At the moment, I'm not feeling great. One could say that I'm feeling quite like complete and utter crap. But weirdly enough, I still have a spark in me. Unlike other times, I have something in me that keeps me going. I'm not sure what that is, and I'm not trying to figure it out. I'm just letting it be.
A person I look up to recently made a blog post about his journey in the past couple of years. He wrote about his dark times and how he got through them. One thing that really got to me was that when he failed, instead of beating himself up about it, he said to himself, "It's okay. I love you." I feel like I've been failing not only myself, but the people around me recently. So I will start telling myself just that.
– It's okay. I love you. I forgive you. –
This year is going to be good. We will make it good. Do the things you want to do and if people tell you that you can't do it, say okay and prove them wrong. Don't hold back. Do what you want - be who you want.
I will be bold. I will dress the way I want to, without fearing judgement. I will write about everything, until all my feelings are noticed and documented, so that I can feel free. I will treat my body with the respect it deserves (finally). I will not hold onto the past, and I will fight through my feelings until the past no longer haunts me.
We have to show the world and ourselves that love still exists. I’m going to try my very hardest to love myself more this year, and to spread love around as much as I possibly can. This is the year that I will really try to be better.
We made it through another year. After everything we’re still alive. And this year, I will live. I hope you live with me.