Hey everyone. How are you? I hope you’re fine. I’m okay actually.
Yesterday I had the motivation to do math all day and I also did a test that didn’t go so well but it’s okay. Today is a good day and I have had some pretty good days these past few weeks. I've started to enjoy life a little more now which is good. But I have still had some very difficult days. Some days are better, others are worse, or some moments are better, others are worse. I can be incredibly tired at school and still have motivation to do homework, I can have a bad day and still laugh at stuff and I can have a great day even though suicide is on my mind. It’s like, I can have a bad day but there can still be something good in it and I can have a good day but something bad can be in it. Let’s look at it like this, every day is cloudy, some days the sun shines through a little and other days it’s pouring down rain. But it’s always cloudy. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense. It’s just really hard to explain.
If you’ve recently read my blog, you may have read the “haters” blog post. I just wrote that people talk shit about me and blah blah blah. I don’t care that people hate me because as long as I know who I am, no one’s opinions about me matter, right? But it’s sad because now I’ve realized that I don’t have a lot of friends. I do have my two best friends that have been there for me through everything and they love and accept me for who I am. One of my best friends is actually my big brother. He’s not only my brother but a very good friend also. And my other best friend is my soulmate haha. I love her. I thought I had lots of friends but I don’t wanna be around people who hate me. And I’m actually going to move to a new school in a month or so. I’m a little nervous that I’ll get bullied but I’m also excited because I’ll get to know new people. It’s a big step, to move to a new school. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, which is good.
I don’t know what more to write in this blog post. I hope that you all are okay. I’ll write soon again. *hugs*