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It's 4PM and still sunny! E and I are currently in the park having a play, wearing sunnies and drinking coffee/babychino. I just really love sitting in the park, watching all the kiddos play with each other. They all make each other so incredibly happy and smiley, going on the seesaw or sliding down the slide together with whom was a stranger just a second ago. That, yes that makes me really happy!

Anyhow, what have E and I been up to lately? Lots, I must say. This week has been busy, since it's half term (aka the week almost every single nanny/au pair hates the most). Yes, it means more work but also activities and stuff that are FILLED with parents/careers/kids, which can be a living hell sometimes, haha! But E and I have somehow missed all these activities with lots of people, apart from Swedish Church. We've been out in parks, saying hi to goats, baked cinnamon buns, cooked food, painted our nails, gone swimming with Therese and L and just been playing at home, making sure to spend all the time possible having fun!

What else has been going on? Last week I got a mystery parcel delivered from my parents filled with chocolate, bilar, and two basic tee's (mummy knows what I need, hehe). I've also spent my Friday with Ellen having a movie night in with Kinder eggs, Pepsi and chick flicks! Met up with Elsa on Saturday for a stroll on Broadway Market as well as a coffee in the most amazing coffee shop around the corned from mine! Met up with Ellen and Tayla, for a Swedish taco night and kladdkaka for dessert, which was an absolute success, one happy Aussie, two very happy Swedes! Been going on dates as well (with the same guy), and spending lots of time in the gym. No surprise really, eh?!

And that's about it really. Tonight I'm babysitting, or as E and I are calling it; having a pj's party. We've loaded up with lots of nice food, snacks, coconut water for E, frozen grapes and we're gonna have an epic night. Probably will end up falling asleep next to her, though. Because guess who's absolutely knackered? If you guessed me, you're absolutely correct.

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Klockan är 16 och det är fortfarande soligt! E och jag är just nu i parken och leker lite, har solglasögon på och dricker kaffe/babychino. Jag älskar verkligen att sitta i parken och se alla barn leka med varandra. De gör varandra så himla glada när de leker ihop, utan att ens bry sig det minsta om vem den andre är, för de blir kompisar just där och just då. Det gör mig verkligen glad!

Men men, vad har jag och E gjort den senaste tiden? Hur mycket som helst, om jag ska vara ärlig. Denna veckan har varit ganska galen, då det är lov-vecka här (den veckan ingen ser fram emot, alla hatar den). Lov betyder också mer jobb, men också att alla aktiviteter och sånt är proppat med föräldrar, nannies, au pairer och barn som ska trängas på ett och samma ställe, vilket är hemskt, haha! Men jag och E har på något sätt lyckats undvika alla dessa aktiviteter fyllda av människor, förutom Svenska Kyrkan, så klart. Vi har istället varit ute och lekt i parker, pratat med getter, bakat kanelbullar, lagat mat, målat naglarna, simmat med Therese och L och bara varit hemma och lekt och sett till att ha hur roligt som helst all den tid vi spenderat tillsammans!

Annars då? Förra veckan fick jag ett mystiskt paket levererat från mamma och pappa fyllt med marabou, bilar och två bastoppar (mamma vet vad jag behöver, hehe). Fredagen spenderades med Ellen hemma hos mig framför en film med Kinderägg och Pepsi! I lördags träffade jag Elsa för att strosa runt lite på Broadway Market och sedan gå bort till ett mysigt café/rosteri som ligger ett stenkast från mig! Träffade Ellen och Tayla på kvällen för en svensk taco-kväll med kladdkaka till efterrätt, vilket blev en succé. En glad australiensare och två glada svenskar, helt enkelt! Har gått på lite dejter också (med en och samma kille) och spenderat ganska mycket tid på gymmet. Förvånande, va?!

Och det är nog det faktiskt. Ikväll ska jag sitta barnvakt, eller som jag och E brukar kalla det: vi har pyjamasparty! Vi har laddat upp med massa god mat, snacks, kokosvatten till E, vindruvor som vi stoppat in i frysen och vi ska ha världens mysigaste kväll! Kommer antagligen somna bredvid henne, dock. För gissa vem som är helt död? Om ni gissade att det var jag, då har ni rätt!

