I’m 21 years old, or to be more exact; I’m 21 years, 1 month and 23 days. I used to think I would have my life sorted to 99% by now, but as time has gone I have also realised that having your life sorted to at least 99% when you’re 21 is quite an unrealistic sort of goal to have.
A somewhat more realistic goal is to find happiness, or at least what happiness means right now. I have so many things that used to be what happiness ment to me that I now absolutely can not relate to happiness now. There’s been lots of things that’s been contributing to what has made me feel happy in the past, that I’m now not really associate with happiness at all. And I find it weird that things that used to make me feel the most happy now makes me feel angry, sad or a bit miserable. But on the other hand I have figured out things that has also stuck with me from day one, and probably will stick with me and my view of happiness until the day I’m no longer here.
One of the happiest days in my life were 21st of July 2015, the day when I finally moved to London. Moving here has absolutely made me a happier person, not just because I fulfilled a dream of mine, took a huge step and went in the opposite direction of what most of the other friends my age did. I have gained so much confidence just by moving here without knowing anyone, trusting myself and just live without any direct pressure from the kind of society I used to be in. I’m happy that I managed to stand up for myself and what I wanted to do, not what anyone else wanted me to do or fit in.
Along the way I have discovered that I constantly need new challenges to feel happy, and that’s part of why I changed from Au Pair to Barista/F&B assistant at Hilton and moving to my own place. I needed a change, and change makes me feel happy.
It amazes me every day that I find new ways to feel happy, not just through family, friends, change and other obvious reasons. I need happiness to function, just like everyone else. The thing is that what I’ve got and what makes me happy, might not make you happy.
I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my life and which decisions will make me feel happy for a longer period of time. I can not say for how long London and the UK will make me feel happy, maybe I need something bigger than this or something much much smaller. It’s all about trying to achieve a few goals at a time that may add up to a bigger one in the end, but we all will have time to figure out it along the way, even though you’re 12, almost 23 or 87 years old. Just don’t stress any decisions, it will become clear as time passes by.
It might be tattoos, traveling, dogs, makeup, gym, strolling around discovering new thing with friends, buying that one thing you've been longing to have, photography, baking, getting respected, learning coffee art, finding true love or breaking old habits. Time will tell,