We only fall in love with 3 people in our lifetime - each one for a specific reason.
Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It's the idealistic love - the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children. This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society's sake - and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn't matter if it doesn't feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.
The second is supposed to be our hard love - the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation. We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons - but we hang on. Our second love can become a cyle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before. Sometimes it's unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even psysical abuse or manipulation - most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it's the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.
And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn't seem possible. It's the kind where the connection can't be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it. This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits - there aren't any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.