When school starts i'm gonna be another person.
I'm gonna try to be more happy and try to smile everyday!! I have to be that happy girl now cince my math teacher found out that i was suicidal!
I want to have lots of friends and have a perfect life, my life have been a mess lately and i want to have a life were i can smile and laugh whit out having to fake it. When i'm older i'm gonna move to USA and i will start my life over and i might meet the love of my life there!! I hope that it is Harry Styles from 1D but i won't be.
I have all my hopes ti meet him and maby daye him but i know that ge won't like a girl like me!!

They will always have a part in my heart. They nade my life a better place.
Btw i loved they're new song drag me down!

Design your blog - select from dozens of ready-made templates or make your own; simply “point & click” - click here!

Likes

Comments

When people tell me to stay strong and to keep on fighting they don´t realise how hard it is to stay strong.

When someone say to me that i´m pretty i don´t believe them,

but if someone tells me that i´m fat or ugly i believe them. I know what it feels like to feel ugly,fat, not perfect enough. If someone asked if i was okey i just smile and say: Yes i´m fine. But as time past and we had gym class in school there was a girl in my class who saw my scars when i was switching cloths.

She did not tell me that she saw them but when i came to my last class one of the teachers came up to me and told me to talk whit the school nurse. When i got there there was 3 people there, The school nurse, one of my teachers and my mum. They lift my shirt up and saw my scars. I had a lot of scars, some old and some new. My mum was crying and the nurse told me that i needed help. I wasn´t that happy about it, i was sad and angry about the word you need help. I told them that i was fine and that i didn´t need any help at all. They told me that i needed to get help and that i had no choice in this.

I hated them for what they did to me but today i´m great full of what they did. when i got back home from treatment i was a bit after in school. I had so much to caught up on. While back in school everyone told me that i was a freak and that i cut myself only for attention. I stopt eating and i got eating disorder. After 2 month in school i gave up, I took some sleeping pills. I don´t remember what happend after i fell asleep but i remember that i woke up in the hospital and that i had to go to treatment again. I was there for about 6 months and then i had 2 months at home before i started school again. Everyone in my class told me how sorry they were and that they didn´t mean all the thing that they told me.

after that life went on as normal and i got 2 new friends. They told me to blog about my life and that might help me got rid of my self harming issues and it have helpt alot. I can´t say i haven´t been cutting since i started whit my twitter but it is much better now.

when i was on treatment they told me to have lots of dreams and never give up on them. And i had a lot of things that i wanted to do before i died. Those dreams have helpt me to stay strong because i know that if i´m dead it won´t happen.

One of my big dreams is to meet one direction and talk to them. I know that it never will happen but i can always dream of it and wish it will happen. Another dream i have is to be the girl who everyone in my family loves for who i am. Not just push me out and leave me alone.


If you need to talk about anything  just email me on; izabella.gronroos@gmail.com

Likes

Comments

​Today i was in Ullared an i really liked it.

I spend 1898 Kr there, i bought a a lot for my room and i did not buy any makeup today. I have to much already. But i bought a new jacket wich i fell in loved whit when i first saw it. The car ride was 2 hours long but me and my brother slept for more than half of the time. 

Today i got my book i ordered. It´s Demi Lovatos book staying strong 265 days a year. It´s good so far.  I´ve only read 16 pages.



Likes

Comments

​Hi!

My mum and i does not come along very good and we fight a lot, she thinks i´m a bitch. 

Every day when i´m at home i have to be another person just to be her perfect daughter and i hate it. It´s not as easy as everyone thinks it is. I die every day inside about it, today we had a fight and i gave up. I did not want to talk with her when she gets mad at me. It was a fight about my attitude and that she things i´m a real bitch. But the only reason i am that is because i have to be another person and that´s why it´s so hard to stay nice and have a happy smile. 

