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My first year's classes are soon finished and I will be on a plane home with my best friend beside me. What a year it has been, full of adrenaline and new experiences. I moved here to get away and run away from my life in Stockholm, I remember being unhappy and treading on pins on needles everyday with a fake smile on my face not knowing the meaning of anxiety. I had such a hard time deciding wether moving was the right thing to do. I had one of the worst summers of my life, I was heartbroken and I moved out on bad terms with my family.
people always tell you to not run from problems, in order to move on you need to fix them. But the impulsive person I am, I packed my bags and rushed to move to London in the course of a week. You know what? I am so fucking happy I did it.
Since I've been here I've made the same shitty decisions that are bad for me, I learnt that nothing in life comes for free and working hard pays off. I went back and forth to a person who was manipulative because I was scared of what it would be like without him, my actions and thoughts felt controlled and my anxiety grew each day. I had no motivation or persistence to deal with life, what I had ran away from suddenly caught up with me no matter how hard I tried to block it out. But then things took a turn, I took charge of my life and started to work harder than ever, I cut off the weaker links that dragged me down and focused on life itself.
The change has made me much stronger and happier, I love the fact that I can see results come out off hard work I have put in. I recommend everyone to take risks, don't sit on your ass and regret something because you were temporarily scared. Now I have so much positive to focus on, I constantly need to remind myself I am only 19 and I should stop rushing everything....that things happen naturally. Yes, I do believe everything happens for a reason.
thiiiiiis song, the lyrics are so on point lavvv it
Eyyy, sitting in the library discussing a trip with Tove and Mikaela. Hopefully they will both be coming for a short 3 day trip to visit me before I pack my bags and return home with them. We have planned some crazy things and number one is to all three get a tattoo!!!!! , lunches in sunny regent's park and ofc go dance out in the amazing nightlife here. When I'm back I have two job interviews to get to and then the plan is to work up and travel as I have such a long break. I am ecstatic to get home and meet all my lovely friends and finally start working as I feel like I don't have so much to do here now when exams are soon over. As you may be able to tell I am so pepped on life atm and I seriously can't wait for things to happen!.
I am watching the movie Meet bill on Netflix and there is a scene that caught me. The main actor after suspecting his wife of cheating picks up a phone call, she immediately jumps at him over the conversation he has openly infront of her. He replies back with 'a thief thinks everybody is stealing' this is something to bare in mind in everyday situations. A partner who is hiding or lying will usually question and blame you bluntly of just that behaviour they themselevs are initiating. A person with an insecurity will often point those out in others if they are upset but admire them if they are happy. It's interesting how human behaviour or maybe the best way to call it is body language can almost give away the subconscious and I guess if anybody wants to work on that it is a progress of having self-distance.
Being self aware is a trait I think extremely at peace and successfully spiritual people have, to be able to think before acting and reflect beforehand. It is so easy to be blinded by nervousness for example blabbing on at an interview of qualities you may in fact possess , or blinded in a romantic involvement were the feeling of lust overpowers initiative and sense.
Whatsup??? What a lazy Sunday this has been, last night was great, had a really fun time with Emma and Jonna then continued the night at little tape and met Bobby an old friend. I woke up quite late and met up Bryan and Luke to go eat some pizza. We then went back to Luke's flat and watched the football game. I spent the rest of the day cleaning my room and doing some revision. I have a lot of planning to day and im super excited to end exams and decide what I am doing next! The English system is crazy after our exams on May 12th we end and don't start the second year until October!!!
This gives me quite a lot of time to find a job, meet and be with my lovely friends and then see if I will be able to book myself into a few evens and trips. I am extremely interested in going on a short trip alone maybe to a surfing camp, my Grandparents will be renting a house during the summer in Mykonos for my Grandad's and my birthday so I will see if I go visit (I have always wanted to travel to Greece), then there are a few other things I really want to do but don't want to write it and jinx it haha. I have also applied to a summer course that I hope to get into, but it it's very unsure as it is in Singapore.
Right now my biggest search a good job that I feel good at, I haven't really ever felt like I have wanted to work at a place more than a month or so....I'm on the lookout :)
this video and song is incredible
The best feeling is waking up 2hours later than your alarm ...NOT. Last night I didn't do much, went for a long walk with my friend Luke who I have replaced with Bryan since he is back home (jokes). No but we have a new thing were we walk around in the dangerous parts of London and try to see if anything bad happens and it always ends up us being paranoid when a car drives by.
Tonight I am meeting Emma and her friend and the plan is to go for dinner and drinks and then go out but I am not sure if they have time to meet up so early as they are booked up on all these touristy things that recommended her against.
Right now I am sitting 're-vising' in the uni common room and it's literally so boring. I am starting to think I have some serious concentration problems because I can't focus on one page for more than 3mins.