​Heey, I'm currently on easter break and I'm already starting to get annoyed by the face that i don't have my casual routines anymore.

I mean everyday i wake up, go to school then come back home, eat, hang out with friends/do homework then shower and sleep. Now when I'm on a break i wake up and watch series or play games all day then sleep, it doesn't feel healthy, ya know? Atleast i got tomorrow planned out.

Just a random post, cya ;p

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Hi again!

I got home from school about an hour ago and in school i started thinking about something that I'm going to talk about right now. (I've thought of this before too)

What if life is a game? What if your life is just something you dream or imagine? What if everyone around you is programmed to say all the stuff they tell you, programmed to feel a specific feeling? Everyone that tells you that they are sad, that they are happy, people that makes you feel safe and makes you feel like you're not lonely, what if they are robots or programmed to do the stuff they do? That makes me feel so lonely and scared. What if someone is watching over you, controlling everything that happens around you like; a car caught on fire or just small things like someone dropping their lunch in front of you, just like in the sims or other games? If so, is that why everything always end up happily? Like you're scared and nervous for something but after doing that thing it's not as bad as you thought. Imagine being the only living creature and walking around with robots around you, how scary is that?

I don't know why i decided to write about this but it feels better telling someone about these kind of thoughts and i know that's not how it is but its pretty scary to think about isn't it?

(Holy moly, that was a lot of questions, haha) 



So, about one year ago i feel like i was a complete different person. I was hanging out with different peoples and i cared about different things, like popularity.

When i was hanging out with "the popular gang" i started ditching my best friend. The friend i have had for almost 4 years, we did everything together and we had everything in common but for tpg (the popular gang) she wasn't classified as "a popular kid". She wasn't wearing the right clothes or makeup. She liked different things and acted in a different way. I'm jealous over how she was brave enough to be herself. Because i was in the tpg and i wanted to stay popular i ditched her, didn't talk to her, made fun of her when tag did and sometimes when they talked shit about her i agreed, and I'm so ashamed.  Thinking back i feel so sorry for her. We even stopped talking for a long period of time.

Now I'm in a new group with the best people. I can be myself and i don't care if we're not the most normal people and we act a bit weird. I'm so glad i met them and happy for the person i've become. Even the girl i ditched is in my group. We became friends again one the summer and now we talk everyday. I still see tpg everyday and they laugh at us sometimes, give u weird looks but i honestly do not care anymore. I know that most of the people in tpg are afraid of showing who they really are and thats why I know am with the right friends.

H, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry for what i did to you last year, you're an amazing person and i really regret everything.

(This post is taken from my old blog but i felt like posting it because i still feel the same way)