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Today I want to talk about a topic that some of you might be able to relate to.
I play tennis once a week avec -S and go to the gym six times per week. Recently it’s been getting warmer in Finland which equals shorts and skirt season+tennis practise outside. I was debating whether or not I’d put an exclamation mark after that sentence because at least for me hot weather equals anxiety. The question is why? Oh I guess there’s many reasons, but one of the main things that I’m today going to be talking about is getting looks from everyone!
How can a piece of clothing (in this case shorts or why not a tennis skirt) be so provocative and controversial?
To me it’s a brave decision to choose wearing my shorts to a tennis lesson or to the gym because I know that I will be looked at (sometimes whistled at) because I’m wearing shorts. I always have a debate in my mind whether or not to wear shorts, like the devil and angel on each shoulder suggesting the pros and cons. Particularly, will I be looked at? Who is going to be at the gym during that time, who am I playing tennis with? When and where I’m playing tennis and so on. It is ridiculous! that I as a young woman have to have anxiety leaving the house with a top and shorts!
When I go to the gym I DO NOT want to look hot. I want to be as comfortable as possible whilst sweating litres. When I have to do cardio or HIIT I will take my shorts because I do not want to be sweating like a pig with an extra layer of clothing on. When I have tennis lessons outside in the late spring and early fall I couldn’t bare to be playing in leggings and a sweatshirt, it would get to hot. But am I ready to take the consequences?
Last time we had our tennis lesson outside. I couldn’t even count on my fingers and toes on how many particularly men walked or drove slowly past. I can bet that they weren’t that interested in our tennis lesson but more about the girls in shorts! It infuriates me so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop staring!!!!! Men are supposed to be able to control their eyes, right? Control their eyes like controlling any other part of the body. Men have to be able to control themselves, they aren’t animals, right? It’s not that hard to not stare at a woman’s breasts or bum! It’s not like women walk around and stare at men’s dicks all the time!
A few days ago I was going to the gym, hoping that the gym would be empty. (I went there before it even had opened). Unfortunately, it wasn’t, there were three other guys there, two older men maybe in their sixties and one younger in his twenties. My mood dropped a little because I wore shorts that day (because it was cardio day for me), I came to the gym to enjoy myself not to worry about if the others were watching me. I was sad because I was going to be walking on the stairmaster, in shorts. All I can say is bum supreme:(. I can’t lie to you that the thought of being alone with three guys didn’t scare me, it did! How on earth am I going to know if these men might or might not rape me.
Now someone might be thinking, “but not all men”. Let me tell you, that enough men have sexually abused women through times for us women to be scared in many situations alike to this day. You are right, not all men are rapists or have sexually abused someone, but enough men for us women to be told not to drink to much, not to walk alone home at night, not to wear to short clothes, to always have a charged phone battery and so on. And, we can never know when we’re alone and walk by a man in the night if that man is going to rape us. All men are potential rapers.
What if we told men those tips? What would happen? Mayhem? Or even better, what if men were taught not to rape or sexually abuse others? What if we were thaught that in school?
That would be great honestly. I guess it would have to be in a low grade, when for example 10-year-olds whistle after me.
Even worse is the rule that I’ve heard to many times: short legged= long sleeved or short sleeved=long legged. I’ve never heard that been said to a man! Ridiculous that men can walk shirtless to a grocery store or a restaurant and order food, whilst women most likely wouldn’t be allowed to a grocery store wearing a bikini because they would’ve been chased away before even entering the store or restaurant!
Remember that women aren’t objects! Women aren’t objects that men can look at, whistle on or say a disgusting comment to. We are human, like men. We own our bodies equally as much as men do! We can do whatever with our bodies, like men. We should be able to walk naked through the city at night without being looked at, screamed at, whistled at, touched (or something worse).
Thank you for reading!