Now that this year is coming to and end i thought maybe it is time to write something about it. Since i haven´t posted anything since I pretty muck came here i thought it might be time to do so. I honestly don´t even know where to start i and if it is even possible to explain what this year have ment to me. It has been a heck of feelings through out this year that i did not even existed and I can for sure say that i am more than grateful that i got to experience them even if they have hurt sometimes.
My year have been everything i did not expect it to be. I decided to come to america with the goal and hope to come back as someone who is more confident and with a great self-esteem, and I expected it to come right in the beginning of the year. I thought that I would change as soon as i walked away from my parents at the airport, that i would feel different. I putted a lot of pressure on my self to be different and better. And it took me two months to realize that i was wrong. With that said my year pretty much started out in the wrong direction right at the beginning. I also though that my english had to be perfect and I struggled a lot with talking in the beginning. I therefore decided that i needed a new start, so I changed family and school after 2 months.
I came to my new host family and school and had absolutely no idea were i was going. My new school was 1750 students smaller so there was only 250 students. I knew that i was going to a small town called melrose (in Wisconsin) but i did not know where it was because i could barely find it on the map. I therefore did not have any expectations. I remember my first day like it was today. I walk in through the door and realized this school is not bigger than just a small hallway that only takes less than 1 min to walk, and a lot of people was wearing cowboy boots and camou sweatshirts and jackets. My first day was something else.
My first day was a big culture shock but everyone was so nice so it didn´t last for long. After a very short time i was set with my schedule and i felt like a part of the school. I decided that i wanted to try as many new things as possible so i joined basketball which i had newer tried before. During the year i also took a speech class, competed in forensics, went out for track, and many other things. I have made friends for life and gained knowledge in things i didn´t know existed.
During the year i also had a lot om homesickness that hit me pretty hard and i had to learn ho to handle that. It was along process with a lot of tears and holding the phone trying so hard not to call home. It made me realize how grateful I am for having the family i have in Sweden pushing me even when it might have seemed impossible.
Today I spent a lot of time crying. Because today was my last day of a day at melrose-mindoro high school. Today was the day when i realized that this year is going towards the end. I have a lot of things waiting for me back home but i also have a lot of thing that i will have to put behind me and call memories. I have no idea if i will ever meet some of the people i have met here ever again.
But I can for sure say that i am leaving this place as the person i have always wanted to become and with memories that i hav always had as dreams. I dont think there is any words that describes how thankful I am for everyone that have been a part of the year, both loved once back home and people that i call family here. I am thankfull for everything i have been through this year, both bad and good things because it has all made me a better person.