Hey everyone, how are you all? I'm ok I think.
So yesterday was the 'World suicide prevention day.'
This topic means a lot to me. And it's very serious. It's nothing to joke about. I absolutely hate when people joke about suicide or mental illnesses.

Why do people kill themselves on purpose? It can be because of bullying, abuse, depression or many other reasons.
People who commit suicide want the pain to end.
Let me tell you, people who commit suicide are not selfish or attention seekers. Trust me, I know.


On average, 2000-3000 people commit suicide daily. For every person who kills themselves, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives.
Please hold on. I know it's hard, it's so damn hard. But don't give up. Life has so much in store for you. Places you haven't visited, movies you haven't seen, food you haven't tasted, music you haven't heard, books you haven't read, sunsets you haven't seen, people you haven't met, things you haven't experienced. Don't let go. Stay. Don't let this dark world bring you down. Be the light. Be the light this world needs.
You are here for a reason. You maybe don't know what that reason is but you will find out. Everything happens for a reason. You maybe don't know what that reason is but you'll find out.
And if you are dealing with suicidal thoughts or depression, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Suicide doesn't end the pain, it gives the pain to some else. Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better.
Don't give up.

Design your blog - select from dozens of ready-made templates or make your own; simply “point & click” - click here!

Likes

Comments

Hey everyone. How are you all?
I'm ok I think. Feeling depressed like always and my sleeping schedule is fucked up. I haven't slept well at all. I've had trouble to fall asleep. It has taken me hours to fall asleep and that means I've only been getting like four hours of sleep each night these past two weeks..
School started on Tuesday. First week was ok, no homework and it was pretty chill. But next week we have a normal week and honestly I'm not excited because this week that was pretty chill was difficult to get through and it sucks because this will get harder. But I just need to get through it somehow right?
I'm also going to see my therapist on Monday and I haven't seen her in over two months because I was on summer break. But I'm seeing her on Monday and I have a lot to tell her.
A lot has happened since I last saw her and I haven't even talked about the things here on my blog. For example my girlfriend broke up with me because it was long distance and it broke my heart because I really loved her. And also one of my relatives past away and I've been feeling so incredibly depressed and my brother moved to my mom because school and that means my dad is alone because no one is keeping him company except the dog because I'm always in my room thinking about death and I don't want my dad to be alone but I don't know what to do.  I'm also getting out of shape and feeling like shit because I'm so unhealthy.
Life is really hard oh my god.

And I just hope this school year is going to go well because it's a really important year. And it sucks because I'm feeling more depressed than ever. And I have to work on a lot of things. I have to stop being afraid to be wrong, stop being afraid of making mistakes and I have to stop comparing myself to literally everyone. It's destroying me. I also have to work on my history and pretty much every other subject. And this year I'm learning German and I feel like it's going to be hard. And I have to work on my behavior. It's not that I'm a bad kid it's just that I'm not really focusing and I'm laughing with my best friend literally all the time and I'm talking too much. I can already feel my grades sinking and it's only been a week so I have to really really get my life together or this year will be just as shit as the last one.

Today is Saturday and I'm going to draw and paint because I haven't had time to do that and I'm also going to take a long hot shower and listen to music. And I'm probably also going to take a nap.

But I hope you all are ok and hope you take care of yourselves and remember you are all beautiful and I love you.

Likes

Comments

It will be ok.
Shhh just close your eyes.
Cover your ears.
Listen to the silence.
Breathe.
Let the tears stream down your face.
Keep breathing.
Inhale, exhale.
It will all be over soon.
Shhh be quiet.
It will be ok.
It's not your fault.
It never was, it will never be.
But don't get in the way.
Just sit there and wait.
Don't open your eyes yet.
Just keep quiet, it will all be over soon. It will all be ok.

Likes

Comments

True friends are hard to find. So when you find a true friend, keep that person close. Never let that person go.
I'm so damn lucky to have one true friend. That's right, one. You don't need many friends. Quality over quantity.
Me and my best friend have known each other since 1st grade but we didn't get close until in 7th grade (this year). We started talking more, hanging out more and we realized we like the same things. When we started talking more I also realized that we have the same mindset. And a person with the same mindset as me is hard to find.
Me and my best friend can talk about anything. Anything.
And what I also love about her is that she doesn't like to talk shit about other people. We talk more about deep stuff or goals rather than talking about why someone is annoying or why we hate them.
Because friendships are not about gossiping. Friendships are about making memories, being there for each other and trusting each other.
And I also believe in long distance friendships. They can be just as serious as any other friendships.