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For the past FIVE, yes I repeat, f i v e months, Therese and I have been talking constantly about where we'd like to dance our butts off, sing on top of our lungs and be so freakin' happy. We've been trying out a couple of places, had plenty of fun, but still been talking a lot, about going to the Electric Ballroom for their 90's & early 00's party, which is hosted by Bring It All Back. But on Friday we F I N A L L Y went. Let me tell you that those five months have been worth the wait!!!!!

We went all in with the 90's theme, because let's face it, there's no fun in NOT going all in on a themed night out, okay?! So we both had space buns, did some sections with pastel hair chalks, glittery hairspray, brown lipstick, hoops, chokers, crop-tops, high waisted jeans, shirts tied around our waists and trainers with that. I literally felt like a spice girl, and I think the both of us will be glittering for at least a week now, haha!

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Så, de senaste FEM, jag repeterar, f e m månaderna, har Therese och jag konstant pratat om vart vi vill gå ut för att dansa loss, skriksjunga till alla låtar och vara så otroligt lyckliga. Vi har prövat några klubbar, haft superkul, men ändå pratat sååå himla mycket om att gå till Electric Ballroom för att gå på deras 90-tals/tidigt 00-tals party, vilket Bring It All Back anordnar. Men i fredags så gick vi Ä N T L I G E N. Och alltså det var verkligen värt att vänta fem månader!!!!

Vi gick verkligen all in på hela 90-tals temat, för alltså det är ju inte roligt att INTE göra något speciellt när det är en temakväll, okej?! Så båda två slog på stort och hade space buns, pastelliga slingor, glitterspray, brunt läppstift, ringar i öronen, chokers, magtröjor, högmidjade jeans, skjortor knutna runt midjan och gympadojjs till det. Jag kände mig som en spice girl och med närmare eftertanke tror jag nog att både Therese och jag kommer glittra i alla fall en vecka nu, haha!

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Hey ho, got a quick little update for you all!

So yesterday I took E out for a little adventure in town. We strolled through Covent Garden and down to National Gallery where we spent a couple of hours admiring all the art. She was absolutely amazed by everything and asked lots of questions as well as giggling to all paintings with naked bodies on, haha!

Today we're off to the Swedish Church for a stay & play sesh with Therese and L, and of course some cinnamon buns, hehe!

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Halli hallå, kör en snabb uppdatering här!

Igår så åkte jag och E på en liten utflykt in till stan. Strosade runt lite i Covent Garden och drog oss sedan ner till National Gallery, där vi spenderade några timmar på att titta på all konst. E var helt överväldigad över alla fina tavlor, frågade massa frågor och fnissade åt alla nakenfisar på tavlorna, haha!

Idag ska vi till Svenska Kyrkan på deras lekstund med Therese och L, och självklart käka några kanelbullar också, hehe!

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I'm sat here in my bed with neurofen, vitamins, cough medicine, echinacea drops and strepsils to try and get me through this massive cold that has got me feeling super poorly over the last couple of days. But I think tomorrow might be my first day back on track (whoop!).

Anyhow, this week has been good! Lots of early gym sessions, super nice weather with sun (yes, you heard me right) and lots of positivity. I've had lots of good coffee, seen E so incredibly happy, stopped by the park and play ground on our way back from pre-school a couple of days, and went home to Therese and L for a play sesh/dinner date. L and E are so incredibly cute together and it's so nice to see them play! But yeah, we made pizza and oh, that was some damn good pizza I must say, the kiddos enjoyed every single slice of that (as well as Therese and I did, hahaha). Poor little E fell asleep on me on our way back, so I had to carry her from the station all the way home, and I must admit that in that very moment, I was so happy that we live 1 minute from the station, haha!

Must tell you the funniest thing though!!! On Tuesday when we were on our way back from stay & play in the Swedish Church my dad called, and it took E 10 seconds to realise whom I was on the phone with, so she grabbed it and spoke to him all the way until we had to get off the train. She always finds her ways to entertain people around her, which sometimes can be hilarious!! And then when we came back home we called again, and she got sooooo disappointed when my mum answered instead of my dad, hahaha! But she spoke to them both, like had a proper chat and asked me lots of questions as well, walked around in the kitchen having the funniest body language I've ever seen.

And yeah, that's pretty much what we've been up to this week. Pretty nice, even though I've been stuck with a cold as well as being exhausted from Zumba!

