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For Azalea.

One of the toughest times to go through in life is when we are in our teens, still in school and don't really have an understanding of what it will be like in the "real world". Everyone is going through their own shit, no one is a fully developed human both physically or mentally, which makes us all do and feel strange things. Grown ups act weird and say weird things that we don't believe and/or understand.

It's so unfair that your entire life is this tiny bubble that only fits the town you live in, the school you go to, friends (if you have any) and family (if you have one). It's unfair, 'cause this bubble makes things feel like the end of the world, when in fact the world is so much bigger than the little bubble you're in.

I can think back to 10 years ago and remember how the smallest things, that no longer matter today, were blown up to insane proportions. I can look back and see all these people who were the most successful, prettiest, most popular etc. and look at them now and just ask myself why we all looked up to them so much.

Somehow it feels like all the bullies and all the mean people from back them are still stuck in their little bubble, being a huge fish in a tiny tiny pond and the rest of us have grown up and entered the real world instead. What pains me is that there are so many children that never get the chance to experience the real world because of what happens in that teenage-bubble...

I know for a fact that as a teenager, a "grown up" (am I a grown up??) telling you that "it gets better" or "it won't matter in five years" doesn't mean anything. It doesn't make your pain hurt less, it doesn't take any pressure off your school work or job. It doesn't make a heartbreak feel like butterflies. But I want to tell you anyway 'cause nothing is more true. This shitty time as a teen will not last forever. There is so much life to live outside of the bubble and every single child deserves to break free and experience it for themselves.

Your dreams are important. YOU are important! I'm not spiritual at all, but I do believe that every single one of us have a purpose. A purpose that we can pick and choose for ourselves, but a purpose nonetheless.

Being different, being a "nerd", being "ugly" seem to be legit reasons for others to pick on you, but trust me. Like I have said in some of my other videos - these bullies are SCARED of being different, and they are scared of all of us that are different or were different when we were younger. Being unique in the bubble might feel terrible and like the worst thing that could ever happen, but in the real world outside of the bubble, being unique is the most fabulous thing you could ever be!

What I'm trying to say is that I know a lot of my followers are going through shit in their lives, for various reasons. We are all unique, we are all special and we are all needed in this world. I wish I could clone myself, go to every school across the world and befriend every lonely, bullied person out there 'cause THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. The people who have real issues are those who deliberately HURT others to strengthen their own position in the stupid bubble. These are the people who deserve to feel what you are feeling, you deserve to be happy and feel loved and follow your dreams.

Sadly I can't be friends will all of you guys, but if you are reading this, I hope you will consider joining my Facebook group 'cause we are all friends there. We support each other, despite not being physically close... So if you ever need a friend, we're all here: KAT'S KOMPISAR.

And if you want a little pep-talk, I made this video a while back that might help just a little.

Yeah my lips look weird as shit, I know haha.

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I did it!! This series took two or three weeks to film haha, but now all episodes are up on my channel! I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed it, and if you haven't seen it yet, check out all the episodes here in this post. :) It feels great to have gotten rid of so much crap from the apartment that has just been taking up space 'cause we are too lazy to get rid of it. I hope it can inspire you to do the same!

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After posting this on Instagram I got a comment saying "Global warming is real? Aren't you the one who keeps eating animal products?" hahaha. MEANING all people who contribute to global warming are also by default deniers of its existence.

Isn't it great when people online know more about your life and your choices than you do? I sure think so!

Anyway. Just got back from my sixth driving lesson. Today I backed around some corners, did some different kinds of turns and also started parking a bit. Next lesson will be all parking so wish me luck! I feel like I'm improving every lesson but it's still difficult to remember all details haha...

The plan for the rest of today is unknown. I kinda want to do a live stream 'cause it was SO long ago I did one. But I also have to head over to the office to pick some stuff up. We also have to get some more meds for Rascal and get some snacks for him to keep busy with on New Year's when we're having friends over. :)

What are your plans for New Years? I'm usually not a huge fan of doing anything at all, but it's nice to have friends over at our place at least. Have some nice food and play some games.

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Good morning guys!

I have had a shitty few days after Christmas so I haven't done much work at all. Christmas was really nice, but the days after I felt so exhausted that I couldn't do much else. It's frustrating to be so tired all the time.

Today I thought I'd update you guys a little on Rascal's situation since there have been some changes. About 9 weeks ago we changed his meds to a kind that really seemed to work great. A few weeks in he had very minor seizures where he did not lose consciousness or lose his balance or anything. These seizures only last around 15 seconds and are mainly in his head (not body/muscles) and are seizures you could technically live with so there is not major reason to up the dose of the medication.

It kept working and we felt like we had finally found something that really works! He went from having seizures every two weeks to not having one for 9 whole weeks. But then on Tuesday morning we wake up from him falling/jumping out of bed mid seizure and landing on the floor with full cramps in his entire body. Luckily this seizure didn't last long, but it was full blown like the others he has had.

We have not been able to get ahold of the vet yet so we do not know what this means med-wise... but we are guessing that we will up the dose and hope for the best, yet again. 9 weeks is good, but of course we want him to be completely seizure free. Or at least not have more than one seizure per year or so...

It's very sad and frustrating. A lot of people recommend different experimental treatments but at this time we will stay on the path that our vet has recommended since it feels like it's quite close to working.

As always he's his normal happy self between all the seizures so he's not suffering from it that much. We just don't want it to get worse!

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Good evening!

I just finished doing my stress/relaxing exercise for the day (part of my therapy). I thought I'd check in with y'all here now before Christmas. :) Today I have baked some Christmas candy to bring along when we visit my family tomorrow, and Sonny and I made some Christmas meatballs when he got home from work. They turned out great, both my baking and the balls.

Yesterday I made a trip down to Gothenburg for a meeting with a company I will be working with in 2018, and it was really nice to meet them all. I also got the opportunity to speak to one of their career coaches and it was very interesting. I will be staying in contact with him for some time which I think will be very helpful along with my therapy sessions. I get to know myself a lot better and I gain some tools to deal with the issues I have and what I struggle with.

One of the thinks we talked about was setting goals, which is something I struggle with a lot. The thing that motivates me the most in life is a vision of our future house. Daydreaming about the future has always motivated and inspired me, and the career coach pointed out that I'm closer to that goal than I might think... I was confused since I don't feel very close to it at all. But a part of that dream is to work with what I work with today, and that I have already achieved! So all I need now is to save up money to one day be able to move into this dream home haha! He also mentioned that maybe I can take small steps to make our current home more like my dream home to inspire myself further...

Anyway. It was a good meeting. And the house on the pic furthest to the right is one of my dream houses in Motala where we live. Sadly I doubt that it will ever be for sale and/or in our price range hahah. But one can dream anyway, right?

Like I mentioned we are heading to my parents tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with them and my brothers and my brother's girlfriend (we celebrate on the 24th in Sweden). Rascal is of course coming along as well. I'll probably check back in with you tomorrow or the day after.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all my readers!

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