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Last night I found my myself screaming, crying and repeatedly telling myself "I can't do this anymore".

You were the one telling me to get away from all the negative people in my life. For that I'm thanking you. Last night you made me realize you were the one thing I had to get away from.

- K.J

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Trapped.
By my own feelings and thoughts. Like a tiny box, you barely fit and it's even harder to get out.
I've hit rock bottom.
I'm screaming and screaming but not a single soul can hear me.
How do I get up?
I don't know.

- K.J

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I'd say its strange when the one you used to talk to everyday suddenly can have so much anger towards you, that he can now tell you to "go and die" now to me thats interesting. 

- K.J

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Overthinking can drive you crazy.
It eats you up alive. Slowly and painful.

- K.J

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Den här bilden hittade jag på tumblr idag, och jag måste bara säga att kommentarerna på den här bilden är värmer mitt hjärta otroligt mycket och kände verkligen för att dela med mig. För det här är något alla borde läsa, alla.


Fuck this.
Fuck this post so much.

Do not tell me
your best friend
would not sit in at your lunch table
for three fucking days
just staring blankly at your old seat
wishing that you were there
to fill the space with laughter.

Do not tell me
your younger brother
would not break down
in the middle of class
because you guys started talking about
your favorite type of subject
in school.

Do not tell me
your mother
would not stare into the mirror
with trembling lips
wishing she could be
bringing you home from the hospital
rather than having to escort you away
in a casket to the nearest graveyard.

Do not tell me
your father
would not begin working
the night shifts
to distract himself
of the silence at home
because you’re not up
until the ungodly hours of the night
talking to what’s-his/her-face
on the phone
because you guys are so in love.

Do not tell me
your boyfriend/girlfriend
would not go into your room
and put on the last hoodie you wore
trying to desperately imprint
your scent onto their skin
so they never forget your smell.

Do not tell me
your friends
would not stare blankly
at the gymnasium wall
after the principal has announced
your death
to the entire school
making no sound
trying to convince themselves
this is just another one of
your impractical jokes.

Do NOT fucking TELL ME
this bullshit line
of how the stars would still appear
the sun would still come out
the earth would still rotate
and the seasons will still change
because without YOU
you lil beautiful piece of human being
none of these people will want
ANY of that to happen.

So yes.

Fuck this.

Fuck this post so much.

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The way we are together, the things we can say, the way we look at each other, the way we touch, the way our bodies feel pushed up against one another's. To me, it's like coming home after a long, tough day at work. It doesn't matter how long it's been, if we see each other everyday or if we haven't seen each other for years. It doesn't matter, a hug like yours is irreplaceable. It makes me feel so much, things words can't even describe. It's this feeling that goes through your whole body. A good feeling. That type of feeling is how I feel when you hold me, or when you're next to me.
We have had our ups and downs, we have hated and we've loved. But a single touch by you, and only you. Makes everything okay. Just don't forget about me, don't forget about us. What we had was beautiful, no one can take that away from me. Because, when I need to get home, you're my guiding light.
-K.J

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I'm pissed off. I'm so upset, sad, disappointed, angry, all in one. I just can't... Why... Can I just stop!?
Going through old pictures of us on my computer, and it pisses me off how much I miss our memories. Time heels everything, but it doesn't make the memories you shared any less... Special.
I don't like you anymore. I can't even like you, you've changed for the worse. It fucking sucks to look back and see how much the person you loved dearly, now is one of every other person you can't stand. I'm not sad because of us, I'm sad because of you. If you change you should always change for the better not the worse. I wish I could still be there for him, god I wish I could be there for him.

Tonight is the night I leave all of it behind me. 

- K.J

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Can you ever listen to someone's voice and feel so much love and you catch your whole body shivering. For a second or two everything just stops and the only thing you are focusing on is his voice and how your body is shivering because of it.
You can feel it all the way from your feet up to your spine.
His smell, his touch and his love. You get all wrapped around it and you are feeling safer than ever and you never want to leave his arms because you suddenly call it home.
The boy who ones was a stranger is now your only focus and there is no one. Absolutely no one...
Who can take his place.

- K.J

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The words go "I know love because I've experienced what it's like to be without it."
I lived and I loved. I fought and I struggled. I fucked up and I made right. I did wrongs and I did rights.
Loosing someone you love isn't easy. You start questioning yourself if you'll ever get over him or if you'll ever be able to love again. Whoever you find you'll compare to him.
Until that one day when you'll find someone who can make you feel so much without him having to speak. In silence I can still hear you. I can still hear you.
- K.J

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Do you ever think about how a song can make you feel all of these feelings. A special song, a song lyric or a beat can make you feel sad, happy, tired or mad. A song can even make you cry. But what's so wonderful about music is that a special song you like can spell out all of the things you're afraid to say. It can tell you exactly how you are feeling and you don't even have to open your mouth to try to explain because that song does it for you.
I could never live without music.
It's to powerful.

- K.J.

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