I whis i could tell her and that she loved me for who i am. She is trying to change me and my brother. When 

i´m 22 i´m gonna move to USA but my mum and her husband doesn´t have anything nice to say about USA and they just tell me not to move there, and when i ask´t them if they could say anything nice about USA they had nothing to say. 

The thing is that nobody in my family want me here. I´m just a trouble for them, and i don´t want that. i hate to be the one that no one wants. Every day i cry my self to sleep because i know that the only person who really wants me alive is my dad. He loves me for who i am and i know that if i have any trouble i can always talk to him.


When my dad was at the hospital after his accident i was so scared that he was gonna die. If my dad died i would not have anything to live for anymore. My dad and One direction is the only reason i´m still alive. 


Likes

Comments

I'm so sorry I haven't been updated my blogg lately. I've gone through a very bad time.
I have been having some trouble whit my dad.

I will put some links on videos that helped me to get better when i was depressed and wanted to commit suicide.

I have been misunderstood, i've been hated for 3 years now. If i would commited suicide nobody would have cared.
I've been told that i'm not good looking enough. I hate to be that girl who nobody wants, it hurts so much. A guy in my okd class called me chubby and for 2 years i've been having eating disorders.
I know that i might sound like a creep and that i want attention. But i feel like this is the only way to "talk". I can't talk to someone, i don't trust anyone anymore.

Here is some videos that I watched when i was sad , depressed and more. They kind of helpt me!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U6gZ0ZnH3WE

http://youtu.be/zApulZXDLVQ


http://youtu.be/HQ0itRy0YzQ

And this one i cried to the firts 10 times I watched it: http://youtu.be/Xcndrvbsw-8


Likes

Comments

Today i'm gonna meet the rest of my cousins and aunts for the first rime this year!! I've already met one of my cousin and gandma. So i'm pretty excited about it. Hope they won't ask me about my scars and why i went to treatment again...

There isn't that much to talk about today. Not much have happened since yesterday.

Likes

Comments

Today i just found out that my dad's job burn down. So now he won't be able to work until they found a replacement job for him. And that can take a long time.
So I'm gonna spend some time whit him for the rest of the week. Hopefully he'll get a job soon.


Yesterday I was up all night watching videos about self harming and then i notice a guy that was making fun of it and not taking it seriously. Since I've been self harming i know how hard it is to stop and that your not self harming only for attention!!

I cut my self because i had so much trouble whit school and at home and when i made the first cut i felt like i took all those bad thing out, of course it hurts but after a few cuts it didn't hurt that much. And for a while things got better and i tried to stop cutting but I couldn't. Then everything went wrong and i started cutting more and more. And then it went to far. I took a some sleeping pills and i wanted to die sooooo badly. Lucky my brother found me before I had taked to many. I went to the hospital and then to a treatment center and i was there for about 4 months.

Today i'm kinda healthy. I still have some of the scars left but they don't show that much anymore. I also cover them whit makeup. I can't say I haven't been cutting since treatment center and I can't say I haven't been thinking if comitting suicide but i'm more happy now then i was before. I'm still having a hard time at home but now i have one friend that i can talk to if i need to talk.

Likes

Comments

Hi
Today i got home from the hospital. I've been so sick lately. My allergies have gone bad. I can't even go out whit out my whole eye get all red and itching. I hate it!!! Today it's been awhile since I cut my self. I have struggled to not cut and it's hard.

What people don't realize is that it's hard to stop after your first cut. My scars have heeled pretty good bit they are still there!

Likes

Comments

Hi!
This blog will be about my life and the struggle im going through. My life is a mess and i hate my body. I have eating disorder and goning through depression which i have done now in 2 years. I might not have that much scars on my wrist but i'm still in lots of pain.
Every day is a battle from that i wake up to when I'm goning going to bed.
I have to put on that fake smile everyday and pretend that I'm fine.

I love one direction and demi lovato. Thay made me stronger and helpt me through some of my worst days. Even though I haven't met them they still makes me stronger. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here today❤️

Likes

Comments