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Everything started back in 2009 when pain started to take over my life. It wasn't that bad back then it was not even that serious but it was something that i at least started to complain about. Anyways i don't want to tell you to much about my first 4 years of struggling because the last two years from 2013- now have been more painful and hard for me than any other years in my entire life.

2009: The pain started, went to my first doctors appointment about my knee, i went to my first physiotherapy excersising .

2010-2012: I started to complain to my gymnastic teacher, my family and it definitely started to become life changing to me and i started to say no to different activities in school, to my friends that contained running.

2013: This was the year when it became a daily life struggle. I was out on a walk and my knee locked it self in a bended position and i couldn't do anything about it. I went to the hospital and my doctor just told me i needed physiotherapy. So i got a new physiotherapist she was my fifth one and she was great but i just knew that this wasn't for me. Everything just became worse, i got tired , my whole body was a mess. Relatives and people around me started to tell me that I was lazy when I gave up on the physiotherapy, they told me that's what I needed. In November 2013 I barely didn't go to school and in December I decided to quit.

2014: From the point when I quit school until August I was spending a lot time just laying in my bed doing nothing and kinda just rejected a lot of people. I went to a physiologist and I got sent there to see if I "lied" about my knee problem because they now thought that my knee pain was because I was depressed and I had to sit there and explain to her that I got depressed because I was in so much pain. I didn't go to school in the start of 2014 I was not even getting up from my bed, I wasn't either. I had times when I just wanted to end my life because the pain took over. Then in August I took up school again , I started at a boarding school where I actually live only a few meters from school so I could handle it all.

2015: In the start of this year I now have been on crutches over a year and it started to get really hard for me being happy, showing of who I was. Under this time I lost myself. I lost who I was and that one thing I don't think I will be able to really get back to. I used to be over positive I used to be positive about everything , I was always happy and hide my feelings to everyone except the people I was really close to. Now at this time I was showing everyone what I was feeling, my facial expressions showed when I was in pain and other feelings started to show off as well. Like I said I lost a part of myself. But one thing I didn't lose is that I'm stubborn and I never gave up. 2015 was the year when this chapter of my life kinda ended. They found the problem and i actually had two problems in my knee and one of them I've had since before I even was born. And on December 9th I had my surgery and they fixed the problems. I cried when I found out they find the problems and they fixed it.

2016: I've now thrown away the crutches. My biggest problem tho is that I'm way to hard on myself, I'm just over excited on everything I will be able to do this year that I haven't been able to do in almost 7 years. I'm still on pain killers and I'm still in pain. But this pain is a pain I actually can live with. I'm so relieved I don't need help with every single thing I do now. I feel so free.

Between 2009-now I've had:

9 physiotherapists

Between 15-20 doctors in different areas

Two times that people have called the ambulance.

Was on crutches for over 800 days.

The point of this post is just me sharing my story, and i want people who have people telling them it's wrong in their head. That you're stupid because the pain is not real. If you know it's real then it's real. Never give up and never stop complaining. Be strong and make sure you get your voice heard. At the end of hearing for 6 years straight that something is wrong with my head I actually started to believe that. I'm just saying DONT give up, whatever pain you're having that's going on you need to do everything to find out. For me it didn't matter how many times I've told them my knee locked it self and I wasn't able to walk for days after that, for me it didn't matter how many times I had witnesses for the times I fell and was on the floor crying and screaming because of the pain. They still didn't believe me. But I believed myself and I had people around me like family and friends who believed in me.

This blog will be about me and about my process since I had my surgery. It haven't even been a month since I had it. And I'm sorry my English is not the best I just felt that it was necessary to share my story to everyone.

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