When I came to Leksand 3 years ago I could speak Danish, so I thought that learning Swedish will be peace of cake. 3 years later I was still speaking English to almost everyone.
For some reason I had got stuck in my insecurities and could not get over myself and start speaking. I was speaking Swedish with my colleagues at work, but as soon as I would walk out the door I would switch to English. I made sure that I almost never meet work people with other people that I knew, to avoid someone hearing me. It had become quite a stressful nightmare. So I knew I have to get myself together and just try.
Last Tuesday I started a new job and that was my first day of speaking Swedish with everyone. I can honestly say one of the most stressful days in a very long time. I had expected that everyone will laugh at me and won't understand a thing I say. And weirdly enough for me none did laugh, and it seemed like they understood me too. Well of that little that I said that day, tried to speak as little as possible.
The day after came the biggest test for me, meeting my hockey team. The feeling inside of me was like I wished I was invisible that day. Tried to avoid eye contact just to have to start conversation with anyone. And funny enough the first thing happens when I walk in someone very loudly start to speak to me. Thank God a yes or no question, still hoping for a quiet rest of the day. I had that weird feeling like I wanted to talk and did not want on the same time. It was weird for me and it was weird for them, but somehow I got trough this day too.
Have you ever thought about it that persons voice changes depending on which language they talk. Weird, but it happens a lot, and it happened to me too. So I heard a lot that I sounded like another person, especially on the phone.
Now a week later I can honestly say that I am so happy I got over myself and can't wait for the day where I will feel comfortable with the language.