About 3 months ago now, I got a job at 24 Hour Fitness. That job changed my life from the instant I walked in there. As we all know, 99% of the time, if you work at a gym, you get a free membership. Well, I haven't had a solid gym membership since I was about 12 because I couldn't afford one. I've always been an athlete so a gym membership wasn't really necessary. But when I was about 14, within the span of 3 months I broke my thumb, almost fractured my spine, and fractured my arm. So I had to take a LONG break. 7 years later, I'm back in the game.
Society and the media has done a very good job at making women think that the skinnier they are, the more worth they have. With the help of a terrible ex, I fell for that trap. Within four years I was a stick, and I was always sick. I was unhealthy and my overall view towards my own body was absolutely terrible. I've got a small frame, and a decently sized butt with proportionate legs, but I hated them because I didn't have the thigh gap that the media is so obsessed with. My thighs jiggle and rub against each other when I walk. It's how my body has always been built and I hated it because of the toxic thoughts that were put in my head.
SO I DECIDED TO MAKE A CHANGE. I decided that I was going to go back to that athletic physique that I loved so much. Then, with the help of one of our personal trainers and a wonderful friend of mine, I realized where I really wanted to be, I wanted to compete. But that takes us to another part of the spectrum where people think that women who have a lot of muscle are unattractive and "look like men" and blah blah blah whatever. Thankfully I have the most supportive SO in the world and he's done nothing but tried to keep my mind in check during this process. Making sure I'm still eating normally and that I'm maintaining a healthy lifestyle. He's been my rock and I don't know where I'd be without him.
Even though I did decide that I won't be competing due to the fact that their diet crash would kill me and put me back into a negative mindset about my body, I've decided that I'm going to train like a competitor. I've already made so much progress in the past three months that even I have a hard time believing it. I'm also here having to tell myself that my pants being too small isn't a bad thing. That I'm gaining muscle mass in my quads and that's good for my overall goal. I can't wait to see where this journey takes me. I can't wait to see how I progress and build from here on out.