Før jeg begynte å studere fikk jeg fort venner og gledet meg alltid til nye dager. I en alder av 19 viste jeg ikke om jeg skulle studere eller ikke da jeg fikk studieplass. Som dere sikkert vet - jeg valgte å studere!


Det er fort gjort å tro at studenttiden vil bli et utopi på grunn av at det var et såkalt "bra" studiemiljø. Slik ble det ikke hos meg. Gjennom de første årene som student ble jeg utsatt for baksnakking av medstudenter, spesielt noen i klassen. Så jeg tilbringte heller mer tid på å lese pensumbøker enn å være med på fester - for jeg ville ha en utdannelse! Det ble vanskeligere å komme på forelesninger for jeg var redd for å bli sett ned på. Da jeg ble fortalt at jeg bare skal drite i baksnakkingen, så prøvde jeg på det. Kort fortalt: Det er lettere sagt enn gjort. Jeg ble mer skeptisk på folk og holdt følelsene inne. Det var dager hvor jeg rett og slett ville gi opp studiene fordi det var tøft.

2. året gikk bedre enn første året. Jeg var svært fornøyd med bofellesskapet og hadde gode relasjoner med mine romkamerater. Jeg fikk en jobb som jeg trives svært godt med og var svært takknemelig for det gode i livet. Jeg jobbet også med frivillig verv for et sosialt arrangement. Det var da jeg møtte en ny venn som jeg fikk gode samtaler med. 1 måned senere ble jeg og denne vennen forelsket. La oss kalle han V. Senere bestemte vi oss for å bli sammen, men etter misforståelser ble jeg dumpet. Jeg ble knust. Knust for å ha mistet en god venn og at ting ikke ville bli det samme igjen. Etter "bruddet" ble jeg konfrontert av vennene til V. Jeg lo og lot som at alt var normalt, selv når V ble et samtalesemne. På utestedene så jeg V flørte med andre jenter rett foran meg mens vennene hans lo. Det gjorde det vanskeligere for meg å komme over "bruddet" sellom vi aldri var sammen. Noen måneder senere begynte V å få interesse for en "venninne" av meg, noe som vennene hans erta meg med. En dag kom en av vennene til V og konfronterte meg med at jeg burde bli mer utadvendt for å bli populær med gutter og drikke mer. Faktumet at minn innadvendthet var grunnen til at V dumpet meg. Likevel holdt jeg kjeft om disse følelsene fordi jeg ikke ville lage drama blant folk. Jeg fortsatte å smilte og holdt kjeft.


3. året gikk smooth. Folka fra 2. året flyttet så jeg bodde med nye folk. Jeg utfordret meg selv til å bli mer sosial, noe som ga meg en fantastisk venninne! Kjærlighetssorg var ikke lett å komme over, selv når man måtte se den samme personen hele tiden. En dag var det en student som følte seg ensom og venneløs. Denne studenten delte et facebook innlegg om dette. Responsen var at studenten fikk vennskap på et fat. Jeg smilte og støttet denne studenten for bra inititativ, men egentlig synes jeg at det var en feig måte å få vennskap på. I dag føler vi presset om å late som at alt er bra for å ikke bli dømt for våre triste følelser. Jeg levde meg opp til et slikt press og fortsatte å smile. Før studietiden husket jeg at jeg ikke hadde noe problemer med å skaffe meg venner. jeg tok selv inititativ til å skaffe venner og det gikk greit. Noen måneder senere gjorde jeg noe som skjedde ut av ingen steder! Da jeg, min gode venninne og hennes venninne var på studentbaren, så vi at V klinet med en jente jeg kjenner. Det værste var at jeg endte opp med å angripe denne jenta ved å lugge håret hennes. Vakten så rart på meg og skrek hvorfor jeg gjorde dette. Alle så det og plutselig ble jeg en kriminell. V spurte om det gikk bra med henne. Jeg gikk til benken og var helt sjokka. "Hva hadde jeg gjort?!" tenkte jeg. Venninnene mine trøstet meg mens jeg gråt høyt. Til slutt måtte jeg snakke med jenta jeg angrep. Vi kom frem til ting og hun hevdet at vi var venner. Hvordan i huleste kan du kalle en person som ikke har smilt sammen med deg, ledd med deg og vært i ditt selskap som VENN?! Likevel ble begge enige og at det ordnet seg. Jeg ble utestengt på utestedet i 3 måneder. Folk snakket mye om den episoden og jeg turte ikke å gå ut på flere dager. Jenta slettet meg som en facebook venn og V nektet meg adgang til leiligheten hans ifølge romkameratene hans. Den ene venninnen jeg fikk i studiestart droppet ut av studiene og jeg ble alene. Kom heller ikke overrens med de jeg bodde med så det var ingen som viste om de følelsene jeg hadde. Samtidig skrev vi en bachleoroppgave der en stille person

Nå kommer vell det spørsmålet: Hvordan klarte jeg meg gjennom alt dette kaoset?

