diary

Sometimes I really don't know who people think they are.

I hate hate hate when people see some girl that is not shaving her armpits or legs and they are like "it's gross." or "I bet she's not even bathing". And boys that shave their legs? Are totally gay! Of course. This is so stupid. Why do people want to shame others for being natural? Girls are born with hair on their body just like boys. If a man can have hairy legs why womens can't? If it is dirty on a girl's body it's dirty on a boy's body. Hair on your legs and armpits are same just like hair on your head. But just because society and media tells us that having them anywhere else besides head it's wrong and disgusting. Sometimes when it's hot as fuck but I didn't shave my legs because I was too lazy and I hate doing it I just went out with pants because my confidence is too low to wore dresses with hairy legs. Not because I find it gross but because I'm worried about what people will think. And this is wrong. And I hate it. I was always, all my life, ashamed of my hands because I have them hairy but that doesn't mean that I'm gross. I was born that way. And what about my "girly moustache" that I have above my lip? I'm always so scared that someone will notice when we'll be laying next to each other or something. I was always hiding my fear by making fun of myself and don't get me wrong I think it's totally fine when someone can make fun of themselfs but not when it's because of hiding something that hurts them... so. Fuck it. If you don't want to shave because it's comfortable for you don't do it if you're more brave than me. Don't let society to run your life that's wrong. Fuck what people think. I hope that one day I'll be comfortable enough to be my natural self. 

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cheek piercings

I had my cheeks pierced two days ago. Even though I knew all risks that comes with them I didn't expect that what happened could really happen to me! But I think that I handled it alright for me being really anxious and paranoid.

So what happened?

My labret was too short! I panicked. Obviously because when you notice that the flat disk inside of your mouth is pushing and the skin is trying to eat it if that makes sense and if you can imagine it? (I will put a picture below and it's really bad quality but that's maybe good for you) But with cold head i went to starsteel which is piercing shop and I bought another pair of piercings. I had to act really fast and there wasn't time for me going to professional because all of them were just too far away and it was really bad for my mouth.

So I was trying to get of those short piercings but I could not take of the balls and I was rotating the whole piercing in my cheeks. And it hurted of course it did. And I cried too. 

But after some time I finally took them of and then the time started running really fast because I had them for one day that was just too short for changing them by myself but I did it. It took me an hour? I guess. And most of this time it was me trying to get of the balls.  When it was done I felt better because those short labrets were so tight and the pain was so bad!

And now when I have longer labret in my cheeks they are falling into those little gaps or holes or whatever, the new disks are falling into those holes which those shorter labret made so I had to do something. I took an paper tissue and patch with a handkerchief and I put it over my cheeks outside so they covered the balls and make pressure so the disk aren't in those holes. I don't know if that makes sense I don't really know how to say it. 

But this is the bad part about my cheeks. The process of getting them done wasn't painful as I thought it would be because the skin is thick. It didn't really hurt it just wasn't natural to feel the needle that high in my cheeks and it wasn't comfortable but it didn't hurt. And I think it would be so much better and less painful if I didn't have short piercings. So if I would do it again? I would. I love how they look like and I was okay with the fact that I will have to take care of them. 

15 minutes after I had them pierced.

Do you see the little dot above my finger nail? yep, that's the disc and it shouldn't look like this! (sorry if it is gross)

My cheeks now. See? they could they could swollen because now they have the room for it. When I had the short labrets my cheeks didn't swollen.

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diary, me

It started.

Finally.

Finally I found out that it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter what other people think. It took me a lot of time but better later than never. I always wanted to stretch my ear but there were always people telling me not to do it because there's a chance that it won't get back ever after. And I listened to them. But now after some years I did it and I'm now stretching my ear! And I am so happy because of it. I've always have had some issues with my ears being too big but now I'm more comfortable with them even though I'm stretching just one now.

Second thing I wanted for really long time are cheek piercings. I know how problematic they can be and how long and hard they are for taking care of them but I just love how they look. There's no big reason why I wanted them. It's like when you want that shirt because you like the way it is and it's the same for me and cheek piercings. I just simply love the way they compliment face if that makes sense? I'm avare of the risk that comes with them, but I'm ready to take it. 

So tommorow I will have my cheeks pierced. Finally. I'm starting to change the way I am to what I want to be. I'm not doing it to be cool or something I'm doing it because I want it and I'm pretty sure I'll be so much more comfortable with myself. And that's all. I'll update you probably on my instragram on how my cheeks look.

