The night starts to echo, the world is asleep. The tick of the clock hurts as it starts to pass by within a long awaited silence.
The world starts to spin and Im drowning on a deep darkness, not an ounce of light that I can see and I'm laying here in my room, trying to get a hold of myself.
I am not alone in my room for my demons is here, and the silent murmurs echoes, its getting too long to stay here but I cant sleep no matter how hard I try to.
I dont know who I am anymore, one thing to define me is another thing to destroy me, the list is a never ending one, with no periods or any other things.
The long paper that said the words is keeping me into a strange feeling, I dont know if I can do this anymore, or any less having my feet getting back up on the ground.
People have already given up on me and there's no reason why I should stay here much longer. I dont even know if I'm still me or if I have become a monster again, or if I'm in between.
I try to be everything else in return, I try to be this sweet little pea that everyone adores but then this sweet little pea self destructs again, going back into a deeper relapse.
Turning herself into a monster again and she did not want to become that monster again, it was not her choice, she did not have a choice, she was doing so great at being so good but then it came back for her, the monster came back again.
And so today, I wish not to be alive, nor die. So today, I wish to disappear.