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I bet you didn't expect two posts on the same day, but weheeey. Here we go!

So, I actually took my mum back with me to London! I think we've talked about this for a bit over a year now, so both of us were super happy to finally make it happen! We spent some time wandering around Covent Garden, had the worst PizzaExpress experience (haha), checked out Liberty, laughed a ton, cooked the best cannelloni ever and made a kick ass key lime pie, went to Breakfast Club, played with E, went to Camden, and spent all the time we could squeezing each other a tad more than usual, bursting into laughter and just relaxed. Absolutely wish she could come here more often, and the rest of the fam obvi haha!

Last week was a normal one, had plenty to do with E, had playdates with Therese and L, also had a spontaneous pizza party with the two cuties just mentioned. After a couple of weeks off the gym, I'm back there as well, more motivated than ever (strangely enough, haha).

What else has been going on? I finally met up with another Swedish au pair, that I've been writing to forever, and now she's finally moved here. SO we decided to meet up and grab some food at Jamie's Italian. Took us about 30 mins to actually decide on what to order since we constantly fell back into conversations about everything else. Totally worth it though! Food/cocktails/desserts were totally amazeballs, and I do like her, so I mean, it's absolutely not the last time I'm meeting up with her, hehehe.

Spent the weekend at Therese's. Met up quite early on Saturday to go for a quick stroll through Broadway Market, since she hadn't been yet! Grabbed some treats and a quick breakfast before we walked back to mine, packed my bag and headed to Brent Cross, where we weren't alone. Gosh, sooooo many people in the same shopping centre with the sales still going, it was mental, we got incredibly hangry and then decided to grab a GBK before going back to Therese's. Our original plan of going turned into a girls night in with cheap wine, snacks, chatting, laughing and me falling asleep to Fifty Shades. Was invited to a Sunday Roast there as well, which I couldn't say no to, and omg. The best thing everrrr.

And now I'm sat here, about to fall asleep any second. Got an early gym sesh tomorrow with Connie, which is now my gym-buddie instead of wednesday-french-toast-breakfast-buddie. I mean, it's a good swap, but I do miss the french toast. Lots. Hehehe.

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Time flies when you have lots of fun, and I guess that's what happened from Christmas and onwards. But yes, going back for some holiday was amazing, not just because I needed it, but also because I got to see my fam and lots of friends that I hadn't seen in forever!!

Starting it off with Christmas, it was such a cozy one. We got ready and headed to my auntie for some lunch, snacks and just to hang out, which we rarely do. Got to cuddle all of the doggies as well, which you can't really complain about, since they're the best doggies ever!! But after lunch, some Trivial Pursuit (with two very competitive teams), the fam and I left the doggies, aunties, the cousin and my nan for some cozy time at home in pj's and some gift exchanging. Literally as soon as we got in everyone ran to put their pj's on, so yeah the excitement was real. But yeah, everyone was happy with their gifts, and I was super happy to spend time at home, in pjs, having cuddles, sweets and Christmas soda with the fam!

Then on Christmas Day I met up with Ida for a power walk/breakfast/catch-up/mini Christmas before heading back home for a change and then jump in the car to pick Amanda up. Gosh, I was so happy I could cry!!! Must admit that my heart broke a bit when she left London for Sweden, but our friendship is one of a kind and I absolutely love that one to pieces. So yeah, we kinda squeezed each other, a ton, had some Christmas lunch with the fam who finally got to meet her and then had a mini Christmas. And guess who almost cried because she got pick&mix as one of her gifts? Yeah, I mean why would it have been me? Don't actually know what you were thinking there....

Ida picked us up and we went to grab some snacks and have a girls night in at mine, which consisted of silly snaps, laughs and a damn nice selection of snacks.

Went back to Amanda for a couple of days, which were so damn nice! Went to see fantastic beasts and DAAAAYM, that film!!! 10 out of 10 for sure!!! Go see it now, if it's still available to see in the cinemas. It's the best!

Got back home, met up with Kajsa, one of my closest friend from school. Had a shopping spree and grabbed a coffee/late dinner. Looked trough d conversation and laughed a lot when we looked through every single pic we had sent to each other. But it was so nice seeing her, since I've missed spending time with her, lots!

New Years we spent at some friend's with a Champagne Brunch, and then stayed there for a cozy gathering afterwards in pj's, having nice dinner and just relaxing, which was amazing!!