Til tross for motgangene jeg gikk igjennom valgte jeg å være resilient gjennom tiden. Jeg prøvde å tenke positivt og gjorde mitt. Jeg fikk jobberfaring (frivillig verv og deltidsjobber) og ble godt likt av de jeg jobbet med. Sakte nok fikk jeg nye venner som jeg prøvde å være litt med. Jeg fikk mer motivasjon for studiene. Karakterene var gode. Jeg hadde mange venner hjemmefra som støttet meg opp i det hele og fortsatte å være min venn, selv etter det dumme jeg har gjort. Jeg sto på og jobbet hardt!

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Her står jeg i dag som en masterstudent på en av de beste universitetene i landet. Ting har gått bedre og menneskene der er snille. Det er er et mangfoldig miljø hvor alle har forskjellige bakgrunner. Jeg føler jeg blir settet pris på for den jeg er selv om jeg er en stille person. Jeg åpner meg sakte til folk og ting går bra. Jeg kjemper og gir ikke opp. Man vet aldri hva slags fortid en stille person kan ha, så ikke døm en bok etter coveret!

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One day in our lives, we all gonna do something that we will regret during our lives. That person might be you, your friend, family, coworker or even your partner. I did one of the bad things a month ago, and this was something I wasn´t proud of.

It all started when me and two friends were partying at the pub downtown. We really had a lot of fun while drinking and dancing. On our way out of the pub, me and my friends were going to say hi to someone we knew. It was alright, until then I saw him - the person I still had feelings for. And that person was flirty and happy with some other girl i knew. They were really close and were flirting all along. I couldn´t resist, but then... I did something I wasn´t proud of. I ended up attacking the girl by dragging her hair so hard. It was like an inner monster took over my body and did the work while the mind told "no". During the end - he cared for her and asked if she was okay. I was in shock. I didn´t knew what I have done. Then a security guard came over to me and asked: "Why did you do that?!" . He looked at me like I was some criminal. I couldn´t say anything. I asked him if we could talk private because I didn´t wanted to make a huge scene in front of the others. So we did. "You can´t just do that to someone!". Deep inside, I knew this. After the security guard left, I suddenly cried out loud. My friends came and comforted me - asking if I was alright. I cried little by little while people were watching. Another girl who worked at the pub asked me to talk to the girl I attacked. I was afraid of what she would think of me. So, I went to her and we talked. I saw that she was crying too. She asked me if she did something wrong and apologized to me many times. That girl told me this:

"If you do want someone to talk to or someone to blame on - please call me"

Next day, I did. But she didn´t pick up her phone and I noticed that she deleted me on facebook.

Each time I woke up, I woke up feeling as a criminal, and the feeling of being guilty made me sad. I noticed that some people talked about this episode, and I was even more afraid to interact with people.


So that is my story. I told my closest friends about this story and I´m suprised that they still were there for me. I learned a lot about my fears as well. In my entire life - I have never attacked someone like this. That episode taught me that nothing good will come out with violence - even how much irritared you are at something or someone. At one point in our lives, everyone is going to make a mistake - no matter what kind of a person you are. Even if you´re the kindest person in your friendgroup - you might gonna do something and later realized that this was all wrong. Because that makes us human. Then a friend questioned me: Think about all of the good things you have done in our lives? It´s better to have done many good things than bad things.

The beautiful thing is that we can learn from it and imrpove ourselves. People might see such stories from their point of view, but they never knew how that person felt in their heart after they did something bad. That episode changed me into a forgiving person. A few days later, someone who have hurted me in the past, gave me an apology and guess what I did?... I forgave. I noticed that this person regreted while hurting me and I told them that´s okay, we all have done something were not proud of at one point in our lives.

Today, I´m feeling a lot better, even though I got banned from the pub for three months. There was one day I thought; "You know what? I´m done waking up feeling like the bad guy!". Since then, good things is happening to me now, and I´m really grateful for it. When something bad happens, I usually like to think that there is a good reason for it. For me, these three months will be a time of working with myself - by working for my future and filling everyday with some inspiration, because.. what are we without inspiration? Before you know it - I will come back stronger than before.

- The Idealist ❤


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Jealousy. How does it work?

