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It frightens me to think about the amount of people who experiences mental illness of some kind, yet it's such a taboo subject. Lately I've been feeling a lot of anxiety connected to work. From the moment I wake up on Sunday morning, until I clock out on Friday. My anxiety for Sundays has gotten so bad I even start worrying about work Saturday afternoon, making Friday night my only anxiety-free time. Last week I was so stressed out on Thursday morning I couldn't make myself stop crying, which eventually lead to me calling in sick. Which honestly shouldn't be such a big deal, I really wasn't in a good enough state to put on a smile for eight hours of people screaming at me from the other end of the line (I work as a telemarketer).
Said and done, I decided to write my boss and tell him I couldn't come in that day. But what would I say to him? I can't work because I'm sad? Anxious? Suddenly it all sounded like bad excuses. There was no physical sign of illness, so I wasn't really sick, was I? I considered ignoring my thoughts and just be upfront with him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The final diagnosis was migraine, which was the closest to the truth I could get without actually telling it.
Now I honestly regret not telling him the real reason behind it. Just like I cannot control my body having a hard time fighting a virus or bacteria from time to time, I cannot control my brain not being able to win all fights.
''Of course it's happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it's not real?''
I really hate Mondays, usually. But today I don't really mind to be honest. I only have three weeks left of work and after that my London prep starts for real. That's pretty much what makes me get through the days at the moment. I know it isn't the way to live. Don't use the future to escape the present and all that. Like that John Green quote; "imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it". But since I've already taken the first step to make that future happen I figured I deserve some reality escape during this last few weeks of work. I've got plenty of time to live in the present after that.
Have a lovely day people x
Before going to bed yesterday I decided to start reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, which turned out to be a big mistake. I ended up finishing the whole book, so I was pretty much up all night.
For any of you who haven't read it yet I can really recommend it! It was just as good as you'd imagine. I really want to re-read the HP series, it's been too long since last time. For those of you who don't know it, I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd. I begun reading the books in primary school and has been stuck ever since.
Now that I think about it they are probably the reason I started to get interested in writing in the first place. It's fascinating how books can open up a whole new world like that. J.K Rowling has truly done an amazing job with them, and if I ever turn out to be even a fraction of the writer she is I will be proud.
The Balm is probably my favourite brand of makeup. It's pretty much an obsession to be honest. I love it. Everything from the naming of the products to their pigments. And all of their products are cruelty free, which is a big plus to me.
I've recently bought the Balm Jovi Rockstar Face Palette and it's probably my favourite this far. It has lots of eyeshadows, a highligher (an amazing highlighter), blush, and two liptints. Perfect to take with you if you're travelling, I also have the Mary-Lou Manizer, Bahama Mama Bronzer, the Nude 'tude palette and the Balm Voyage vol. 2 (which i couldnt fit in the picture). I literally use them everyday. Only downside is that some of their products can be pretty expensive, but it is definitly worth it in the end.
The Meet Matt(e) palettes and In the Balm of Your Hand are topping my wish list at the moment. I have very few matte eyeshadows and I would love to have another 'mixed' palette.
Do you own any products from the balm? And if you do, do you have any favourites?
If you want a closer view of a product you can click on them.
A proper introduction might be a good place to start when creating a blog, so here goes.
My name is Linnea, I'm twenty years old and live in northen sweden, have been for my whole life. Not much to add about that. I grew up in a very small town, about 4000 people in total. It's a place where everyone knows everyone, and have done since kindergarden. I currently live in a slightly larger town but it's not much of a difference. I've never really liked it here to be honest. I've always felt like I'm stuck at the wrong end of the world, which is why I'll be moving to London shortly. Not sure yet if it's a temporary or permanent move but I guess time will tell.
That's the journey I'm intending to share on here, along with my thoughts and feelings about whatever pops into my mind.
Thanks for stopping by, have a lovely night.