I also met up with my fave Aussie (Rach) whom I hadn't seen in forever!!! Gosh, how I'd missed her, we're talking lots! So we squeezed each other a ton, had a fika, strolled around a bit before we had to say good bye again! Hopefully it won't be 2 years until we see each other again!!!

And that's about what happened in Sweden, apart from the usual stuff and me chopping my hair off.

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This year has been one of a kind. Good, bad, weird, frustrating, fun, sad, hot, cold and ahh, I don't know really. Time flew by, and now we're here, this is the end of 2016. I started the year of in London, the first second of 2016 was in London. And it felt so good, despite the fact that Jennifer and I had to walk thought half of London in bloody heels, with champagne in our hair, but it still felt good. And I was so incredibly happy.

Even though it started so incredibly good, I somehow couldn't cope with my mental self. What started so incredibly good had gotten me to having my first ever anxiety attack at a club. In just a couple of hours I had gone from being happier than ever founding my new favourite club, dancing, singing out loud, to all of a sudden feeling panicky, trapped and alone, in the club where I just seconds ago had the time of my life. It felt so weird, to go from top to bottom in such a short amount of time. But I did, and it felt weird.

Apart from being an emotional wreck, I hung out with friends all of the time, every single weekend. Sleepovers, Sky Garden, Camden, Breakfast Club, Broadway Market. We were always up to something, and always discovered our own perfect little spots, such as Waterstones Piccadilly. We had our bits and pieces that made us happy, even if it was just posing in front of houses painted in pastel colours.

Spring came and I felt a bit better. I went down to Bournemouth to some family friends, to spend the weekend there, which was so lovely. Along with spring, Easter came, which meant having my brother here for a whole week. I felt safe and unbreakable, because he's the best. My lil' bro. Brighton, more Breakfast Club, went on dates, strolled around in the sun, went on carousels, ate cotton candy, had a birthday party, then I turned 20.

I turned 20, a huge deal, but then again, not massive. Had the best day ever with brunch, besties and my lil bestie. Got to spend the night with my closest friends, had drinks and got surprised by my family, auntie + her hubby. I felt so happy, so incredibly damn happy. And I couldn't believe that they managed to surprise me, but as soon as they walked in to that door, and I realised that it was them, I burst into tears. So I got to spend time with the ones who I love the most, for a couple of days, celebrating my birthday. And it all felt good.

Even more time was spent with my friends, went on spontaneous cinema visits, stopped dating, discovered new parts of London who made me fall in love a bit more, met new friends, had picnics, enjoyed the sun and had my absolute best friend from back home over for a week and got to show her all the gems, the best bits of the town I love the most, fell in love with Vauxhall and Battersea Park, sat next to two of my "celeb" crushes, went to the O2 and danced all night long to Macklemore, set a budget for my future life here, applied for a thousand part time jobs.

Spent the beginning of the summer with my best friends, got addicted to Candy Kittens, spent hours outside in different parks with E and went back to Sweden for some holiday, jumped right in to mentally prepare myself that a close friend to my family could pass away any day, couldn't really prepare enough and got the call. Cried, took care of his daughters, spent time with my family, got myself another tattoo.

Came back to the UK, got disappointed with the results from the EU referendum, celebrated midsummer in Hyde Park with hundreds of Swedes, went on adventures with E, met even more new friends, had lots of cocktails late at night, ate pizza in parks with friends, got myself a part time job at GBK, was so happy I could die, because I was one step closer to actually fulfil my dream of living here together with my best friend, had playdates in parks with paddling pools and picnics, drank beer on rooftops, saved a friend who got drugged, spent evenings and weekends strolling along the Thames, drinking iced coffees and talking lots, found some new favourite spots along the Thames, took E to Battersea Park, fell in love with it even more, and somewhere along there I kinda lost it.

I lost it all, along the Thames on a bike when I all of a sudden had gotten a text saying that I had a double shift, which I didn’t know about. Apart from that I stepped in dog shit and later on my bag got stuck in my wheel, which got me on the ground with the bike over me. One broken phone, one squashed phone a smashed lip balm, and a limping Frida later I completely lost it. I sobbed, because I was a bit broken. I had gotten my dream a bit smashed and I felt shattered. A bit like a bauble who’s on the floor in a million pieces. She had decided to move back to Sweden and that was absolutely everything I had been looking forward to for the past couple of months; moving in together with my best friend in the town I had continued to fall in love with again and again. But now I couldn’t, because she was going back, back to Sweden.

