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Looks like the devil on my shoulder took control. I was good until my usual 8 o'clock when I realized I was going to be the most unhappy person in the world for all eternity unless I got stoned. Lots of feelings are coming through my mind and body. But I have realized, am I really going to be able to do this on my own. Or am I going to fail. Do I need rehab? Do I need professional help other then drug counselling? Am I going to be able to be successful in eliminating something that causes more stress than relieves. I need to just do this once and for all. I know I can, Iam just being stubborn, Iam just being selfish and only thinking about what I want not what ashley wants.

The only time I don't know what I want in life is when I'm stressed cause I can't get high. Something in my mind switches. Something dark, that prioritized marijuana before all. Which is very very sad. The moment I cut the shit out, will be the moment I can show myself that I have the POWER. "Whats the point of fighting iwhen you don't have fight in you"

My effort has been so shitty... Day 1s final thoughts. Today has been a failure. Somewhere in my mind told me it's Monday and it's a fresh start tomorrow. So today doesn't matter and fuck everything I should stand for. Enough is a fuckin Nuff. Sick and tired of this get a grip of yourself man! I promise myself and this blog lol that I'm a sober person till we have a baby! Then I could smoke here and there if I desire. But I'll be way more intelligent so it'll be alright. I GOT THIS!

Ed

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16 bloody years.....I've been a slave to marijuana. Enough is enough and it's time to quit for good. It's time to start a new chapter, better yet a start to a Book. First off, I have decided to create a public blog. Mainly for myself, as I can write down my weekly,daily, hourly , struggles with quitting the drug for good.

I have been struggling with my addiction for quite sometime. It has taken over my life and my wife's. She isn't. Smoker though. She just has to deal with my crap on a daily basis. I know I have a problem, the only time with argue of have any disagreement. It all comes down to marijuana. But this will change and it must. I have no place to go but forward in my life. My suffer from severe anxiety and depression which is heavily linked to my drug use has crippled me in life's. Been off work for quite some time now, once the marijuana issue is taken care of, I can return with a clear mind and have my life back of track

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