I went to bed last night in the early hours as usual. All I wanted was to fall asleep and cover up the memory of this day as if it never existed.

This morning I woke up with a heavy chest. I left no trace of yesterday and marked no sign of my existence. This as intentional as all I wanted was to wake up and start over. This heavy weight that I am feeling are the left-over deeds that I did not conform before I went to bed last night.

I have learnt that there are no do-overs and there is no way you can start over again. Time doesn't stop nor reset for anyone or anything. Time is like water and keeps pouring no matter how we try conceal it. Right now I feel like a rock on the bottom of the ocean. Everything is floating around me and all can do is observe as things go by only to never be seen again.

I wish I could start making choices that will be in my favor in the long run. But I keep feeling restrained by an invisible entity that is making me this lazy, deluded, no good person that is never gonna leave a mark on this world.

J. J.

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