It's so frustrating... it's like if I'm happy for to long I just have to get sad even if I have nothing to be sad over?
Does anyone else feel this?
For me it's like the light just get turned off or like you just hit a wall. It can be all so good, I can be so happy then with no warning I just hit a wall or the light just get turned off...
it's killing me to be honest. I want to be happy but it's really like it's "you've been happy for to long now so let's drown you in thoughts so you get sad and broken again"... I don't know how to deal with it. I'm hoping to learn soon and get the help I need. But that's not something I want to talk about because it's a fight I have with myself.
It just hurts a lot and sometimes when all the thoughts just comes part of me just want to give up and stop trying to swim.
A lot of people don't understand this and that's why I don't talk about surten things because I get the reply like I'm a freaking idiot. So I keep
It to myself. I've tried of course, to talk about some things that crosses my mind and it's always the same thing. Still the closest tell me I can say everything to them. I do believe them
I guess it's just to heavy for them to understand which I'm sort of happy about in one way? You have to have had the thoughts yourself to get it. It just hurts to not be able to talk about it and when I've tried I get the response I'm most afraid off... that I'm stupid. The "you can't think like that" "why would you say something like that"... it's difficult and it's killing me. It's not like I like thinking like that? Not like I'm doing it on purpose? I don't mean to think them things but I do and I have no one to tell them to simply because it's to heavy or something.
It's not always easy to fight a war that's against yourself. Your own thoughts... it's hurtful.
Yet yourself is the best person to tell all to because you won't get the reply like you're an idiot etc. I think you have to be your own best friend to survive. I know what I'm going through, I know how it feels, I know me. So I won't be judged to tell myself.
I know you need others to talk to as well, that's it's not good to keep it all to yourself but it's definitely easier when you've tried to tell others and felt like an idiot instead. I usually think like if I tell others it could hurt them to and I don't want anyone else to hurt. When I love someone I would literally go through hell for them. I would do anything. So to tell someone something that might hurt or ruin things I keep it to myself instead because I know I can deal with it.
I'll wrap this up now, I'll link a song to that I for the moment love!
Kiss&hug beloved ones 😘❤️
Listen to the song is my recommendation!