Photographer, Perfectionist, Pain in the Arse…
- Tidy room, put washing out
- Finish College Assignment No. 2386571
- Practice Ukulele. You’re getting good.
What I see is a list of things that should be achievable. Should. But. Hiding under an imaginary rock, away from my everlasting perfectionism is me. Cowering. What if I hand my college assignment in and I get a bad grade? What if my finger slips for the umpteenth time trying to hit that chord on the uke? Do I even bother tidying my room? Knowing fully that I’ll admit defeat as soon as I see more than two things on my
floordrobe and guiltily, the piles of clothes, magazines, godforsaken empty juice bottles and goodness knows what will gather before I know it and it’ll be back to square one.
So what do I see as the ultimate fix for this perfectionist streak in me? Ahh. Procrastination.
Julie. Come on. Seriously? You have walked this earth for enough years to know that procrastination does nothing but cause you stress to the highest degree, and has done ever since you can remember.
The fault in my brain is that I pick faults with every single thing I do or have yet to do before I get a chance to start. Somewhere between my birth and 23 years of age, I have deemed everything I attempt as unsatisfactory. Why? It’s not as if my parents, friends or any other relatives have ever been anything less than proud of me. So why do I have to pick myself apart? Why am I so set on being the best, when to be the best you have to actually do some work which in the current state of affairs, seems entirely impossible?
First and foremost. If I’m such a procrastinator, how have I managed to bash this post out in just over 20 minutes so far? (Yeah I get that it may not SEEM like a lot of time, but for this fuzzhead, I could cry at the sudden spark that has set my brain alight, right down to my fingers tapping away on my keyboard.)
Paralysis is the culprit. I’ve just come away from Jenni Berretts post on this whole messy vicious cycle of how perfectionism leads to procrastination which leads to paralysis. Not to plagiarise her article too much, (read it here before I do. All credit to Jenni ) but it resonated deep within me. I feel that as the months pass, I only struggle more with this every day.
There are countless tasks I am more than capable of completing mentally and physically, but this block, this wall appears and leaves me screaming internally left trying to beat it down.
I would love nothing more than to be one of those get up and go people that have the world at their fingertips and get EVERYTHING done before 9am. I am not that kind of person and never have been, but I admire those who can.
Do I fear that I’ll be left with nothing to do once these tasks are done? Maybe.
Does that mean that once I have completed every task, that my head will be empty, leaving room for worry and stress to buzz around? Surely not. I am constantly filled with inspiration and excitement of things I want to do one day.
Why can’t that ‘one day’ be today?
Why can’t I get off my ass and make that ‘one day’ today?
Maybe the time after I’ve completed my to do list will be spent actually doing these wild things I dream up. I could be a ukulele whiz. I could turn that photography project idea into a real-life-thing. Imagine. But first of all, do the thing. The thing you’re putting off, Julie. Do it. Don’t even think about how you’ll do it. Just do it.
While at risk of sounding like a pushy Nike™ advert, just going for it instead of thinking, worrying and deliberating over how it might turn out, do it and see how it turns out. And it’ll probably be better than you would give yourself credit for. Thanks @jenni_bee. You’re a hero.
Shall we make this a regular thing? And I'll check out saying that I'll see you here same time next week? Maaaybe that's just a little too soon, but I will say that I'll see you here soon. In the near future. Not months down the line. And if you've not heard from me in a while, send me the link to Jenni's post eh?