One thing I've learned is that you can't force yourself into feelings, in what kind of relationship it applies to. What benefit does it give to you both? Sometimes, it doesn't matter how thoughtful, kindly or helpful the other person is. If chemistry doesn't work, it does not work, it's just like that. It's like two positive poles in a magnet that want to get together but they hit the magnet ball, you can't get through the ball, even if you fight until you get really sweaty. It sounds crazy but it's like this sometimes, and it takes more energy that you can even imagine. A relationship should feel good, no hassle, no accomplished gestures, no thoughts before saying anything, no unnecessary forgiveness, no cry for help to others in situations. No and nothing is strong words certain occasions, it shouldn't be needed in a good relationship, friendship or love, it's supposed to feel good and you can be just as you are and want to be.
But it's in that occasion when you're going to take the courage and explain how it feels it gets tough, you don't want to hurt but do the best for the other person. It's the hardest thing I know, to actually hurt someone without meaning. But as I said, I have learned that feelings can't be forced, and therefor you get forced to hurt even if it's without meaning. You can't torture yourself because it brights up so clear through, in one way or another. There were no feelings, nothing bad meant, but only with pure love.
- Some completely unintelligible sentences, yet something I know what it's all about.