And if you want to stretch your ears or have some piercing, think about it. I've been thinking about it for like 3-4 years now and I still want them so I'm going to get them but it shouldn't be something you would do by a blink and then regret it because it will leave a scar. Just think about it for some time and then if you'll still want it then go for it.

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diary, me

so, why is it better?

Being alone and not in relationship can be pretty sad and you can feel lonely a little, but in the end of the day, it is better. For me. Because sometimes when you really don't want to be alone you can jump into some situations that will lead you to unhealthy relationships or relationships with people you don't really like. And I don't want that.

Now that I'm alone I feel better a lot. Because I can do whatever I want and there's nothing that bothers me because I don't have to worry about being cheated or something like that. I can talk to anyone. I can do anything. I may be alone but it's the best for me right now.

I was in relationship that wasn't good for me but I finally ended it and it was decision made just for me and I am the most important in my life. And you should be too. So if you're in relationship that just doesn't feel right, end it. Because why you're letting it destroy you? you're probably sad and tired from it all the time and you should take care of yourself because you're art and you can't let anything to ruin this masterprice. Okay? Just let it be.

Something you're waiting for is on its way and you have to be patient and wait for it because you can't fill up your life now with bad people and bad decisions now because later you won't have room for the good stuff and people that deserve to be in your life.

So just keep going and don't be afraid of being alone, because when you're alone you can take that time and spend it with yourself, learn to understand your feelings and use it to grow and be the person you are now, but better, more confident and be happy.

You have to be confident and happy with who you are so you can have healthy relationship. Because when you're always down and sad the person you love will see it and the worst you can do is tell them that you hate yourself or stuff because to be honest people will get tired of that. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I know it's not that easy to change the way you look at yourself at any way, but it IS possible and you can do it. Just believe in it. You can do amazing things with clear mind.

So just keep it up and love yourself. Don't be afraid to be alone.

Xoxo.

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diary

I'm sure that you know Frozen and queen Elsa, right? But do you know Jack Frost too? I hope so, because I am going to upload some pictures I found today because I just want them together so badly! They are meant to be together because just look at them! Both oh them have ice powers and they have sad past behind them and they can be there for each other and help to be happy.

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diary, me

Hey there cutie!

My name is Andrea in real life but my internet name is different so please call me Yuki. I'm not sure what to say about myself so I'm just gonna make this with a little help of tag questions.


List of Get to Know Me Tag Questions

  1. What is your name? My name is Andrea :)
  2. What are your nicknames? Yuki or Endy
  3. When is your birthday? 23.10
  4. Where were you born? In Czech republic - sadly.
  5. What is your star sign? libra
  6. What is your occupation? Student of an art school.
  7. What colour is your hair? My natural color is brown but I had pink hair, also blond too. Black. And blue.
  8. What was the last thing you bought? About this tag and how I can desbribe myself. :)
  9. How long is your hair? Well, they aren't long and they also aren't short :D 
  10. What colour are your eyes? brown -.-
  11. What's your best feature? Well... I think that I'm good listener and I'm always trying to help others. 
  12. Do you have braces? No, but I wanted them when I was younger.
  13. Do you have any piercings? I had. 
  14. Do you have any tattoos? No, I don't. But I'm plannig some in future.
  15. Do you have any pets? Yaaaaaass please! Kitty!
  16. Are you left handed or right handed? right handed.
  17. Mac or PC? Notebooks?
  18. iOS or Android? I never had an iOS so... android.
  19. Dogs or cats? CAAAAATS ALL THE WAY.
  20. Who is your bestfriend? I don't have bestfriend.
  21. What was your first award? To be honest I don't know? 
  22. What is your favourite sport? Tumblring all day all night? 
  23. When was your first real holiday? Maybe last year? But I didn't enjoy it and I was sad all the time so does it count?
  24. What was the last concert you went to? I didn't.
  25. Whats your favourite movie? Hm... I like Harry Potter series. And I love Dogma. And Keith.
  26. What's your favourite TV Show? The 100 right now. Can't wait till next friday!
  27. What's your favourite colour? Black, red, green, sometimes pink. And blue.
  28. What's your favourite song? click
  29. What's your favourite restaurant? I don't have one.
  30. What's your favourite shop? I don't have one.
  31. What's your favourite book? The Great Gatsby. And Little prince.
  32. What's your favourite magazine? I don't have oneee.
  33. What's your favourite pair of shoes? The ones I'm wearing all the time.
  34. What's your favourite season? Spring and autumn.
  35. What's your favourite quote? Live to be happy and be happy to live by Joey Kidney.
  36. How are you currently feeling? I feel relaxed and fine. 
  37. Who was the last person you messaged? My classmate.
  38. Are you single or taken? -
  39. What are you currently eating? Drinking green tea :)
  40. What are you currently listening to? To the song I linked abowe.
  41. What are you currently thinking about? About this tag ^^
  42. What are you currently watching? She's the man in TV :D
  43. What are you currently wearing? Blue sweater and shorts ^^
  44. Do you want children one day? No. I don't. Honestly I don't think I would be good mother. 
  45. Do you want to be married one day? No. No. No. 
  46. Where do you want to live? Somewhere where people speak english so out of czech republic.
  47. Do you believe in god? I don't even believe in myself :c
  48. Do you believe in miracles? No.
  49. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah. It can happen but I'm not sure if it can last. You can be attracted to someone physicaly but it has to be pchycicaly too.
  50. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
  51. Do you believe in Aliens? Yes. The universe is just too big for us to be alone in it.
  52. Do you believe in Soul mates? No.
  53. Do you believe in Heaven or hell? I'm not sure. Probably not.
  54. Do you believe in kissing on the first date? No.
  55. Do you believe in yourself? As I said, no. I don't.
  56. Do you sing in the shower? Yas!
  57. When did you last laugh and what was it at? Few minutes ago and because of something that was in the movie I'm watching.
  58. Where was the last place you traveled? Toilet :D 
  59. Would you go skydiving? No. 
  60. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? England.
  61. If you had a million dollars what would you do with it? Bought house!
  62. Can you whistle? No.-.-
  63. Can you speak another language? English and slovakia :) But I'm still learning.
  64. What's most important in your life? To be comfortable with yourself.
  65. Have you ever had surgery? I didn't. 

