Happiness is fleeting. And that's fine, because that's how life is. But it's now becoming so rare that I can't appreciate it when it's here. I can't appreciate it because I'm scared of what’ll happen when it goes away. I'm scared that it might be the last time.
I’m so tired of people telling me that I’m “in my teenage years” and that “it’s like this for everyone”. I know that everyone hurts from time to time. But this, what I’m feeling, everyone can’t be feeling this way. If they did, everyone would be jumping off cliffs. There is no way that life is supposed to hurt this much. If it is, then I don’t want it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m feeling, and I realized that I’m feeling almost exactly the way I did when James died. Although no one close to me has died (recently). My brain is so confusing.
If you hadn’t noticed, I've been having a shit couple of weeks. But this song made it a little bit better, it calmed my soul down. (It also made me cry, but it’s good.)
I miss you so much. I recently went into my old room and found the things you wrote beside my bed, it’s so sweet. I needed that now.