Friendly reminder to everyone


I feel like the thought that, for many people, comes to mind, when the word "health" comes up is; fitness, abs, diets, that #summerbod, skinny tanned girls in bikinis promoting detox tea - and those thoughts counts for me too, but still I find it a bit weird, because as a, lets say, 10 year old, I would probably have said; not having any illnesses, having more or less the ideal weight, exercising(not training or working out, but exercising), eating vegetables and fruit. Health has developed into a very extreme thing, and I think that is the reason, why a lot of people boomerang around with their diets and exercise.

It hurts all the way into my brain, whenever people one day, out of the blue, says; "I am going to start working out one hour, six days a week and the seventh day I'll do yoga. Other than that I'm going to 100% stop eating sweets, cake and other sugars" - because, let's be real, is that actually going to happen? Not that I want to destroy all hopes, but that is a lot of changes, and it just is very hard to go from 0-100 on the fitness scale. It's not impossible, but very hard.

It's not like I'm a saint, I've definitely been there too. "100% I'm going to get fit, get that summer body ready, my body is a temple" blah blah blah... I've then ended boomeranging back and forth. Working out and eating clean, taking care of my body. Eating whatever I want, enjoying life, feeding my soul. But then I don't feel good, because that's what unhealthy foods do to you, so back at it. But when I'm eating healthy and working out, I feel like I'm restricting myself from life, and then back into nutella, sweets and sofa chilling - and the circle goes on. Or well it didn't. I got tired of it, I wanted to find a balance. That's when I stopped eating healthy and working out, and started eating well and exercising - but isn't that the same thing? No, not to me atleast. The thing with dieting and training is all in your head. It IS possible to do one more burpee! Your body can do much more than you think, it's your brain telling you that you can't do another one. You CAN stay away from sugar, even though your hands are shaking, you want to cry and can't find peace and calm. It's all mentally - it's all in your head. When I think of working out and eating healthy, the picture I see in my head, is a gym and a really boring salad. When I think of exercising and eating well, I think of walking my dog and eating vegetables, but also a donut once in awhile.

My biggest wish isn't a sixpack. I don't need my body looking uber healthy on the outside, I just need it to be my 10 year old description of healthy, on the inside. Health should be about how you feel, not how you look. So what if you weigh a few kilograms more or less than your ideal weight, as long as you feel good and happy, that's what counts. Find balance and don't pressure yourself into extreme lifestyles, just because that's what society wants you too.

And one thing that I didn't know where to put in; you don't have to start running, to go for a run. If you one day feel like going for a run, do it, it doesn't have to mean that, that's now an annual thing and now you have to run thirty minutes, 5 days a week, improving and improving, going hard. No, you can go for that run, and then perhaps do it again in two months! That's totally up to you.

Throw on lots of highlighter, take a bite of an apple, post on instagram and voila, everyone will think you're healthy - scary how easy it is, huh?

See you on the flipside

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I'm not good at dealing with stress, and that has lead me to this really bad habit. I just smoked about a fourth of a cigarette, not much, but when I felt the need to do that, and went to get my lighter and my packet of red Prince, I realised that this is not the first time stress/depression/anxiety has lead me to smoke. It's not the second time. It's my third time smoking because of that, and my third time smoking without being drunk. I smoked tobacco for the very first time at the end of last year at a party. I was offered a cigarette by one of my friends, who was quite surprised when I said yes. I had been offered a cigarette quite a few times before, but always said no. My dad smokes you see, so I've always hated it. But I had for some time actually wanted to try it, so I said yes. My friends helped me light it and told me how to do it. I smoked 1,5 cigarettes with no problem - no coughing, nothing - and that actually scared me a bit. My dad has always been smoking inside the house, so I have been used to the smoke - but I didn't think, that it was this much. I really didn't think I had gotten that much smoke in my lungs over the years, but I had. Scary. Since then I have smoked a bit here and there at parties, and I actually crave a smoke every time I'm drunk.

Today I realised, that this is becoming a habit, slowly building up. Both of my parents have smoked (my dad still does), 5+ people in my family smokes and one or two of my friends smoke, which makes it quite a normal part of my life. I don't want to start smoking for real, and I don't think I will, but it does scare me, that this is becoming a habit. Everytime I watch a movie or a tv show, where someone smokes, I catch myself inhaling for a bit longer than normal, as if I were the one, who was smoking.

