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i know what it's like to be so angry at the world and to want to revenge what it has done to you

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it's the little things. like sitting next to my mom on the couch, looking at pictures of how i want my future apartment to look like, talking about how i dream of my future kitchen. it's the little things in life

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i don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not
i'm just following my heart
it's the only way i know

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those clear blue eyes of yours made me melt
i could see the hunger in them as you looked at me
the lust was real and it couldn't be stopped
you put your hands on my sensitive skin
and there was no way back
we just had to have each other

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i keep thinking what if
i keep thinking it could've
i keep thinking it should've
how do you stop
i don't know how to stop

- being in love with a narcissist/sociopath

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i realized it today
after you left with no possibility of closure
it all came crashing down
i fell in love with a narcissist
you manipulate me, you control me
and it gets worse
it has happened before
you're not even my first
it's like my heart seeks for trouble
it's self-destructive, that's what it is
i don't want to feel this way about you
or anyone like you
i don't want to let you destroy me
but it happens, over and over again
i let you control me, have power over me
i let you take exactly what you need from me
i'm afraid of myself, i'm afraid that
i'll lose myself again
please, just stay away from my dreams tonight
let me sleep and have a break from all of this
you're already everywhere
i don't want you in my dreams as well
you might look like you're an angel
but you're the devil with a mask

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i'm afraid of losing you and
i'm afraid of keeping you in my life
because i know that i will get hurt either way

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