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movies, studio ghibli

If you like or at least know Studio Ghibli you probably heard about Princess Mononoke. If you didn't see it, you maybe think that this story is just another cute fairy tail about princesses and stuff like that. And to be honest - I was like that too. Until I watched it. 

On a journey to find the cure for a Tatarigami's curse, Ashitaka finds himself in the middle of a war between the forest gods and Tatara, a mining colony. In this quest he also meets San, the Mononoke Hime."

Movie starts in small village where we meet with our hero, prince Ashitaka. I don't really wanna spoil you anything so let me just say - shit happens when he's trying to protect his village. After he did it he's forced to leave and never come back. And this is when his journey began. 

Characters in this movie were normal. Not anything special. If we don't talk about gods because gods are just awesome no matter what. But Princess Mononoke was just girl living with wolves and it's not that big deal for me because I knew it before I watched it probably. And Ashitaka pissed me of sometimes because he was just so ideal and perfect kind of human and this is unrealistic. Too strong - too full of humanity.

My opinion on this movie is pretty good actually. I was worried about it because I knew it existed since I was kid but it didn't catch my eye so I didn't watch it. But now when I'm older I told myself that I can give it a try so I did and it wasn't a mistake. The plot of this story is not the best but it was better than I expected. It was nice little surprise to me when it turned out not to be for little kids.


about movie x you can watch it < here

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diary

It's been three years or maybe four since I started to be coffee lover. And I was like ew tea - gross coffee is better all the time when someone asked me what I like to drink. But why? When I was younger I liked both. Black tea as well as black coffee. And one time I also liked fruit tea. And this is maybe why I started to dislike tea. Those yummy fruity gross tasting things.

But now. When I'm older few months ago I bought tea. Green tea. And I started to drink it. With sugar. And this was big mistake. I liked it in the first place. But how time passed I started to align it less and less till I didn't put sugar in it at all. And that was the time when I started to drink tea (but only green ones - with lemon or cranberry/raspberry) as much as coffee.

And that was so weird for me because by the time I started to drink tea more than my beloved coffee. And my mother probably noticed it and for christmas she gave me collection of green tea with green tea mug and I was pissed. Why she's giving me tea for the love of god? I'm coffee person and I don't like tea for fuck's sake!

But why? I made my image based on being coffee person like that was a thing like it was cool and I couldn't function normally if someone notices that I'm also drinking tea. I thought it would be embarrassing and that people will judge me for having different opinion. I let my anxiety and paranoia took over me in even this little thing! But why? I'm changing, I'm growing and so do things that I like to do, to eat and to drink. And that's not a big deal. So openly - just for me I'm saying, that I'm both.

Coffee and (green) Tea person.

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