But I continued to do stuff, constantly being busy, just so I did not think about it. So I went to Brighton all alone, treated myself, bought new shoes, spent time in the sunshine on my breaks with a milkshake in my hand and a podcast in my ears, got so incredibly drunk during a shoot for an ad, had little E back from holiday, went on a staff party, booked an appointment at the salon I’d been dreaming of doing my hair for so long, said good bye to Emma and cried lots the day before she went back to Sweden, celebrated E’s birthday in Frinton with ice cream, fish & chips, prosecco and sand castle building on the beach and then I fell in love with London a bit more during Notting Hill Carnival and played mini golf with a laughing audience consisting of Amanda and every single person who played mini golf that evening.

Fall came and we continued to spend as much time as we possibly could in the park, catching as much sun as possible, I finally had my hair done and got treated like a princess with cocktails and glittery popcorn, went on the first overground from Hackney C to catch an early flight back to Sweden, reunited with my best friend, sat outside having tapas with the family, babysat my cousin’s dog, laughed so much at the airport that the security who walked by laughed at my mum and I, caught a very delayed flight back to London, spent all the time we could outside in parks, discovered red velvet pancakes, found a new favourite café, spent most of my spare time with Amanda, started French-Toast-Wednesdays at the new favourite café, got up super early to watch the sunrise from Primrose Hill with a kick ass breakfast and Amanda, went on a day trip to Brighton with E, had a goodbye-lunch with Amanda before she went back to Sweden, went out partying with Connie, had pizza on Leicester Square at 4am, met up with new friends and made lots of cinnamon buns.

My family came for London Cocktail Week, had lots of cocktails, laughed lots, took my brother to the Harry Potter Studio Tours and said ”See you in December!”. Sorted a gym membership out, found a comfort zone, a place to be happy, partied a bit more, had more amazing brunch, posed in front of pastel coloured houses in Kentish Town, found the perfect frozen yoghurt, handed in my notice to GBK, had my cousin coming over, had even more cocktails, showed him around London, did all the touristy things, had lots of nice food and felt so comforted by having him here.

Went on a couple of dates, started giving 100% at the gym, discovered 26 Grains aka porridge heaven, went across London to save a friend, came up with dance routines to guilty pleasure songs, met even more new friends, partied a bit more at KOKO, booked tickets home for Christmas/New Years, stared practicing with the choir for Lucia, had playdates, made gingerbread houses, celebrated a birthday with food, cocktails, girls and karaoke, started gaining more confidence and slowly kicking my anxiety’s butt, had a couple of days off, made myself feel pretty, went to Winter Wonderland, went on a few more dates, spent time with my new friends, spent time at Winter Wonderland, made saffron buns, felt happy, did our first Lucia performance in Brighton, started planning out a new dream, performed in both Westminster and Southwark Cathedral, bought a ton of christmas gifts, wrapped them all, spent some cosy time with E, took her to the cinema, had a gift exchange with friends as well as my host fam and then set off to Sweden.

This is it, really. It’s been a hell of a year, and I must admit that I am kinda happy that 2016 soon is over. Since Amanda went back to Sweden I’ve been feeling down, lonely and a bit crushed. I mean, it’s not that strange after all. Because I had it all planned, all set up. But things don’t always work out how you’d like them to. And sometimes it takes a bit longer to actually settle and put a new plan together, get things clear. I’m not really 100% there yet, but I am also fine with that, maybe because I don’t want to stress with decisions that has to be made. I might just have to take one day at a time and plan something new, something unbeatable and something where I actually can allow to put myself first.

But I’ve been so incredibly happy this year as well, it’s been the best. I’ve made so many new friends, close friends that I love to pieces. And memories, gosh I’ve got lots of new memories as well, lots of special ones, some who makes me giggle and some who immediately fills me with positivity. It’s nearly impossible to describe how thankful I am to all of the ones who’s been there for me, there with me and who’s absolutely made this year into what it turned out to be. I really am happy to have such amazing friends who’s there with you discovering gems, finding happy places, crying in McDonald’s, showing up to your door with snacks/cuddles/support, having breakfast/lunch/dinner/late night drinks at Starbucks. It amazes me every single time how supportive every single one of my friends are, without you I don’t know what I would’ve done. You have been the best, even though you’ve moved back to Sweden.