Find friends that support you and your goals, who you can cry with, laugh with, who you can talk about anything with and someone who you enjoy being with. Because I've had friends that make me feel so bad about myself, someone who took all my positive energy. And I don't talk to them anymore.
Find friends who you feel most comfortable with, who you can be yourself with.

Likes

Comments

If you feel like life is horrible and pointless and don't see a reason to stay here, I made this list of things of reasons to stay alive, things that make my soul happy. Things, feelings, experiences that make me happy. It took me a few hours to come up with these things. I hope after reading this you maybe feel more happy and remember to be grateful for everything.
And feel free to make your own list. Some of these things I actually haven't experienced but I can imagine how happy they make people. But anyway so here's a list of things, feelings, experiences that make me happy.

- Discovering new music.
- Eating when you're really hungry.
- Going to a nice restaurant.
- That calming feeling when you drink hot coffee in the morning.
- Seeing the sun shine through your window first thing when you open your eyes in the morning.
- Sunrises.
- Breathtaking sunsets.
- Deep talks with the right person.
- The feeling you get after you shaved your legs and put on a oversized t-shirt and curl up in bed with fresh sheets.
- Pizza.
- Big sweaters.
- Fall.
- Colorful leaves in fall.
- Fall fashion.
- Great outfits that make you feel good.
- Christmas.
- Shopping for Christmas.
- Photoshoots.
- Reading a good book for the first time.
- Buying books.
- Decorating your first own apartment.
- Going to ikea.
- Going to the movies.
- Adventures.
- Visiting new places.
- The feeling you get when you're hiking and get to the top and it feels like you're on top of the world.
- The smell of fresh flowers.
- Getting a pet.
- Cuddling with your pet.
- Long hugs.
- Forehead kisses.
- Roadtrips.
- Concerts.
- Going to bed when you're really tired.
- Sound of waves.
- Sound of the wind blowing through the leaves.
- Smell of fresh cut grass.
- Seeing someone you love after a long time.
- Coffeeshops.
- The excitement you get when you see a good movie trailer.
- Laughing until you cry and until your abs hurt.
- Taking pictures.
- The smell of a scented candle.
- Fairy lights.
- Decorating your room.
- Those long unforgettable nights with your best friends.
- Bonfires.
- Traveling.
- Great hair days.
- Cozy outfits.
- That feeling of confidence when you're wearing heels.
- That feeling when you take off your bra after a long day.
- Finishing a good book.
- Having a movie marathon.
- When they spell your name right at Starbucks.
- Starbucks.
- Nice hotel rooms.
- Hot showers.
- Sauna.
- Hot chocolate.
- Chocolate.
- Christmas lights.
- Weddings.
- Cute text messages.
- Coffee.
- Picnics.
- Seeing your idol create something new for their audience.
- Seeing your idol succeed.
- Getting a tweet from your idol.
- Getting a follow from your idol.
- The feeling you get when your crush likes your picture.
- Hearing someone say I love you.
- When someone tags you in pictures.
- Getting different kinds of tea you've never tasted.
- Arizona tea.
- Seeing your idol happy.
- YouTube videos that make you happy.
- Inspiring YouTube videos.
- Knowing the lyrics to your favorite song.
- Singing in the car.
- Fireplaces.
- Dogs.
- Art.
- The feeling of peace you get when you look at the stars.
- Huge teddybears.
- Getting a letter.
- Birthday cards.
- Christmas cards.
- That amazing feeling when you listen to a good song and you get goosebumps.
- Binge watching YouTube.
- Binge watching a show.
- The feeling of happiness when a new season or episode of your favorite show comes out.
- Accepting your flaws.
- Accepting your sexuality.
- Accepting yourself for who you are.
- Cake.
- Seeing results after working hard on something.
- Nature.
- The feeling of happiness after your dad rescues you from a spider.
- Dan and Phil.
- Buying new clothes and wearing them the day after.
- The feeling you get when your makeup is on point.
- Taking a good selfie.
- Seeing your idol happy.
- Seeing someone attractive and getting that feeling in your heart.
- The feeling of happiness when you buy a new cup.
- Laying under the sun.
- Looking at the moon.
- Hot guys.
- Dreamcatchers.
- When you've ordered something online and the package arrives.
- When your favorite artist releases a new album or song.
- Netflix.
- Realizing everything will be ok.

