder this time before the ceremony. I had done the special diet (mostly vegetarian, almost vegan, no alcohol and abstaining from sex) for about a week but when I woke up on the day of the ceremony I didn't feel prepared, mentally. I was supposed to use my friend's car this weekend but it didn't work out. And the ceremony is too far to uber. So I reserved a rental car. When I showed up at the rental place it turned out the company doesn't exist anymore. At least I hadn't paid anything, but now I didn't have a car. I walked to another car rental place but they only rent for two days and with the deposit fee I didn't have enough money on my card. I called the shaman, and explained that I didn't feel mentally prepared and that it didn't work out transportation-wise. He called some people going there from my area but no one answered, so I was like "Okay I'm not supposed to do it today, I'll do it in a couple of weeks". Then my savior appeared. She had missed the shaman's call but now called back and told him I could go with her. So I jumped in an uber 30 min to her place and I was so confused. I was actually scared about the ceremony for the first time, because I had a bad feeling about it, that it was not a good day for me to do it. If the person who was about to bring me would have been of bad energy, I would have been even more scared. But this woman was amazing. She has this wonderful energy and light and I felt so calm and ready for the ceremony.
The ceremony was absolutely amazing (I was gonna say "out of this world-amazing" but now I know how magically fantastic this world can be so that expression doesn't really make sense anymore). The music was, in lack of better words, breathtaking, amazing and wonderful times 1000. I think I need to make up new words because the vocabulary we have doesn't give this experience justice. The different songs and instruments brought me to different places spiritually and this time around I was dealing a lot with others' energies. At first I was thinking, why does bad energy exist? Why is there not only good energy? Then I realized that the bad energy is there for us to be able to distinguish and enjoy the good energy. Also, we can use the bad energy to grow stronger, to evolve. I dealt with bad energies and struggles of the others at the ceremony and of people I know. It can be a little tough to feel the presence of these bad energies, but the whole time you know the greatest force in the universe is love and nothing really bad can happen to you. I helped curing these people and my family members by accumulating all the bad energy as mucus, and spitting it out. I have felt for a long time that I'm here to help others, to make as many people as possible happier and able to enjoy life more. But first I need to make more progress on my own spiritual journey before I can start helping others.
I really felt connected to the true me, to my soul. Every time you drink Ayahuasca you peel of layers that are blocking your true self, layers that you have created by years of society. Drugs on the other hand, though they might make you feel great at the moment, are experts of creating these bad layers on top of your soul. Ayahuasca is not a drug as some people mistakingly think. It's an all natural medicine made out of two plants. Why would they even be there, healing us in this way, if not for us to use? Have you ever missed a sensation you used to feel as a child? A special coziness? A feeling of living more in the moment than you do nowadays? Pure bliss? A happiness that you just not quite feel anymore? When you drink Ayahuasca you have a high level of DMT in your body, which you also have when you are born. In a way you can feel reborn after an Ayahuasca ceremony. Reborn, refreshed, with new amazing energy and creativity and eagerness to live. Your soul gets to rest, and although Aya's effect only lasts for about 5-6 hours, time is relative and it feels like you've rested for a long time. At least that's how I feel.
This time I had some incredibly beautiful visuals, and it didn't matter if my eyes were closed or open, I had the same visuals. I can't even explain with words what I saw.
This ceremony I learned to accept the fact that there's bad energy, and that I have to use it to make me stronger, but also "tune in to" and focus on the good energies, the beautiful aspects of life, the good vibes out there. I want to attract them and generate them and spread them around me. Coming back to society and the big city life after a ceremony is easy at first when the Ayahuasca is still in my body, but when it starts to vanish it's all up to me to keep my mind focused on the good vibes. Yoga and meditation are the keys for me, and many others. The other day I had a stressful morning with bad energies and I was in a weird mood. A friend of mine then said "Maybe the Ayahuasca is not serving you after all?" The thing is, it makes me more sensitive to all kinds of energies, so I just need to learn how to control it all. I'm learning more and more everyday and 99% of the time I'm happy and peaceful. There are backlashes when bad thought patterns from the past catch up on me, I can feel the bad energy all through my body and it's so hard to control it, but I'm getting better and better at it. I, like all people and all animals, am a being of universal light, of universal love. On my spiritual journey I keep peeling of bad layers that block my pure soul, my true self. You too, can do this. You might wonder when I say all people are beings of universal light and love, what about the bad people that commit actions of hate? I personally believe that they, too, are beings of universal light and love that have a lot of layers of hate and negative energy that they need to peel of. Many of these "bad people" die with these layers on top of their soul, but I believe they reach their realization, either in an afterlife, or by reincarnating getting to live on Earth again and again until they have healed and become pure.
To all of you wonderful human beings out there, bring out the best of you! You are universal light, so shine bright! You are a being of love, spread it around you!
Namasté ( "I bow to the light within you" )