I think all of the things who’s happened in 2016 has shaped me a bit more. Shaped me into a less anxious, more confident person. And I’ve got both family, friends and the gym to thank for that. I’ve finally found something that I enjoy doing, even though I feel like dying on the inside. But I feel happy when I’m there, in the gym, having a red and sweaty face, pushing myself to the limit. It’s such a strange feeling when you find yourself feeling happy, more energetic as well as stronger both mentally and physically. This might actually be a part of me, a part of me that I’ll keep. Not because I want to prove people wrong, because it makes me feel so much happier, and that is a key.

To be completely honest, though, I still haven’t found myself. I’m only 20 and I know that I wouldn’t be happy if I tried to stress something. Right now I’m more than happy to work with E, planning out a new dream and future one step at a time and slowly making progress. I still don’t know if I want to study or not, because I’m not quite sure that I feel like uni is something for me. The best part is that I know that I’ve got time, time to think everything through a billion times more. I have time to figure out what I want to become when I grow up, even though I deep down inside wish to become a princess.

All I know now is that I’m gonna start the very first second of 2017 in Sweden, with my family. And it feels so good to know, that I’m gonna be surrounded by people I love with all my heart, inside out.

2017 already feels so good, because I’m slowly making progress into shaping myself as the person I want to become, not the person society wants me to become. Focusing on things that makes me happy, forming the future I want, or at least for now. Let’s not stress anything, though. Let’s just be happy with what we have and who we are. I know I am, today, tomorrow and hopefully 2017 as well.

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There's something about airports. Seriously, they make me so darn happy every single time! And I might have mentioned this before, but it's true! So yeah, if you haven't figured it out yet; I'm on my way back to Sweden, for some holiday! Gosh I'm so so so so excited about it. Not only 'cause I'll spend lots of time with the Fam, Amanda's coming over and I'm going back to Nybro with her for a couple of days! Also V excited to come home to a fully decorated house and wake up to the smell of christmas tree. And speaking of Christmas: E told my host parents that I'm the queen of Christmas, lil cutie!!

December has been hectic af. Lucia performances, planning stuff, working lots and buying tons of christmas gifts. Actually bought the last one yesterday, which has never happened before. I'm always the one who's done with everyone's gifts within the first week of December, but not this time!

This weekend I've had a little mini-Christmas with Therese and Helena. We had some nice gingerbread, cake, saffron buns and some tea to feel super festive. Also fully learned the choreography to Jingle Bell Rock, so yeah, guess you could say that Helena and I are slowly making progress (this time not including any vodka or wine in our choreography making, hahah). But yeah, after our little tea-time we exchanged gifts and ended up with glitter everywhere from the wrapping paper I used, lol! But we were all very happy with each other's gifts and I'm so thankful to be their friend and, of course, to have them as my friends! They're the best! Went to Costa for some hot choc, bought some hair dye and dyed Helena's hair before I had another mini-Christmas with my host fam! They loved their gift and I absolutely loved mine!

Monday and no swimming for little EP, because I had promised her a day out including cinema and babyccino! So we went on the train/tube to the O2 arena, strolled around in there, picked a restaurant, strolled a bit more, had a babyccino, skipped to Pizzaexpress, where we had some lunch before we went to see Moana (and obvi buy some popcorn, because cinema without popcorn is no fun). I've never seen her so incredibly excited and happy! All of little E was so full of energy and excitement and oh, those eyes just sparkled! I chose to take her to the cinema as her christmas gift partly because she's got absolutely everything a 3 year old possibly needs, but mostly because around 3,5 years old is when you start to make your first memories, and I wanted her to have one V special with me. So we went all out and had the best day! She absolutely loved Moana, and I highly recommend to watch it!!! It's such an amazing production as well as a lovely story (also, it's Disney, who doesn't love a good Disney movie?).

I've still got a few hours to kill here at the airport, so I'm gonna start to stroll around here, maybe maybe maybe buy something nice for myself. But we'll see. Hopefully I'll remember my laptop this time and do not leave it by the MAC counter, haha!

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