As you all probably know I'm from Finland, and I have found that there is alot of jokes and memes about both Finland and finns. I think these are funny because they are so true and itäs funny to see how the world looks at us people from Finland. I decided to gather the best ones and share them with you. I can already apologise to all the non-finns, some of the jokes can be hard to understand. Here we go!
First of all I found a list called "How to become a Finn in 22 easy steps"
- Blame everything on the Russians. Everything.
- Be everywhere on time. Know that “on time” means 15 minutes early.
- Start taking all interaction with strangers in bars as flirting. Why would someone talk to you, if they didn’t want to get in bed with you?
- Make kalsarikänni your fun Saturday night.
- Build a sauna inside your house or apartment.
- Catch up on all the episodes of Salatut Elämät, because life on Pihlajakatu is much more important than reality.
- Only consume alcohol for the purpose of getting fully wasted.
- Give up small talk and just shut up.
- Accept that there is no word for “please.” For instance, “Could I get a glass of milk, please?” can easily be shortened to “Milk.”
- On the subject of milk, start drinking Valio’s finest with all of your meals. (Otherwise, you might suffer from a serious lack of calcium and die.)
- Nearly have an orgasm when you find a new flavor of ruokakerma at the grocery store.
- Start consuming at least 6 cups of coffee per day, welcome insomnia.
- Never, not in your wildest dreams, leave Alepa or Siwa without Oltermanni, Oivariini, or Reissumies.
- Embrace the fact that Stockmann has a free bathroom.
- Begin your never-ending battle with Kela. (Those bastards, they only want your money.)
- Get slim by snacking on protein quarks.
- Laugh at nothing but Finnish stand-up comedy.
- Never spend a Thursday without a bowl of pea soup and pancakes.
- Know that Pantti will save you when your bank account hits zero before payday.
- Master at least 5 languages, but be afraid to speak any out loud.
- Understand that all liquorice should be salted.
- And for God’s sakes, take off your shoes inside, no matter how formal the event!
Second of all I found I list that was called "The 20 funniest finnish expressions (and how to use them)"
- The Finns aren’t “in a very bad mood”… they are like “a bear shot in the ass” (Kuin perseeseen ammuttu karhu).
- The Finns aren’t “broke”… they have their “ass wide open” (Persaukinen).
- The Finns aren’t in a “great hurry”… they “run using a head as a third leg” (Juosta pää kolmantena jalkana).
- The Finns don’t think someone is “crazy”… they doubt “if one has all the Moomins in the valley” (Olla kaikki muumit laaksossa).
- The Finns don’t use a “computer”… they have a “knowledge machine” (Tietokone).
- The Finns don’t “get big-headed”… they have “piss coming up to their head” (Nousta kusi päähän).
- The Finnish children don’t wait for a Santa Claus on Christmas Eve… they wait for a ‘’Christmas goat” (Joulupukki).
- The Finns don’t ask “how are you?”… they ask “what are you hearing?” (Mitä sinulle kuuluu?).
- The Finns don’t call remote places “godforsaken”… they state that a place is “behind God’s back” (Jumalan selän).
- The Finns don’t say women are curvy… they say that women “have something to get a hold on” (Olla jotain, josta pitää kiinni).
- The Finns don’t say “fuck you”… they tell you to “sniff cunt” (Haista vittu).
- The Finns don’t have fairytales about “dragons”… they tell stories about “flying snakes” (Lohikäärme).
- The Finns don’t say someone looks extremely happy… they say one “smiles like a sun in Naantali” (Hymyillä kuin Naantalin aurinko).
- The Finns don’t say something “vanished into thin air”… they say it “disappeared like a fart in Sahara” (Kadota kuin pieru Saharaan).
- The Finns don’t say that “as a result of a rush something was implemented poorly”… they say something was “pissed while running” (Juosten kustu).
- Angry Finns don’t say they will “kill you” …they offer to “take you behind the sauna” (Viedä saunan taakse).
- The Finns don’t encourage you (or themselves) to “drink more”… they just say that “a drop won’t kill and you can’t drown in a bucket” (Ei tippa tapa eikä ämpäriin huku).
- The Finns don’t think something is “very heavy”… they think it “weights like a sin” (Painaa kuin synti).
- The Finns don’t say that “it’s water under the bridge”… they say “it’s snow of the past winter” (Menneen talven lumia).
- The Finns don’t “bite the dust” …they “kick the emptiness” (Potkaista tyhjää).
Last but not least here are some true "Finnish Nightmares"
I'm sorry that this upload is super long, alot of text and some of you may not get everything. I just wanted to get some of my own culture and who I really am, out on my blog. Hope you got something and got a good laugh out of it.