I don't recommend anyone out there to smoke. You can very quickly get addicted. Everytime I smoke, I look at the package and feel bad. On the package there is a picture of a woman, throwing up blood and on the side of the package it says; "Tobacco smoke contains more than 70 carcinogenic chemicals" - That says it all, but at the same time I'm a bit scared of restricting myself at the moment. I'm having quite a hard time in my life, and I need all the help and relieve I can get, to get through this.

Moral of the story; nobody is perfect, we all screw up, do stupid things - but we all try our best.

Dont smoke - it kills.

But isn't it funny, how we always end up doing the things, we said we would never do.


See you on the flipside



That sounds weird, and it is! It's truly frustrating and awful and confusing! I have this hobby/interest/sport/lifestyle, that I absolutely love! When i'm home at night, I will sometimes scroll through my instagram feed, for an example, and see other people, who has the same hobby/interest/sport/lifestyle as me, and I feel so motivated. I just want to go and work on my beloved sport all day and get really good, but when it comes to the morning, I get anxious and panicky. The thought of going out my front door and go do it, freaks me out. I still do my sport everyday, but I wish, I could do it many many more hours a day. I love my sport when i'm doing it! When i'm training, I love it and I wish I could go on all day! The problem is getting out of the door and the inbetween bits. The thought of working hard on my sport freaks me out enough for me to go into a panic attack, if I keep pushing on, and when the panic attack has taken over my head/body there's no way, the thing I actually want to do is happening... I love my sport, but I don't want to go and do it. I've thought about it a lot, and debating whether I should quit, because I actually don't really like it, do I? When I am doing the sport, right in the moment, I love it. The only thing that can ruin it right there, is me thinking about time; "I still have 1,5 hours to go, before I can go home" and I actually go around and count down sometimes; "Only 3 hour left, 2 hours, 1,5 hours, 1 hour, 30 minutes..." it's absolutely awful. It is especially awful, because i'm dreaming of making this sport into my job one day - that would be a job, I would be very proud to have! But can I do it? Should I do it?

The funny thing is, that I actually really want to go and do my sport right now, but I know tomorrow morning, I'll really not want to go and probably start panicking :)))))...

I feel like i'm the only person in the whole wide world, who feels like this and everyone else, who do the same sport as me, can't wait to get out of the door and get started

For a long time I thought I was just lazy, but I am starting to think, realise and accept that it is probably my head, my brain that is doing it all - as always :))) I'm not a very well functioning person yay

These thoughts have been the main theme in my head a lot the last week, because it hasn't been a very nice week for me. I'm the kind of person that just can't turn a bad day into a good one. If my monday starts off badly, the rest of monday, and perhaps the rest of the week, is going to be like that - and that is how my week has been. I really hope I can start a new week off NICELY tomorrow pls

Do more of what makes you happy - true - but what if I don't know what makes me happy

See you on the flipside



Here i am - i just uploaded a blog - what am i doing - i don't know help

Is it weird to be nervous, almost anxious about starting this blog? I've started a blog before, but chickened out before i as much as thought about writing a post. Pathetic haha. But here i am, writing away

I truly am going against my ground values; making a "welcome to my blog, this is how it's going to go down" (hence why the post isn't actually called "welcome" - trying to fool myself) but, again, here i am.

I've chosen to make a blog as an outlet. I have a lot on my mind, and often I feel like should put it out in the world, try to make a difference. I'm quite an open minded person, and that is probably one of the things about me, i'm the most proud about, so of course I would like to leave such a mark on the world. Even if that mark is this small secret corner of the internet.

This is not a fashion, beauty, salad leaf blog (but the chance of it becoming that, now that I've put it out into the world, is increasing haha) (not that there is anything wrong with that btw) but other than that, who knows what this will be.

I'm not selling myself very well on this one, but perhaps you'll pop in again sometime. That would be nice.

Before I finish this post, I just want to add something. I have cut myself, somehow, on the tip of one of my fingers and it really hurts. Apparently a lot of nerves ends, end there and that's why. So please do not cut your fingertips, be careful and keep them away from cat claws and sharp paper corners.

XOXO Gossip girl

Nah just kidding haha (I haven't even watched that show)

See you on the flipside