Photographer, Perfectionist, Pain in the Arse…

To Do…

  • Tidy room, put washing out
  • Finish College Assignment No. 2386571
  • Practice Ukulele. You’re getting good.

What I see is a list of things that should be achievable. Should. But. Hiding under an imaginary rock, away from my everlasting perfectionism is me. Cowering. What if I hand my college assignment in and I get a bad grade? What if my finger slips for the umpteenth time trying to hit that chord on the uke? Do I even bother tidying my room? Knowing fully that I’ll admit defeat as soon as I see more than two things on my floordrobe and guiltily, the piles of clothes, magazines, godforsaken empty juice bottles and goodness knows what will gather before I know it and it’ll be back to square one.

So what do I see as the ultimate fix for this perfectionist streak in me? Ahh. Procrastination.

Nope.

Julie. Come on. Seriously? You have walked this earth for enough years to know that procrastination does nothing but cause you stress to the highest degree, and has done ever since you can remember.

The fault in my brain is that I pick faults with every single thing I do or have yet to do before I get a chance to start. Somewhere between my birth and 23 years of age, I have deemed everything I attempt as unsatisfactory. Why? It’s not as if my parents, friends or any other relatives have ever been anything less than proud of me. So why do I have to pick myself apart? Why am I so set on being the best, when to be the best you have to actually do some work which in the current state of affairs, seems entirely impossible?

First and foremost. If I’m such a procrastinator, how have I managed to bash this post out in just over 20 minutes so far? (Yeah I get that it may not SEEM like a lot of time, but for this fuzzhead, I could cry at the sudden spark that has set my brain alight, right down to my fingers tapping away on my keyboard.)

Paralysis.

Paralysis is the culprit. I’ve just come away from Jenni Berretts post on this whole messy vicious cycle of how perfectionism leads to procrastination which leads to paralysis. Not to plagiarise her article too much, (read it here before I do. All credit to Jenni ) but it resonated deep within me. I feel that as the months pass, I only struggle more with this every day.

There are countless tasks I am more than capable of completing mentally and physically, but this block, this wall appears and leaves me screaming internally left trying to beat it down.

I would love nothing more than to be one of those get up and go people that have the world at their fingertips and get EVERYTHING done before 9am. I am not that kind of person and never have been, but I admire those who can.

Do I fear that I’ll be left with nothing to do once these tasks are done? Maybe.

Does that mean that once I have completed every task, that my head will be empty, leaving room for worry and stress to buzz around? Surely not. I am constantly filled with inspiration and excitement of things I want to do one day.

Why can’t that ‘one day’ be today?

Why can’t I get off my ass and make that ‘one day’ today?

I can?

I can.

I will.

Maybe the time after I’ve completed my to do list will be spent actually doing these wild things I dream up. I could be a ukulele whiz. I could turn that photography project idea into a real-life-thing. Imagine. But first of all, do the thing. The thing you’re putting off, Julie. Do it. Don’t even think about how you’ll do it. Just do it.

While at risk of sounding like a pushy Nike™ advert, just going for it instead of thinking, worrying and deliberating over how it might turn out, do it and see how it turns out. And it’ll probably be better than you would give yourself credit for. Thanks @jenni_bee. You’re a hero.

Shall we make this a regular thing? And I'll check out saying that I'll see you here same time next week? Maaaybe that's just a little too soon, but I will say that I'll see you here soon. In the near future. Not months down the line. And if you've not heard from me in a while, send me the link to Jenni's post eh?

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I was hoping that my title would sound just like that from a RENT production... but however it's said or sang, that is how long it's been since my last blog post. Since then, shit has hit the fan, so to speak!

Just that day I posted, I received an invitation to an interview for college that I'd applied for back in January. My long awaited HND Photography interview. That kickstarted possibly my most hectic month of 2017 so far: from preparing my portfolio in any spare time that I could find was my main goal. My boyfriend had just purchased his first car so obviously that meant countless trips McDonalds Drive Thru at silly-am, just for some nuggets or a McFlurry, which seen us out of March. Happy Sav.

April started with a great weekend. I got my second tattoo, on my ribcage! (Sorry mum!) While Darren got a little birdie tattooed on his hand! We seen You Me At Six live in Glasgow, and the day after, we took a drive through Aviemore and up to Elgin! We had lovely weather and managed to stop near Lossiemouth for a late night chippy before the four hour ride home. Oops. We didn't really think that through. I'd agreed to drive home since Darren was kind enough to do the drive up. I lasted half an hour before climbing into the passenger side and dozed all the way home... Double oops!

Despite being shattered and sore, we headed off the following day to Loch Lomond and the surrounding areas. Much easier than tackling the North of Scotland. But we definitely got the most out of our Easter weekend as we planned to!