Likes

Comments

I spent a few days with two really good friends. We went midnight swimming and they slept over and we were up till 3am. We ate pizza, laughed and talked. We also went shopping which was so much fun! They stayed one more night and the next day we had a photoshoot which was also really fun!
I will never forget these past few days. They were amazing. These past few days I didn't think much about depression or suicide. I just, lived. And it felt amazing. I realized that I should spend more time with friends because they help me get out of my own head you know? But at the same time I enjoy being alone, alone in my own head.
If you're struggling with depression I suggest that you go outside and maybe hang out with people you love. It may help you a little. And you get a small break from everything.

Likes

Comments

Yesterday I watched a movie called 'Be Somebody' (you can buy it on iTunes) starring Matthew Espinosa (my hero) and Sarah Jeffery.
It's a movie about an artist who meets a normal girl and they spend a few days together and learn about each other and their lives as totally different people. This movie is also about art which is really inspiring for me because art is something I can't live without. I thought a lot about the title of the movie, 'Be Somebody'.
And I'm gonna tell you what I think about it.
Be somebody. Be yourself. Why? Because there's no one like you in this world. No one is like you and that's your power. Don't be a copy, be an original. Be a somebody. We are all different and it's beautiful. Don't think "why am not like her, I wanna be like her." Accept that you are different. Don't waste time trying to be like somebody else. "Trying to be someone else is a waste of who you are."
Be somebody, be an original, be an inspiration. Be yourself. You're different from everyone on this earth, and that's really beautiful. That's amazing.

Likes

Comments

Do you sometimes feel like your friends and family are living life while you just look and feel stuck? Do you ever feel like you're all alone? Alone in your dark thoughts? Because I do.

I feel stuck and alone in this bubble.
I feel alone most of the time. When I'm in public, with friends or family. I feel alone all the time.
I love being alone, but not feeling alone. I spend most of my time in my room, listening to music or silence, drawing and drinking tea. I'm in my own world, far away from reality. And I love it. But when I'm with people and mostly feel alone, like I'm in my own thoughts. I don't really like feeling alone. It feels like I'm in a little bubble.
I sometimes feel stuck. Like I'm watching my friends and family live life while I'm just, there. Like I'm stuck in my own mind, my dark thoughts that grow from day to day.
I know I'm not alone. Somewhere in this world there's someone who's like me. I know I'm not alone. All song lyrics and people on the internet tell me I'm not alone, but I can't help but feel alone...

Likes

Comments

No this is not gonna be a positive blogpost. But it's something I want to talk about.

On June 11th Christina Grimmie got killed. She got shot 3 times in front of fans and her brother. Christina was a singer and Youtuber with over 3 million fans. She was an inspiration for many people. She was only 22 years old. She was taken away way to early. The man who shot her killed himself right after he killed her. This is so sad. I remember when I first saw her on The Voice. And then I found her on YouTube.

And today there was a shooting in Orlando at a gay club. 50 people were killed and 53 were injured. This is horrible. Innocent people die just because of who they love. It is horrible.

I'm so scared to live in a world like this, I'm loosing hope for humanity. There's just way too much hate and gun violence. And I just wanna lay in bed and cry. There's so much hate and negativity in the world and I want you to know, we are here to help each other, and if you can't help them at least don't hurt them. We are here to lift each other up, not bring each other down.
Stay safe everyone and please tell the people you love that you love them.

Likes

Comments

I made it through another school year. I made it and I'm actually proud of myself. My brother just finished ninth grade (elementary school). Next year he's probably moving to mom so I'm not gonna see him everyday. But I only have two more years of elementary school. Anyway, I'm so proud of my big brother. And now we're on summer break and I'm so happy. It's time to live every day to the fullest. I'm so excited for summer, I have many plans. And maybe (hopefully) I can meet my girlfriend who lives 786km away from me..

Are you on summer break already? If you are, remember to live. Live everyday as if it was your last one, because before you know it, summer will be over. But now let's enjoy today, this moment.
And if you aren't on summer break yet, stay strong you'll be soon!

Be happy, smile. I love you a lot. Have a great day.

Likes

Comments