Well, I have good experiences and negative experiences with different types of jealousy. But there is this one friend I thought was an angel. She was pretty, short, smart and everybody liked her. The boys liked her and longed to date her, even girls with boyfriends was afraid of her. She also had a great personality by being kind to different types of people. That was her on the surface.


During our times together, we really had fun together and shared some fun memories. She was kind and sweet. At that time, I was a really shy person who didn´t put so much effort in my looks. I admired this girl and believed that she would achieve great things in the future! After knowing her for a while, I heard that she done some things that hurted people. Usually, I wouldn´t judge someone easly based on what other people says, because everyone will do something bad during their lives. We might know what that person did, but we don´t know what they felt in their heart when they did it. One day, I witnessed that she did the same thing to me as well - which broke my heart. That girl suddenly wasn´t nice anymore and talked to me like I was some poor soul that got lost in the woods. She didn´t consindered my feelings with her words. .Her flaws was released and this changed my perception of her. I realized that I didn´t wanted a friend who makes me feel insecure. I wanted friends that made me feel good about myself!

Then I asked a friend:

Me: What is my strong points?

Friend: Your strong points is that you care about people, You work hard and you think about others before thinking about yourself.

I started to notice my good sides and valued them more than before. It was then I started to read about positive thinking and decided to build my character.

Some months later . . . I´m surrounded by great people! They see the good things me and inspires me to become better. I learned a lot from these people and without them, I wouldn´t be where I am today. I putted efforts with challenging myself, my looks, my grades were improving, and I´m thinking more positive than before! Many people wouldn´t confess their jealousy so easly, but I believe that it´s a hidden source of inspiration - the wish to imrpove. Think about the next time, when you see someone and suddenly they have things or qualities that you don´t have, and that makes you sad. Instead of making this jealous out of hate, make it an inspiration! Let it be an inspiration to you to improve yourself or work harder for the things that you want!

What are your thoughts on jealousy?

- The Idealist ❤

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It´s a new day and that means... new opportunities to be better than you were yesterday!

That means it´s room for some growth! Everyday, we get the opporturnity to improve ourselves by making different and yet good choices! :-) If you couldn´t do anything yesterday, do it the next day! Based on my experiences, I struggled with that when it comes to my studies. Sometimes, I ends up not finish my reading because I spend too much time on it. After been talking to a friend, she told me this: "It´s okay not to finish things or make mistakes, you can just do it better the next day". Because each choice we make is leading us to our future. We design our futures by making choices - either good or bad. If you want a future where you can smile, then start making choices that will lead you to that future! And some choices might learn you a life lesson! 


- The Idealist❤

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So what is a soulmate? I believe a soulmate is:

- Someone who you get easly chemistry with after some few conversations.

- A person you really get along with.

- Someone who makes you happy by being there.

- Some who encourage your future .

- Someone who shares the same values and ethics as you.

- Someone who knows your flaws and benefits them.

- Someone who you can easly talk to or sharing thoughts with,

- Someone who you respect, even if they have opinions and are different than you. (and you feel the same)

- Someone who gives the best hugs.


The term soulmate is usually applied in the world of romance - there "the one" is the person you are meant to be with. But what if it´s more than "the one" that you are ment to be with? After been through break-ups in the past, I fell in love again of someone who I thought was my soulmate. Then I realized that this person were not the one for me, and I realized that there are more people we are meant to be with, just the facts that there will be people who are more worth fighting for. Someone who will fight for you as well! I haven´t found my soulmate in romance yet, but I truly believe that I will meet them one day! (And I really looking forward to it!). Like a vise persion say "Don´t chase after love, let love find you". After been through a break up, it´s easy to seek love in a new person but the thing is... you gotta embrace and love youtself! But how? After my experience, you gotta create a story you want to live in! Start doing things you love, fill your everyday life with inspiration and be a good version of yourself. Be a person you would fall in love with, because if you can love yourself - great things will happen! People will appericate you, other areas in your life will go well and maybe your soulmate will come by?


Soulmate isn´t someone who you just can find in romance. It can be found in many people of your life: a friend, family member, coworker, classmates or maybe the neighbour next door! The last years, I made a lot of great friends and I found my soulmate in many of them. I´m truly grateful that they are a part of my life now, because they have made me believe that there are still good things in this world. Because if we can appericate the good things we have in life, we still have a reason to smile ^^


- The Idealist ❤

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Hello guys! I finally created a blog for the first time! ❤

I always wanted a blog that would inspire people to think better of themselves. I´m not an educated psycologist or anything - I´m just being an idealist who believes that there is always something good in this world, even If it throw us in the river sometimes. In this blog, I will write about my thoughts on good things on bad things! I really look forward to blog with you guys!

- The Idealist

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