The end of the month was filled with surprises, one of which being my successful college interview! So I am SUPER pleased to announce that by the end of August, I will officially be a skint student again. I can't wait!

May seemed to fly in quicker than any other month, and before we knew it, we were jetting off on a quick break to Amsterdam. We huffed and puffed our way through the first day as it was seriously warm, and the both of us were not in the slightest prepared for the heat. Darren burns through SPF50+ and I melt as soon as it hits 20° in Scotland! But we slowly acclimatised and managed to cope for the next two days. Our seriously chilled Saturday night/Sunday morning watching dry lightning storms was mildly interrupted by a fire alarm that sent us packing six floors down the stairs. But all was well and the lovely staff at Volkshotel gave us a friendly apology as we checked out, and a snazzy pair of slippers for the inconvenience. Here

My June got off to a great start, seeing the beautiful Jack Savoretti live at the Kelvingrove bandstand. Seriously, hearing that voice in person. Shivers aplenty. And those shivers weren't ALL because of the rainy rain! Jack Savoretti was supported by a local singer called Michael Cassidy. If you get the chance to check him out then definitely do so! In the middle of June I shot my first wedding ever which - being a perfectionist - could obviously have went better! But I would be lying if I said I wasn't pleased at the results. Lets just say I know what I'd change for next time around! Next up was Darrens 24th birthday! We celebrated all day and had a Pizza Hut/Chippy combo to finish off the night... if you haven't tried this yet then I seriously suggest you do. Drool.

My cousin and his fiance got married at the tail end of June in Ardrossan right by the sea. It was the most beautiful day that they shared with masses of family and friends. Seeing them come together and show their love for each other was the best thing. Both the ceremony and the reception were like something from a book. Perfect and picturesque! To Brian and Maria!

The last event on the list, was my birthday! The big 2-3! I was spoiled by my family which I am always grateful for. And Darren was the most thoughtful little bean ever. He bought me a beautiful Peter Rabbit scrapbook as part of my pressies, for me to store my precious photos and ticket stubs as he knows just how much of a sentimental person I am! Of course I sobbed like a child for ten minutes about how thoughtful and caring he is. I know. *Sideways glance*

All that and even more that I haven't even included that took place in just a few short months... Starting this weekend, I see my girls and we plan to go boating off the shores of Balmaha on the east of Loch Lomond. Wish me luck as I never had much success last year... of course I'll pop in a photo for you to laugh at. It'll really set the scene for Sunday I'm sure!

I wonder how the next few months will pan out! I start college and hopefully make some new friends to drag along on mad adventures with me, along with plenty memories to keep tight and stick in my new scrapbook!

I promise to squeeze in more posts sooner than I have this one, I double promise! I also promise not to mention quite as much fast food in my next post. I can feel the saturated fat oozing out of these sentences...

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A little bit of kindness can go a long way. You may not notice how much of an effect your words or actions can have on another person, and generally, what you give; you get back. Karmic effect, however you put it, what goes around will eventually find its way back around.

Over the past few months, I've experienced more than my fair share of mood changes. A lot of work and no rest are my main enemies, and a severe lack of Vitamin D - otherwise known as the sun to those of you who are fortunate to live in warmer climes - all come together as some sort of evil supergroup, set on making me feel down.

Now, if you've ever felt like this, you'll know that you are continually urged to do something to distract yourself in the case that you feel rubbish. That said, if you feel rubbish, the more feasible idea is to jump into bed and sleep away the bad feelings. I know that that is my number one defence mechanism, and I'm yet to think of anything better. But, what about those days when you can't bury your head under the duvet? The days where you, like most of us, woke up for your 9 to 5 job late, rushed out the house, forgot to pick up your lunch, and are then forced to communicate with Chatty Cathy at the corner shop? It sounds like hell. It feels like hell if you've ever been in that kind of mind state. You want nothing more than to run in, make your purchases, and escape without bothering a soul.

But what makes that kind of hell fell a lot less like hell? What about that kind stranger in the queue who let you skip him and his entire basketful of shopping since you only had a few items to pay for? Did you see that mother and baby enjoying that game of peek-a-boo while waiting in line? How about Chatty Cathy herself, who just wanted to gab about the weather outside? Those are all examples of little acts of kindness. They may not seem like great deeds to those who are carrying them out, but they mean a whole lot more to those in need. I treasure moments like this. The little things, the silly things or the seemingly insignificant actions of others. They give me a glow. I value kindness, because you never know who needs it most.

Wherever you are, remember that you could be doing the smallest favour for someone and in turn, making their entire day that bit brighter. Give it a go.


#alittlebitofkindness

Tyler Knott Gregson; Give kindness freely and be amazed when you see all that it gives back.


CREDIT 

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