More than two months since I last wrote here.. I honestly don´t know where time went and I cannot believe that I have been here half my time. My 5 months here in america has been like a rollercoaster. I have days where I feel like shit, days that I´ve just wanted to go home. But then I also have happy days and that I never want to leave.
Never have I ever been this sad before, but also so happy at the same time. I meet people all the time, that I know I will never meet again, but I'm so happy they are a part of my experience. I´ve met best friends I never thought I could find here on the other side of the world, and it scares me that one day I'm not going to see them everyday, maybe not ever.
Before I came here, people told me that a part of your exchange, and your experience is about finding yourself. And I was thinking that I had no idea how this is gonna make me find myself but sure. Now when I'm here, wow I feel stronger than ever. Nights where I have no one really but myself, I know calling my parents and telling them how I really feel sometimes isn't gonna help me or them at all. I have to be there for myself, comfort myself, and honestly I have gotten pretty good at it. This exchange have made me more confident and stronger as a person.
I´m at that part of the year when time is starting to count down until I'm back home to same old again.. And I am not ready for it. I am not ready to go home, not yet. I don't think I will ever be ready to leave this place.. "Country Ebba" is forever <3
“The thing is - I won’t come back. The person you will welcome home in a year will not be the person you said goodbye to. It was a goodbye forever.”