Happiness is in the mind, not in outside events and circumstances. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative thinking.
There is an opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.
I encourage you to reflect on recent situations where you’ve felt let down – where life’s outcomes were nowhere near as good as you expected. Rather than focusing on the uncontrollable things that were “done to you,” consider instead your part in what went down. For example, perhaps your gut told you not to do something, but you did so anyway. Or maybe you were deceived a second time by the same person, and wish you had let go of the relationship sooner. Or perhaps you just weren’t paying attention and ended up missing out on a great opportunity.
It’s so easy to be negative when things go wrong, or blame others for negative outcomes in your life. But do negativity and blame change anything for the better?
Truth be told, the best time to be positive and take responsibility for your happiness is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.
No matter what the specifics of your troubled times are, taking a moment to look inward at what you could have done differently and how you could potentially avoid similar situations in the future can be a healthy exercise. This is not to blame yourself or shame yourself, but simply to give you the opportunity to learn, on a higher level, from your experiences.
It’s about learning to choose the most effective response in a difficult, uncontrollable life situation.
It’s about learning to think better so you can ultimately live better, no matter what.
The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.
But how exactly can you change your negative attitude and adjust your inner dialog in the heat of the moment?