when i was younger, i remember my friends telling me that being in a relationship, crushing on a boy was just about the best feeling ever. and when i turned fifteen, i got my first real boyfriend. i remember how hyped my friends were. this was it, they said. this is what it's all about.
the boy i liked was amazing, he was kind, funny and we were the couple everyone in school knew and talked about. all our friends and even the teachers used to tell me that we were the perfect pair. he played the guitar and i had the voice. we would sit and just sing duets in our spare time. i loved it, it calmed me down. i was going through a tough time at home, constantly fighting with my family. he was the escape i needed. but i still felt that something was missing, and when he said those three words that was supposed to make my heart beat faster, i knew that it wasn't right. i couldn't say it back, and i broke it off.
every relationship i've had since then were the same. they were more than ready to love me, but i just couldn't open that piece of my heart up for them. i couldn't give them the love that they asked for. i won't lie, the guys i dated have been perfect, in everyone else's eyes. my friends were always jealous that every guy that fell for me were a true prince charming, but i still couldn't feel it.
and then a little over a year ago, this one night, in some strange way, fate made me meet this guy. when i met him that night, i could never have guessed that he would mean this much to me today. people talk so much about love, and the feeling of falling in love, but nothing, and i mean nothing could ever prepare me for the feeling of being in love with him. he literally just crashed right through that wall that all the other guys tried so hard to break through.
i could sit here all night and try to describe the feelings i have for him, but it just wouldn't do him justice. this guy is my world and i can't even imagine a life without him. he became my best friend after just a few weeks and suddenly about three months of friendship, we got into a relationship. i mean i knew i had feelings for him only just a few weeks after meeting, but i wasn't used to that. i never felt anything like this for anyone and i was so scared that i was going to lose him. i backed away around the first two months of our relationship, but after those months, we were talking about something that turned into us admitting how much we meant to each other and i think that's kind of where we truly realised that we were in a relationship. from that point, everything changed.
the kisses, the hugs, the sex, all of it. i cannot even begin to describe the feelings running through my body in those weeks after. and i thought that maybe after a little while, i would get used to it, that my feelings would calm down and i would be able to make sense of them, but no, not even close. it's been eleven months since he became my boyfriend and i swear, my heart still feels like it's gonna explode because of the strong feelings i have for him, and i didn't even think it was possible to fall in love with him more that i already was, but damn, i fall more and more everyday.
i have no idea just how much he loves me, but i love him more that anything. when we're laying in bed and he's holding me in his arms, i can't imagine any other place that could make me happier than exactly where i am. being in his arms, is where i belong. it's my home. i never thought that i would ever love a person as much as i love him, but he proved me wrong.
i would do anything just to see him smile. if he's sad, i'm sad. when he's happy, i'm in heaven. i swear, when he smiles, the world could be falling apart around us but i wouldn't even notice because i'm too busy looking at him. and that something that was missing in my life before, is right in front of me. i have everything i need and it's him. i don't need anything but him.
i found the one i'm going to spend the rest of my life with, i couldn't ask for anything better.
i'm happy, i'm content, i'm home.